The Washingtonians Trivia Quiz

Answer: Ice cream

The story opens with a young woman walking down a forest road late at night. Although it's raining, no cars will give her a ride, so she trudges onward. As she continues, she hears the sound of a horse neighing behind her, and she turns around to see two men in colonial suits on horseback chasing her.

She drops her backpack and runs, but before she can escape, they swing their sword, decapitating her. A family drives along during the day. While the daughter, Amy, in the back licks at a melting ice cream, the family listens to a man rant about politics and the media over the radio. Amy asks to turn off the station as the man is giving her a headache, and they agree.

When they finally arrive at their destination, their new house, Amy says that it has always given her the creeps.

Answer: His grandmother

When the family reaches the front door, they find Samuel Matterson, who has their house keys and information, sleeping in a rocking chair and they wake him up. The father introduces himself as Mike Franks, and he says that they talked on the phone with him. Mr. Matterson gives his condolences as he knew Mike's grandmother before she passed away, and although he was sorry to see her go, he was glad she went so peacefully. Mike introduces his wife, Pam, and daughter, Amy, to Sam, and Sam gives them the keys to their house, wishing them a peaceful stay in their new abode and telling Mike that all the paperwork can be finished after the service.

He also gives Amy a cherry lollipop, saying it's his favourite flavour, and she thanks him for it.

The family quickly bids him goodbye and enters their new house.

Answer: In the basement

When the family unpacks the car, Amy says that she needs to use the bathroom. After her parents tell her where to go, she nervously makes her way across the house, stopping before she reaches the lavatory. Her mind quickly shifts to an open cellar door that she decides to walk through and into the darkness claiming that she's not afraid.

When she goes downstairs though, she finds two eyes looking straight at her, illuminated by the crack of a window. When she screams, Mike and Pam race downstairs to investigate, and though she says that a man is downstairs, it turns out to be a painting of George Washington. Mike wonders why the basement door was open though, his grandmother always kept it locked.

When the family goes upstairs to unpack, Mike realizes that they're the only relatives left in the family, and that only his grandmother's friends will be at the funeral otherwise.

Answer: Mike

The family takes the chance to look around in the basement, and Mike tells Pam that his grandfather owned a tobacco shop until he died, but he also had a neat collection of American history trinkets like his own little museum. When he died, his grandmother kept a fair bit of it in her basement. Meanwhile, Amy stands in front of the George Washington painting yelling that she's not going to be afraid of it. In the moment, she kicks the wheelchair it's sitting on and it comes crashing down towards her, but Mike pulls her away. While Pam and Amy head upstairs, Mike picks up the painting, and upon inspecting it, he finds a torn corner on it. Looking inside this, he finds a fork and an old, rolled-up piece of paper with an odd message.
"I will skin your children and eat them. Upon finishing, I will fashion utensils out of their bones."
Pam finds him reading this and notes that it is initialed by 'GW'. They look at the fork and realize that it certainly could be bone. Pam asks Mike what he thinks, and he believes it could fairly be George Washington's note.
That night, while discussing it on the front porch, Mike hears something in the bushes that sounds kind of like horse hooves, but he and Pam figure it's nothing.

Answer: True

Mike, Pam and Amy go to the funeral the following day and they are met with a few of Mike's grandparents' acquaintances, who seem quite eccentric. Many of them knew Mike's grandfather when he owned his shop, and all of them thought his grandmother was a very wonderful woman. For some reason, all of them have a likeness for Amy.
After the funeral, Sam signs the house over to Mike and asks what he's going to do with all of the memorabilia in the basement. Mike says he'll sell some and keep others, but he shows Sam the note from behind the painting, saying that he might know what to make of it. Sam is delighted, saying that it could be a genuine piece of American history, and since Washington is from the area, it could be a great piece for a collection. Sam says that he can find a very discreet collector, but Mike says he wants it in a museum. Sam gets angry at this comment, saying that this one piece could rewrite history and change an entire image of George Washington for millions. Mike says he'll talk to Pam about it, but Sam warns him to sleep on it.
On the way home, Mike nearly throws the page out his car window, but as he looks over, he realizes that a man on horseback is following him, so he swerves out of the way and drives home faster.

Answer: A human heart

Mike rushes downstairs and tells Pam what happened and although she doesn't believe it quite much at first, she starts to be swayed by it. The family decides to eat out at a restaurant, and they notice that all of the elderly patients in the dining room are eating thick meat. Mike becomes nervous when the waitress calls Amy 'cute enough to eat', and as he looks around, he thinks that the seniors are getting ominously ravenous. When the family returns home, the front door is ajar, and the house has been trashed. Pam asks him where the note is and he claims he kept it on him, but upon further inspection, he finds the bone fork missing. Amy, meanwhile, goes to the kitchen and finds a human heart still beating on the table.

They call the cops, who come promptly soon after, and after an odd conversation with them, Mike is once again told to sleep on it.

He tells Pam that they're leaving right then and there, so they head back to their real home.

Answer: A finger

At home, Mike tucks Amy into her bed but she can't sleep. There's a creaking noise coming from the patio surrounding the house, and Amy is awakened by a knocking at her window. Still in a daze, Amy gets up and opens the blinds to find George Washington standing outside her window. Amy asks the man if he wants to come in and he nods, baring his wooden teeth. Amy screams and Pam and Mike rush in. Amy swears she telling the truth though, and a knock comes from the door downstairs.

When Mike looks in the peephole, it's numerous men in white wigs and wooden teeth, and they demand to have the letter. Pam calls the police, and before the men can knock down the door, the sirens sound in the distance and they run away, vowing to return. The following morning, the police depart and Pam tells Mike that she wants the note out of her house. Mike says that they have an obligation though, and that he'll call his professor friend in the morning for more info.

Answer: At home

Mike calls Professor Harkinson for more information, and upon hearing a description of the Washingtonians, he knows who they are. He tells Mike that spies are everywhere, and that he and his family are in grave danger. They decide to meet to discuss the note, so the Professor visits Mike at home. Harkinson tells Mike that the Washingtonians are the fringe of the fringe, sent out to protect the true legacy of Washington.

The truth is that George Washington was a cannibal, but he was sent out to be the founding father of the country, and the people behind the myth that is history decided that the image was more important than the truth. Harkinson says that historians set out to perpetuate the lies rather than the truths of the nation, taking what people wanted to believe, and then using that as truth.

Answer: A cherry tree and a hatchet

Harkinson continues by asking for the age of Mike's daughter and he replies she's 10. Harkinson is troubled by this. The cherry tree on the exclusive Washingtonian emblem was a cherry tree, meant to symbolize the founding father's fondness for the meat of virgins. Soon, the Washingtonians are pounding on the door and Mike leads Harkinson to the back door of the house, giving him the note and telling him to guard it with his life.

He quickly takes Pam and Amy as the Georges take their hatchets to the door, but they find that there's no escape.

They knock out Mike and take the family into a caravan, driving it to their headquarters, the original feasting hall for George Washington. The family is welcomed by a room of Washingtonians, who soon dig into their meal: an elderly man cooked and served on a large plank.

As the family walks past the guests at the table, they recognize some familiar faces from their time at the new house, like the waitress at the diner and the cops who first saw to the break-in.

The Washingtonians tell them that they thank them for the bone fork, completing their collection of femur forks from the first continental congress. They then tell the Franks the history behind Washington. He acquired the taste for cannibalism when he and his men starved at Valley Forge when he and his men ate their dead to survive. After this, Washington killed a man a day because of the power it gave him.

Answer: False

The cannibals continue, saying that Thomas Jefferson killed himself for their cause, and the one thing that they have, prized above most other things, is Washington's wooden teeth, under glass, to protect and treasure. Mike calls the Washingtonians insane, that they treasure a horrible founding father who did no good for their country, but the Washingtonians tell him that he is not a guest in their halls, but a prisoner, probably to become supper. Sam Matterson steps up too, saying that Mike's grandfather was a treasured member of their exclusive group, and he'd be very disappointed, but Mike insists that they're all horrible people.

The Washingtonians nearly take a knife to Amy, but Harkinson appears with a SWAT team. As the Franks move out of the way and the Washingtonians draw their revolvers and swords, the SWAT team opens fire, killing every last one.

While the federal agents finish off the last of the Washingtonians, Harkinson hands Mike the letter, telling him to tell the world, and the government will sweep the rest of the mess under the rug. Six months later, the Franks are back at home ordering Chinese food (no meat) and they pay the delivery guy, but when he gives back the change, the family is shocked to find that the government switched Georges on the dollar bill.

Instead of seeing George Washington's face on the bill, George W. Bush now graces the currency.