Ancient Morporkian Trivia Quiz

Answer: How much is that doggy in the window?`

Introduced during the reign of King Ludwig the Tree.
Nobles claim it demonstrates a)the city's inquisitive spirit, b)their keen interest in merchantile matters, and c)their love of animals.
In truth, it was chosen because the other suggestions from the insane king were 'bduh bduh bduh' and 'I think I want my potty now'

Answer: Pure in mind and water.

Rather an ironic motto, given that the river Ankh can only be called water because it moves slightly faster than the surrounding land.
In fact, the only reason the Ankh runs through the city is because if it walked it would get mugged.

Answer: Don't fear the reaper.

"I wonder, is that really appropriate?" asks Mr. Teatime in Hogfather, given that the Grim Reaper in question is the grandfather of the current Duchess of Sto Helit.

Answer: The Patrician.

The actual motto is "Si Non Confectus Non Reficat".

Answer: To protect and serve.

But given that the Vimes family motto "Protego Et Servio" translates to the same thing, Colon may have been mistaken. Or lying.

Answer: Make my day, punk.

A phrase Sir Samuel Vimes would probably feel far more inclined to use.

Answer: It was a clue to a murder.

The phrase would have been translated to "Ars Enixia Est Candalam", and Dragon King of arms was subtly boasting about how he'd done it.

Answer: Because I knead the dough.

That's heraldry for you. Crossword clues and bad puns.

Answer: The right word.

As hinted at by the surname, the DeWordes, and William in particular, are very keen on words.
The Truth suggests that the English motto is 'The right word in the right place', however the given Latin phrase translates only to the first half of this.

Answer: Seize the throat.

"Carpe Jugulum", the title of the book the Magpyrs appear in, is also their family motto. Being vampires, they would of course go for the throat.

Answer: Who guards the guards themselves?

Or, to put it another way, who watches the Watch? Vimes' response is "We all watch each other".

Answer: Gladiators.

Before a fight, Gladiators would have to face the emperor's box (if he was present) and say "Ave Ceasar, Morituri te salutant" or "Hail Ceasar, we who are about to die salute you."
Rincewind's version, on the other hand, translates as "We who are about to die, don't want to."

Answer: Gamblers.

It means "Really out of luck".

Answer: Every man is a wolf to another man.

The Von Uberwalds, including COnstable Angua of the Watch, are werewolves.

Answer: No Worries.

It should be pointed out that The Last Continent, the majority of which is set of Fourecks, is not about Australia. Some parts are just slightly, well, Australian. Still, no worries eh?

Answer: Prince Khufura of Klatch.

Unseen University awarded the Prince a "Doctorum Adamus Cum Flabello Dulci" in Jingo.

Answer: This damn door sticks.

The full translation of the scene runs "This damn door sticks. It sticks no matter what I do. It says push and indeed I am pushing. Maybe it should be marked pull." It is nevertheless highly romantic, because the actual meaning isn't very important.

Answer: Eta Beta Pi.

To the food obsessed wizards, of course, this dreadful pun could almost be read as "Eat A Better Pie"
Just goes to show the sense of humour the average wizard has.

Answer: A man who was pushed into a river but ended up benefiting.

It translates as 'Pockets full of fish'. According to Mr. Slant in The Truth, it refers to a case where a man was pushed into a river, but the defendant succesfully pleaded that since the plaintiff had emerged from the river with a number of fish in his pockets, it had been to his net benefit.

Answer: You're dead as a doornail.

Pteppic was suffering from this in Pyramids. The complications were that he was still talking and moving.