Mess is Lore Trivia Quiz

Answer: hardtack

In the 18th Century, Royal Navy sailors called food "tack". Texture took care of the rest. If the quartermaster's heart was as hard as this bread, he was a mean one indeed. Hardtack is functionally inedible unless re-cooked or otherwise softened. It was often hard enough to break teeth in its natural state. Hardtack will definitely keep.

It keeps well enough that in 1897, during the Spanish-American War thousands of US troops consumed, without incident, hardtack that had been purchased for a different conflict.

There were large stocks of hardtack in War Department warehouses dating from the end of the US Civil War 32 years previously.

Answer: breaking the cracker into soup or stew

The mild naval insult of "chowderhead" was intended as a clue. Soups, chowders and stews were common fare from shipboard galleys and field kitchens ashore. Breaking up the hardtack and adding it to the rest of the meal tended to make both cracker and soup more palatable, and adding crackers to soups and stews is still popular today. Again, hardtack was often hard enough to damage teeth (no fun now, but think of 18th Century dentistry) so just trying smaller bites was pointless. Sucking on it would work, but takes so long, you would go hungry.

The other technique used was to fry the hardtack in whatever fat was available, which reduced the cracker to a pleasantly crunchy state, and enhanced the bland flavor.

Answer: corned beef

The lumps of rock salt in the boil were called "corns" due to their size. Reuben was a reference to the Reuben sandwich which is corned beef based. Bologna is usually pork based. Chipped beef is dried and flaked, not boiled.
Putting pastrami on the list was mean of me. The recipe is nearly identical to corned beef,except for the heavy addition of peppercorns to the boil. "Bully beef" was originally shipped in barrels, but was one of the first foods to be tinned. The canning process was facilitated by grinding the beef and adding gelatin, a style of corned beef still found on grocery shelves.

Answer: cod

In today's world of electronic payment, Cash On Delivery (C.O.D.) is a thing of the past. None of the other fish create an old postal abbreviation, but they are all edible. Salt cod was once a giant industry in New England, but frozen fish dethroned salt cod in the 1940s. Salt cod began a bit of a resurgence in the 1990s as people re-discovered its excellent flavor and slightly chewy texture. Just rinse it first. Please.

Answer: It doesn't work, and can cause health issues

Saltpeter does not lower libido. Period. End of statement. The rumors likely began in pre-industrial, but firearm wielding, Europe. As a way of including the ladies in the war effort, the ladies were asked to collect the household's urine for processing into saltpeter (about 75% of black powder is saltpeter). Given the "feminine" source of the material, men believed it would weaken their virility if taken internally.

The fact that small amounts were added to salt to cure meats completed the picture.

In reality the bulk of the urine collected came from livestock. Rampant stallion, anyone? Consumption of potassium nitrate in quantity (like three times daily) can lead to debilitating headaches and even kidney damage, which is why the use of nitrates in food preservation is controversial.

Answer: cook everything thoroughly, very thoroughly

Particularly before the advent of modern food preservation methods, the tendency of all institutional cooks, not just military ones, was cook it until it was done, then cook it a bit more. Institutional memory being what it is, the tendency continues. Add to that the fact that the function of mess food is nutrition and not gustatory pleasure, and you get safety first, flavor a distant second. Salt used to be the favored way to preserve food, so the mess tended to be salty. That is changing. Fat remains an effective way to boost calorie delivery, so military food won't go low fat.

The boiled meat thing is simply a slander, although stews have always had a frequent presence at mess, since it's a very effective way to stretch rations.

Answer: "C" rations

"C" is for canned. Although the "C" ration went through at least four revisions in content and packaging, it remained largely unpopular due to lack of variety and the weight load it imposed on infantry because of the cans in a can package. The other frequently seen ration was the "K" designated as a survival ration.

It was subject to many of the same issues as the "C" ration, but a leaner ration and even less popular with field troops.

Answer: Meal Rejected by Ethiopia

Military black humor tends to be strong stuff, but like all black humor, it's a defensive mechanism used to create emotional distance from harsh facts. Sadly, the situation in the Horn of Africa remains desperate. At least the MRE's reputation has improved.

While it will never be mistaken for gourmet cuisine, the MRE now provides reasonable palatability and extended diet variety in lightweight, field functional form.

Answer: chicken cacciatore

Chicken cacciatore is the only answer in a red sauce. One suspects this is one of the more popular MREs, since "nasty" names are often given to favored foods to facilitate trading (generally with inexperienced new arrivals). I'm told by a retired sailor of my acquaintance, that the term has been recycled, and was once used for the chicken a la king served from base kitchens.

Answer: S.O.S.

This particular menu item may date all the way back to the days of hardtack, which did indeed have a shingle-like consistency. SOS is popular enough that retired service members in the US have opened "diner" style restaurants with it featured on the menu. I've even seen it in white table cloth places as "beef and gravy on toast points"! SOS is of course the famous Morse Code distress call. CQD was the predecessor to SOS. Mayday is the international voice radio distress call. Pan pan is for non-life threatening emergencies via voice radio.