#8 'Guards! Guards!': Welcome to the Watch Quiz

Answer: Captain

'Guards! Guards!' was the first of the City Watch books. Vimes ascended through the ranks as the series progressed, but he remained a captain throughout the novel. He had lost hope in his vocation as Lord Vetinari allowed criminals to rise to the top of society through the Thieves Guild.

Answer: Carrot

Carrot was raised by dwarves, even though he was a six-foot tall human. He had been adopted as a baby after his parents were killed. In 'Guards! Guards!', he set off for Ankh-Morpork to join the Watch, thinking it would be the start of a respectable career.

The new recruit lived by the pages of 'The Laws And Ordinances of The Cities of Ankh And Morpork', not realising that the book was outdated. His arrival (and his unabashed desire to follow the law to the letter) caused quite a stir in the city.

Answer: Corporal Nobbs

Corporal Nobbs was a former street urchin of indeterminate age. He was short, unclean, and an incessant smoker of dog-ends. When Carrot joined the watch, Nobby took him on patrol. He realised that the new recruit was a naive idealist who was keen to arrest anyone doing anything remotely illegal (which, in Ankh-Morpork, often included Corporal Nobbs).

After making numerous arrests - to the inconvenience of the rest of the Watch and their tiny jail - Carrot came to understand the nuances of being a member of the Watch in the Discworld's largest city.

However, he did complain that Nobby hadn't even shown him one rope.

Answer: Sergeant Fred Colon

Colon worked nights in the Watch and his wife worked during the day. Their working hours rarely overlapped so they wouldn't normally see each other at home. The sergeant would make his wife's tea before his shift started, and she would make his breakfast before heading to work in the morning.

The system had permitted them thirty years of married happiness. Vimes believed that their three children were the 'result of extremely persuasive handwriting'.

Answer: Lady Sybil Ramkin, dragon breeder

Lady Sybil Ramkin was a swamp dragon breeder. She lived in a grand, old house with a dragon pen outside. When the crime scene evidence pointed towards a dragon attack, Vimes consulted Sybil on larger breeds of the beast. She believed that dragon nobilis were 'all gone' - until one appeared in the sky.

Answer: The Librarian

The Librarian had been turned into an orangutan as a result of a magical accident in 'The Light Fantastic'. He enlisted the help of Carrot because a crime had been committed: a crime worse than murder. When the young watchman discovered that the Librarian was worried about a missing book, he was initially irritated. That was until he realised the book provided instructions to summon a dragon. Releasing Feral Creatures Upon the Streets was illegal.

Answer: Fabricati diem, pvnc

Sergeant Colon insisted that the motto translated to 'to protect and serve'. The Discworld was littered with Latin-esque phrases, many of them puns. 'Fabricati diem, pvnc' roughly translates to 'Make my day, punk'. The Watch House on Treacle Mine Road had once been grand, but in 'Guards! Guards!' was old and crumbling. Many of the uninhabitable sections were home to pests and vermin.

Answer: Lord Vetinari

Lord Vetinari was the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork and the man that Captain Vimes was supposed to report to concerning the dragon case. Things didn't quite go to plan when the Patrician was arrested. A long-lost heir to the throne had arrived and slain the dragon, so Vetinari was thrown into the dungeon. Vimes deduced that the dragon had been summoned using magic and confronted Lupine Wonse (formerly the Patrician's secretary).

The palace guards put Vimes in the dungeon, too. He found Vetinari living quite comfortably with an entourage of rat-servants.

Answer: Pseudopolis Yard

The Watch House on Treacle Mine Road burned down due to dragon activity. The old building was run-down any way, but with no money to spare, they couldn't afford anywhere new. Lady Sybil Ramkin gave Pseudopolis Yard, her childhood home, to Captain Vimes and the Night Watch. Given that it was a tavern, some members of the Watch might have enjoyed using The Mended Drum as a base, but they probably wouldn't have got much work done. The Watch continued to operate out of Pseudopolis Yard in later 'Discworld' books, too.

The name 'Pseudopolis Yard' is a play on 'pseudo-police' and 'Scotland Yard', London's police headquarters.

Answer: A kettle, a dartboard, and a small pay raise

After they had saved Ankh-Morpork from the power-hungry Lupine Wonse and the treasure-hungry dragon-king, the Patrician asked the members of the Watch what they wanted as a reward. Sergeant Colon was nudged forward. He suggested a monthly wage increase of five dollars. Then, after some whispering by Nobby and Carrot, he added a kettle and a dartboard.