The Great Jim Gaffigan Trivia Quiz

Answer: Illinois

Jim was born in Elgin, Illinois, and raised in Indiana. He eventually moved to New York to pursue an entertainment career.

Answer: "We're from Indiana, and we're gonna move."

Born and raised in Chesterton, IN, Jim's birthday is July 7th.

"We had something similar to the Mafia where I grew up--4H"

Answer: Latin

"Cuz if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' But if you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk! Stay away from him, he's a turd!'"

Answer: Elton John

"The reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John. He was a very good mommy!"

Answer: "Oh, they're nice"

"If a stranger smiles at you and they're attractive you think, Oh, they're nice."

While doing research for this quiz, I discovered that only forty percent of Americans consider themselves attractive.

Answer: "What do they want?"

"But if the stranger's ugly, you're like,What do they want?"


According to the same research, sixty percent of all Americans believe they are ugly.

Answer: Couples

"Isn't it strange when you're single, all you see are couples?"

The same research turned up that approximately fity-six percent of all Americans are married.

Answer: Eight

"I'll have a glass of water, and you want a shot of Yeager? You want eight of 'em?"

Short for Jagaermeister, it is a sweet, yellow Italian herbal liquor. It is flavored with various herbs, flowers and spices, including anise, licorice and vanilla, giving it an unique taste.

Answer: You don't use mayonnaise, why?

"You don't use mayonnaise, why? Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it OK if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside..."

The average tablespoon of mayonnaise contains 100 calories.

Answer: French

"That must've been some weird marketing meeting over in France. Some French guy's sitting there, 'How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.'"

French companies such as Evian and Perrier are sold in the United States, but since the French protest of 2003's Iraqi War, many Americans are going for home-based products.

Answer: Mexican restaurant

"What is nacho? Tortilla with cheese, meat, or vegetables. Then what is a burrito? Tortilla with cheese, meat, or vegetables. Then what is a tostata? Tortilla with cheese, meat, or vegetables. Then what is.. It's all the same! Why don't you say a Spanish word and I'll bring ya something!"

The difference between many Spanish dishes is the presentation and spices used.

Answer: People with glasses

"I trust people with glasses. You can do that dramatic removal."

No wonder Jim trusts people with glasses; he wore glasses until he had the LASIK surgery performed.

Answer: This tastes like wax!

"This tastes like wax! Plastic!"

One often sees people chew on the end of glasses in 1950's and 1960's black and white sci-fi movies.

Answer: All of these

"I don't go up to people with hairpieces. Let me try on your wig! I feel like it. Let me sit in your wheelchair. You are so crippled! Let me check out your respirator. (wheeze) Stop shaking! (wheeze, wheeze) Now's no time for a nap!

High voice: "Someone died in that joke. That was a sad joke. Sad joke."

One British critic complained that Jim's high-pitched voice (which he believes is what the audience is thinking) was grating and annoying.

Answer: True

"'Let's go, buddy, Holland Tunnel!' Suddenly, you're wasting their time!"

At the time of this special, Jim had lived in NYC for 11 years.

Answer: Send a postcard

"Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something. But you could be a genius, but you try and write a postcard, you come across like a moron anyway. This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye."

In this age of e-mails and fax machines, one rarely gets a postcard anymore.

Answer: Quizzes the recipient

"That's why when I send a postcard, I quiz people. Did you get my postcard? 'Yeah, yeah.' Oh, really, what'd I say? 'You were having a...' I was in jail."

Answer: Has to put on pants

"I gotta go to the post office, but I'd probably have to put on pants. They're only open til 5. I'm gonna have to do that next week. I need a little more free time!"

Couldn't the post office be considered a monopoly? Really, they are the only ones in the country that are allowed to distribute mail. Think about that one.

Answer: Lifetime

"You know what channel I love? Lifetime, because Lifetime is television for women. Lifetime, Television for women. Yet for some reason, there's always a woman getting beaten on that network. In a Lifetime original, Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten with a rod in a Lifetime original "Rod"."

Answer: Manatee

"Doesn't the manatee look like a guest on the Ricki Lake show? 'Uh Ricki, I'm here because I'm endangered.' Then one of those mean people in the audience would offer up the advice. 'Yeah, I wanna say something to the sea pig.' 'Sea cow.' 'Whatever. Sea pig, you gotta get yourself an education and a job.' 'I live in the ocean.' 'It just so happens you live in the ocean 'cuz you ain't got no job.'"

On Jim's official website, he has a link to a "Save the Manatees" website.

Answer: "Heat"

"'Heat? I saw that six years ago!' Yeah, wanna talk about it now! 'No, loser!'"

He's right, there is that awkward pause when you've seen a movie too late, unless it's a classic like "Casablanca" or "The Godfather."

Answer: 250

"What was it about? No idea! Took me two years!"

Answer: Ruben

"The first kid, you were named after grandma. The seventh kid, you were named after a sandwich I had."

For those who don't know, a ruben is a corned beef sandwich on rye bread. Ruben is also the winner of the 2003 season of "American Idol."

Answer: Parents of Pope

"Oh, your son's a doctor, ours is Pope. He has a house? Ours has his own city. It's in Europe."

The Pope's city is called Vatican City. It's on the eastern coast of Italy.

Answer: Dear Apostles:

"Letter to the apostles--Dear apostles, how was your weekend? Sure is hot here. Tell Jesus hey. This is the Word of the Lord. That's it for me everyone. Good night!"

The real letters that Peter wrote to the Apostles can be found in Peter 1 and 2. While you're there, check out the rest of the Bible.

Hope that you enjoyed this quiz, and thanks for playing!