"DM of the Rings" - The Grand Finale Quiz

Answer: All of these.

Despite having gone through an underground cave, and then journeyed up-river in pirate boats, Aragorn argues fiercely that their horses have been right there with them, all along.

This is chiefly because he wants to sell a huge mass of equipment he stole from the royal armory at Edoras - so much equipment that he had to store it in his horse's saddlebags (a virtually bottomless container). He's also fighting to prove his point, and naturally the argument only comes up when Aragorn attempts to "saddle up" for the ride to Mordor...

Answer: Heal Faramir and Eowyn.

Aragorn was constantly being reminded to heal the two while he was in Minas-Tirith, but he kept putting it off. He's reminded once more when the army is already halfway to the battle with Sauron. Aragorn elects to "just hop back to the city for a moment" (a three-day ride in each direction), heal Faramir and Eowyn ("Expecto Healum or some such!") and avert all chances for further suspense and drama in the process.

Answer: One and a half

"I am the Mouth of Sauron."
"Is there anyone amongst such rabble with the authority to -"
And then his head is chopped off by Aragorn.

The clichéd phrase "Cutting to the chase" has never been more appropriate. It seems like the forces of darkness have yet to learn that the "good guys" have a different definition for the word "Parley". To them it means:
Parley (n): Perfect timing for a surprise attack.

Answer: A Troll

For the first time in this long campaign, the remaining members of the fellowship find something worthy to fight - in other words, not an Orc. They are understandably ecstatic! Too bad though: they're not going to get the chance to actually fight it. What did you expect?

Answer: Pure Luck

The Dungeon Master throws a die. It's the climax, after all. Welcome to the exciting world of role playing games!

Answer: 10

The Dungeon Master rolls a twenty-sided die to see whether Frodo can overcome the One Ring's temptation and throw it into the volcano. The die comes up 10. Everyone is anxious to find out if that means victory or defeat...and then the Dungeon Master confesses that he's mistakenly rolled the wrong kind of die. Apparently this doesn't matter - Frodo succeeds in his task: saving the world from a dead-end plot of biblical proportions.

Answer: 8

All four hobbits were players initially, until they decided to go off and play Star Wars D&D. Subsequently, the hobbits were almost completely written out of the story. There was also a guy named Frank who played Boromir, until he was brutally slain by an endless onslaught of Orcs and refused to play on. Gandalf is a non-player-character, so he doesn't count.

This brings the total up to eight.

Answer: The Dungeon Master

After having complained incessantly about him and his single-mindedness, lack of creativity and long-windedness throughout the entire comic, you'd think the players would be less enthusiastic about playing another campaign written by the same Dungeon Master. And yet they actually elect him to do so! That is, assuming he can get some "better source material". Figures.

Answer: Aragorn

Aragorn has won a sword, a kingdom and a beautiful Elf maiden, and gets to live on for another 120 years, not to mention all the money he must've made from selling the entire contents of the Edoras Armory.

By comparison, Legolas and Gimli won... gardening and craft work duties in Minas Tirith. Gimli is particularly upset - the only piece of loot he got were three strands of hair from Galadriel, which he hasn't even bothered to write in his inventory list. He wonders how she would've reacted had he offered to give her his toenail clippings.

Answer: Shamus Young

A tough question to end this long and arduous journey. Then again, it's in the website name!

http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?cat=14