She Even Woke Me Up To Say Goodbye Quiz

Answer: John Morgan

John Morgan (1959-2000) was born in Sunderland, Tyne and Wear. He studied at Cheltenham Art College and, before he became famous for his "Morgan's Manners" column, he had worked for the fashion consultant Percy Savage as well as "Gentlemen's Quarterly".

In the three years that his Saturday column ran in "The Times", he handled all sorts of problems. Could his book provide us with the right advice? Well, considering that he thought the path of least offence was the right direction for all tricky situations, it's likely that he would opt for a cowardly note on the pillow as being less offensive than waking a man from his slumber in order to tell him you're going!

Answer: Emily Post

Emily Post defined desirable conduct in every conceivable situation, from everyday situations to important life events. No event was too big or too small for her to detail the appropriate etiquette. The Emily Post Institute, Inc. continues her work, providing updated advice on manners and decorum for modern life and was formerly run by her great-great-granddaughter, Anna Post. Could any of her books provide us with the proper advice? Well, Ms Post was adamant about saying goodbye properly in a party situation, but a bedroom situation is vastly different. Considering that Ms Post was first and foremost concerned about a woman's 'decorum' and was no doubt aware of the possibility of violence in male-female relationships, it's likely that she, too, would opt for a cowardly note on the pillow as being safer than waking a man from his slumber in order to tell him you're going.

Answer: Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners For Every Occasion

As the former president of the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, Steven Petrow is primarily engaged in addressing gay and lesbian issues (as per his latest book, "Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners For Every Occasion") but he is also an expert on modern manners for all, gay or straight.

His "Civilities" column in "The Washington Post" always drums home the importance of being 'politically correct' - i.e. considerate and respectful - in all situations. That being the case, it is difficult to know - without posing the question to him - whether he would advise the departing lady to leave a cowardly note on the pillow or to wake up her man to say goodbye.

It is, after all, rather inconsiderate to wake up somebody from a deep sleep, isn't it?

Answer: Miss Manners

Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, was born in 1938 in Washington, D.C., and graduated from Wellesley College with a degree in English. She worked as a journalist and then as a theatre and film critic before undertaking the "Miss Manners" etiquette advice column in 1978.

Her advice column is distributed to more than two-hundred global newspapers and collections have also been published in books. Frankly, I would not ask Miss Manners for advice because she is admonishing, sarcastic, snobby (referring to herself in the third person) and incredibly rude. For instance, she insulted Star Wars fans by unfairly panning the movie "Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back" and believes that isolating and shunning people who do not conform to strict rules of etiquette is fit and proper behaviour.

Answer: Truthfulness, self-control and kindness

Written by Ptahhotep, a vizier in Egypt's Old Kingdom in the 3rd millennium BC, the maxims emphasised the virtues of truthfulness, self-control and kindness towards all. And, considering that he also extolled the virtue of avoiding open conflict wherever possible, it's likely that his maxims would tell us that leaving a note on the pillow is kinder, safer and more self-controlled than waking a man from his slumber in order to tell him you're leaving.

Answer: Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Philip Stanhope's "Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman" were published in 1774 by the widow of the son for whom they were written. They comprised over four-hundred letters which dated from about 1737 to the death of his son in 1768, and were mostly instructional. Stanhope believed that the mastery of etiquette was paramount for social advancement and, considering that he also extolled the virtue of restraint in all matters, it's likely that he would opt for a cowardly note on the pillow on the basis that it shows more restraint than waking a man from his slumber in order to tell him you're going. On the other hand, had Stanhope known that his four-hundred private letters would be published after his death, he may now wish to argue that face to face communication is more appropriate for personal matters than putting words onto paper that may be used as evidence against you - in which case he might advise the young lady to wake up her man before she leaves.

Answer: "Il Galateo"

A 16th century book by Baldassare Castiglione, "Il Cortegiano", codified the behaviour expectations of gentlemen (courtiers) in the Italian court - and remained in force until the early twentieth century - but it was Giovanni della Casa's book "Il Galateo" that Italians used for general etiquette. Along with the words etichetta or protocollo, galateo is still in general use for the word 'etiquette'. Considering that Giovanni della Casa, like all writers of etiquette in his day, was concerned with the behaviour of 'gentlemen' rather than 'gentlewomen' it's likely that he would not only dismiss the cowboy's question but also berate him for raising it in the first place.

A 'gentleman', you see, does not publicly criticise his relationships with women and whether she chose to wake him up to say goodbye, or left a note on his pillow, it was her prerogative and he should accept whatever she does in good grace.

Answer: Louis XIV

Louis XIV's Versailles extravaganza is a clear example of how etiquette can be used as a social weapon. In 1682 he moved his entire court and government from Paris to Versailles - twenty-five miles away - in order to awe his minions into submission. The highly codified system of court etiquette he devised was supported by a lavish court life of entertainment and ceremony that overcame any qualms anybody had about superficiality and snobbery. Considering that Louis XIV was only concerned with his own glory, it's doubtful whether he would bother with trite matters of boudoir etiquette for commoners because, let's face it, there were more woman trying to get into his bed than trying to get out of it. And this, perhaps, is the crux of the cowboy's dilemma. By waking him up to say goodbye, was his lady-love essentially rubbing his nose in his inadequacy?

Answer: The Spectator

The stated aim of "The Spectator" was to provide readers with ways in which they could render their 'moralisms' more witty and their witticisms more moral. Addison and Steele wanted to bring philosophy to the common coffee-houses and this meant giving readers advice on how to socialise and converse in a civilised manner.

This was, after all, the era of an upwardly mobile middle class trying to move into elite circles by adopting the standards of behaviour of those above them on the social ladder.

There was intense preoccupation with etiquette rules and particularly how to act courteously with women. Considering that "The Spectator" was a gentleman's magazine, how a woman behaved in the company of a gentleman was not its domain. In fact, Addison and Steele might argue that a gentleman was responsible for his lady's behaviour and such being the case whether she chose to wake him up to say goodbye, or left a note on his pillow, reflects more upon him than her.

Answer: The Irish Goodbye

Also known as the 'French exit' and 'Dutch leave' the 'Irish goodbye' could, according to an article on HubPages, have originated from the Irish Potato Famine of 1845 - 1852. It was a time of great sorrow when many Irish were forced to flee to America and, knowing that they would never see their families again, preferred to avoid protracted emotional goodbyes by just leaving without a word. Cowardly? Yes, but understandable in those trying times. Today, however, only somebody in a dangerous situation has the right to take leave without saying goodbye. Presuming that the cowboy and his ladylove once had a loving relationship, the 'Irish goodbye' is clearly inappropriate and while he may have preferred a note on the pillow, she did the right thing (in my humble opinion).