Guilty M'Lud Trivia Quiz

Answer: A bow and arrow

This law dates back to the time when incursions over the border from Scotland into England, both as ad hoc raiding parties and as part of full scale wars were common. After the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314 York was in grave danger of actual invasion by the Scots. This danger continued on and off for several years. In 1319, a hastily raised militia had to fight the Scots in the Vale of York, and three years later a Scots raiding party made it into the suburbs of the city before being repulsed. This threat continually overshadowing the city meant that any Scotsman armed with a bow and arrow found within the city walls could legally be killed on sight. The definition of bow and arrow includes a crossbow.

The city of Chester has a similar law, but in their case it is Welshmen you are allowed to shoot if you see one armed with a crossbow within the city walls. The shooting must however be done after midnight. Presumably because no armed Welshmen ever attempt to invade during the hours of daylight.

Answer: Mince Pies

After defeating King Charles I and becoming Lord Protector of England, Oliver Cromwell banned a lot of things. His view of life was very austere and he felt that Christmas, as it was celebrated at that time, was far too frivolous. Prior to Cromwell Christmas had been celebrated with a Public Holiday, special food and the giving of presents, and special church services.

The following eleven days were given over to festivities including dancing, attending stage plays, and drinking. This culminated in festivals and feasts on Twelfth Night. Under the Puritan rule attending Christmas Mass was forbidden as were mince pies, any dancing, singing or drinking and the decorating of homes.

This was not popular and many people continued to celebrate Christmas in secret.

Answer: Affix it with the Monarch's head upside down

An historic law states that it is treason to defame, deface or mock the Monarch's portrait, and it is sometimes claimed that sticking a stamp on upside down comes under this heading and is therefore an act of treason. No-one has ever actually been arrested and brought to trial for this, so quite what the punishment would be if they were actually found guilty is not known.

Answer: A suit of armour

This one dates back to 1313 when knights, who made up the Parliament of the times, still wore armour. Quite why it was forbidden has been lost in the mists of time. It could be because armour clanked quite a lot so it would have been hard to hear what was being said, or because knights in armour were, quite frankly, rather smelly so a lot of armour in a hot closed room would have been very unpleasant even by the hygiene standards of the time. Or it could have been to prevent fights and encourage debate instead.

The only person allowed to carry a sword in Parliament is the Serjeant at Arms who carries one as a symbol of his official role, which is to preserve security. The members cloakroom still has special hooks for the MPs to hang their swords before entering the main chamber.

Answer: Bubonic plague

Bubonic plague was a scourge across Europe at various times. Outbreaks are recorded from the sixth century onwards, with an especially bad outbreak happening from 1340 to 1400 which killed approximately one third of the world's population. London suffered the "Great Plague" in 1665, and it was finally stopped by the 1666 Fire of London. It is a highly contagious disease, and one of the ways of trying to contain it was quarantine of affected areas. London made laws against movement of affected populations and one of these was that it was an offence to hail a taxi if you knew you had the plague.

Taxis have existed in London since 1636 when King Charles I allowed 50 horse-drawn hackney carriages to ply for hire. Oliver Cromwell increased this to 200 and various other acts gradually increased the numbers until, in 1833, the number became unregulated. The only requirement was that the vehicle and driver were "fit and proper". This requirement still applies today to London's famous black cabs.

There were of course unregulated taxis, as there are today, and the rivalry between registered and unregistered cabs goes back to the very first cabs.

Answer: The longbow

This goes back to the days when English longbow archers were amongst the most feared fighters in Europe. They were especially effective in the Hundred Years War where they helped win the battles of Crecy (1346) and Poitiers (1356). The most famous use of the longbow in battle though is Agincourt in 1415 where their strategic use enabled King Henry V to defeat a French army that had far superior numbers.

Any Englishman could be conscripted into the Army if required during those times, and the use of the longbow was considered so important that all males from 14 upwards had to do two hours of practice each week. This was usually supervised by the clergy. European armies took longbows so seriously that if they captured an archer they cut off the first two fingers of their right hand, the fingers that pulled the bow string. The two fingered V sign originates from this, it is the English showing their enemies that they still have their bow pulling fingers intact.

Answer: A pigsty

The above acts state that it is illegal to keep a pigsty in front of your house (unless it is hidden) although at the rear is perfectly OK. Presumably this had something to do with street sanitation. The same Acts also state it is illegal to "stretch a washing line across the street", "sing any profane or obscene song in the streets" or "disturb people by knocking at their doors or ringing the doorbell and then running away". It is also against the law to "order or allow any servant to stand on a windowsill to clean or paint the window". This refers to the outside windowsill, not the inside.

It is also illegal to beat any carpet or rug out of doors in the Metropolitan Police Area, although you can shake doormats provided it is before 8am.

Answer: The Monarch

This law is now largely disregarded. At one time all beached whales and sturgeons had to be offered to the Monarch. In practice however it is likely that the Monarch was too busy with other things to worry about a beached animal several hundred miles away, so the "Receiver of Wreck" acted on his or her behalf and decided on how the animal should be disposed of.

These days even the Receiver of Wreck no longer expects to be told about whales, although if any sturgeon are found they are still offered to the Monarch. Beachings and strandings should now be reported to the Natural History Museum who may want to examine the animal for clues as to why it beached.

Answer: Die

It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament. They are technically a Royal Palace, so anyone who dies there is entitled to a state funeral. This has been avoided by making dying on the premises illegal. Quite how you could punish anyone who commits this offence is unclear. Over the years people have died on the premises, but they have always been removed to hospital before being declared dead, thus they have avoided breaking one of our most ludicrous laws.

Answer: Ring their bell

The streets were mainly dominated by horse drawn vehicles at the time, but cycling was on the rise. Neither horse drivers and riders, or pedestrians, were used to looking out for cyclists, so a law was introduced that said every cycle had to have a bell fitted and this had to be continuously sounded while the cycle was in motion.

This is one of the very few road laws passed that directly affect cycling. They do not need road tax or insurance. They do, at night, have to show a white front light and a red rear light, but unlike a car, if conditions are bad during the day they do not have to switch their lights on. They are expected to obey general rules of the road like stopping at traffic lights and junctions, and they are not allowed to ride on the pavement. It is also an offence to be drunk in charge of a cycle.