'M*A*S*H' - 'The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan' Quiz

Answer: Her mother is giving birth

When Margaret runs off to help the young girl's mother, Klinger requests that if anything should happen to her he receive her clothes. Klinger is then relieved by Goldman, who promptly undoes Klinger's bra. According to Klinger, 'I usually don't let guys do this on the first date.'

Answer: A geisha house in Tokyo

Frank is awakened by this banter, and naturally becomes hostile towards poor Radar. According to Frank, 'Any mindless baboon can see that she's not here, including me! Now get out!'

Answer: B.J.

We don't see Frank shoot B.J., rather, the scene shifts to Hawkeye showering. In the distance, a gunshot goes off, bringing the entire camp towards the Swamp. Of course 'M*A*S*H' nuts know right away that Frank's gunplay would cause trouble. Luckily, B.J.'s leg is only grazed by the bullet discharged from Frank's piece. Frank whines to Potter that he was only cleaning his weapon, and that he thinks Margaret has been captured by the Chinese. Potter responds, 'I see, and naturally you shot Captain Hunnicutt!'

Answer: Nudidity

Radar is well-known for making up words, especially under pressure. Forced to check the nurses' shower, he comes in with his hand covering his eyes. An angry Nurse Baker insists that Hot Lips is not in the tent, which satisfies Radar. Radar is also satisfied with a brief peek between his fingers!

Answer: Ling Chow

Radar recognizes Flagg right away, which is naturally disturbing to our favorite master of disguise. When queried about this, Radar responds, 'Well, you don't look anything like you, sir. And since you're a master of disguises, I figured you're the only one who couldn't look like you that much.' Flagg responds to this convoluted explanation by saying, 'I'll by that...for now.' He then threatens Radar with the 'Malaysian Chest Implosion Torture'.

Answer: The Three Stooges

According to Flagg, he watched 100 hours of 'The Three Stooges', and every time he felt the need to smile, he jabbed himself in the stomach with a cattle prod. Let's hope the cattle prod wasn't electrified!

Answer: The biting off of his left ear

When Flagg inquires about B.J.'s injured leg, B.J. responds that he 'cut himself shaving'. Flagg then asks B.J. where Houlihan is, to which B.J. answers, 'I think it's near Dublin'. Flagg responds thusly: 'That's insubordination. You do that to me one more time and I'm entitled to...(flipping through his notebook)...bite off your left ear. Just food for thought.'

Answer: Reader's Digest

Flagg tells Frank that reading 'Reader's Digest' won't look good on his record, which perplexes Frank. Flagg explains that 'when you eliminate the third, fifth and sixth letters' then it becomes 'Red's Digest'. He then calls Frank 'Comrade' and 'Pinko'. This is Frank we're talking about here!

Answer: The wind

At the end of the episode, his mission complete, Flagg insists that all the M*A*S*H dwellers close their eyes for his departure. He then procedes to dive out the window of Colonel Potter's office. Hawkeye looks out the wind and quips, 'The wind just broke its leg.'

Answer: A box of scorpions

The other three proposals are all part of his grand scheme to locate Margaret. The box of scorpions is 'personal'...a gift for a friend. Luckily, Margaret turns up on her own and Flagg is allowed to disappear in his own particular idiom. Thank you for trying this quiz, I hope you enjoyed it. I invite you to try my many other 'M*A*S*H'-related quizzes if you had fun with this one!