Don't Say Cheese! Trivia Quiz

Answer: Maggots

Yes, the Sardinians take a fine young pecorino, and deliberately allow it to become infested with the larvae of the cheese fly. Their secretions produce a liquid referred to as "lagrima"- tears. I'd cry too!

Answer: Eye protection

The maggots, upon invasion of their cheesy home, begin jumping into the air (one of the names of this cheese translates to "jumping cheese.) Catapulting up to six inches, they often land in the eyes of cheese consumers.

Answer: Ulcerated intestines

The maggots are even less happy about being eaten. Undeterred by a little stomach acid, they find themselves in the intestines and, determined to escape, burrow into the intestinal walls, causing ulcers, nausea and bleeding.

This cheese is traditionally eaten accompanied by strong red wine- whether to kill the maggots or to numb the senses enough for such foolish behavior I do not know.

Answer: Cheese mite excrement

Milbenkäse is produced by placing a mild white cheese seasoned with salt and caraway into a container filled with cheese mites, which have been lovingly fattened with rye flour. The happy mites excrete prodigiously, and the cheese is kept in confinement until its rind has achieved a lovely shade of brown or black.

The monument is a giant statue of a cheese mite. I doubt it draws many tourists.

Answer: Fresh cow manure

The cheese is aged on racks a few feet away from the dairy's manure pile. While the inside stays soft and creamy, the outside gets a bit smelly...or in the words of one gourmet, "redolent of the byre."

Answer: Viking Viagra

Nowadays it is made in factories and is less pungent, although it still packs a powerful wallop (purchasers are advised to keep it frozen to prevent excess funkiness.)

Why this stuff is claimed to be an aphrodisiac is anyone's guess.

Answer: Vieux Lille

As Teddington's states (http://www.teddingtoncheese.co.uk/acatalog/de433.htm)"If you asked us which is the strongest cheese in the shop, Vieux Lille would be a good contender for the super-heavyweight crown. With a pungent odour and strong salty flavour, this cheese is certainly not for the faint-hearted.

The alternate names of 'Puant de Lille' and 'Puant Macéré' are a little more descriptive, the latter being literally translated as 'stinking pickle'."

Answer: It's named after a pear

Stinking Bishop is redolent of damp, moldy socks. It gets this strong odor from repeated baths in perry, a wine made with pears, which encourages the growth of a certain smelly bacterium. The perry is made from a pear called Stinking Bishop, which is named after an ill-tempered man of the cloth who first bred it.

This cheese was featured in the movie "Wallace & Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit," which cased demand to skyrocket so high that the only producer of the cheese, Gloucestershire farmer Charles Martell, was pressured to sell his business. He refused.

Answer: Repeated washes in beer

The beer combines with the cheese enzymes to produce an overpowering odor as it ferments. The study was sponsored by a French cheese organization which wants to encourage people to eat more smelly cheeses. The head of this organization, Sally Clark, stated in a press release "France has a huge selection of weird and wonderful whiffy cheeses and their smell often disguises a delicate, subtle flavour that has to be tried to be believed."

I'll pass, thank you.

Answer: You can't ride public transportation

According to many sources, Epoisses was banned, at least in the past, from public transportation; its smell being so offensive as to nauseate even the smelly-cheese-loving French. There is some dispute as to whether the ban still exists.