How Come You Got a Wife? Trivia Quiz

Answer: His "pretty floral bonnet"

Mal and Jayne are riding on a wagon when they are stopped by the bandits. Mal is disguised as a woman, ostensibly Jayne's wife, complete with dress and "pretty floral bonnet". Mal and Jayne keep up the disguise for quite a while in front of the bandits, with Mal exclaiming in mock-outrage, "How can you shame me in front of new people?" when Jayne confides to the bandits that he married himself a "powerful ugly creature".

Answer: The airflow

Inara wonders why it wasn't Zoe who was in the dress, and Mal informs her that besides the fact that tactically he needed Zoe in the back of the wagon, there's something about wearing a soft cotton dress - an "airflow thing" that he's partial to. Inara laughingly withdraws the question and leaves Mal some of his "mystery".

Answer: "Don't sully this!"

Jayne is annoyed that while all he got from the villagers was some stick that lets you know when it's about to rain, Mal got a wife. Wash and Zoe appear to be greatly amused at the situation, Kaylee is happy for the captain, while Inara is not at all pleased with the turn of events. Mal stubbornly refuses to believe he's married at all until Shepherd Book informs him that the party they attended the night before actually involved the marriage ceremony of the Triumph settlers, in which he unknowingly took part.

Answer: Dumb

Saffron's belief that Mal might kill her purely because he didn't want her for his wife leads Mal to have a heart-to-heart discussion with her about her rights as a human being. He reassures her that she has just as much right as the next person to live her life as she chooses and "try to kill people" (well, those that are trying to kill her, anyway!).

Answer: If he would like her to wash his feet

The look on Mal's face at this point is absolutely priceless! It's during this scene that we can sense Zoe is getting the feeling that all is not quite right with Saffron. Wash is just taken with the fact that Saffron has actually cooked a meal; after Mal leaves, he tucks into what he has left with great pleasure!

Answer: Hundreds of fat children

Inara asks Mal what he's doing in her shuttle and he tells her that he's there to "hide". Picking up on Inara's terse responses to him, Mal wonders aloud if she's angry because he got himself a wife, or because he doesn't plan to keep her. At this point, Inara has had enough and asks him to leave her alone.

Answer: Vera

Mal cannot believe that Jayne had even considered that he might be willing to swap Saffron for a gun ("My days of taking you seriously are sure coming to a middle"). He immediately rejects Jayne's offer (much to the latter's dismay) and tells him that Saffron is a living being who is not to be lent or sold, eventually telling Jayne, "Go play with your rain stick".

Answer: The large one.

Saffron confesses that she doesn't wish to be wed to Jayne, and tells Mal that if he's sure he doesn't want her for his wife, then she'd rather find work, perhaps on a ranch - something Mal had mentioned to her earlier as a possibility. She gets Mal talking about himself, much to his surprise, and we learn that Mal was brought up on a ranch on Shadow.

Answer: Juggling geese

"Baby geese - goslings! They were juggled!" Despite her initial reaction to Saffron's presence on board Serenity, Zoe no longer finds the situation funny. Unimpressed with her husband's defence of Saffron, Zoe is not buying her innocence, and Wash agrees with her that Saffron is trouble, not knowing that they're about to find out just how much trouble she really is!

Answer: "Whoa. Good myth."

Wash's response is an echo of Mal's "Whoa. Good Bible", said when Saffron had just told him that she knows what her Bible says about how a wife should behave towards her husband. This time, though, Saffron doesn't get to use the Goodnight Kiss, instead having to resort to a kick to Wash's head. With Saffron's true colours finally revealed, the crew work together to escape the trap she has laid for them, with Jayne's gun Vera coming to the rescue. Mal eventually tracks Saffron down, retrieves the shuttle she'd stolen and returns to Serenity, leaving Saffron behind, unconscious, but alive to plot and scheme again in the future ...