William the Conqueror Quiz for Experts | U.K. Royals

Answer: Thumped her

William, though heir to his father's lands, was illegitimate, something considered less than desirable then. There are two versions of his enraged reaction to Matilda's reply. One is that he rode from Normandy and found her on her way to church, where he pulled her off her horse by her long braids and threw her on the ground.

The other is that he rode to where she was living with her father, grabbed her by her braids, threw her to the ground and then thumped her. The foolish woman, who obviously suffered brain damage in this attack, then agreed to marry him.

Some say she did this in order to stop her father running our gallant lad through with his sword. Either way, I feel his name should be changed to William the Conk-her-er. Despite all this, it was a marriage of love and the couple had eleven children together.

After her death, the distraught William, devastated by her loss, became a very tyrannical ruler for the remainder of his life.

Answer: Stabbed the wrong child

William was the only male offspring of Robert I, the Duke of Normandy. Emma of Normandy, who was the wife of England's King Ethelred the Unready, was his grand aunt, and he was also connected to Canute, King of England, Denmark, Norway and part of Sweden - who was Emma's second husband.

His mother's ancestry is a little hazy. She was the daughter of Fulbert of Falaise who was from a family of either tanners, undertakers or embalmers. She was not married to William's father, hence the lifelong slur of illegitimacy against his name. Of this particular attempt of the several made on his life when he was small, William was asleep in the room with another child - and the murderer stabbed the other unfortunate little one by mistake.

Answer: Seven years

And the attempts on his life continued. Three of his guardians, in their attempts to defend him, were despatched by rivals for his lands. He was however supported by Kenry Henry I of France, and when he was aged 15, was knighted by that monarch. By the time William turned nineteen, aided by Henry, he finally gained full control of Normandy and had overcome all the many threats of rebellions and invasions against him.

The final battle against rebel Norman barons was at Caen in 1047, and in this he was also supported by the Catholic church.

Answer: Edward had promised it to him

Edward the Confessor had spent a great deal of his life in exile in Normandy during the Danish occupation of England. When William visited England later during Edward's subsequent rule as King of England, Edward promised William that the throne would be William's upon his death.

It was Edward's right as King to name his successor. In the meantime, William had previously rescued Harold who had been shipwrecked at Ponthieu and was being held prisoner by the Count of that area. After the rescue, William forced Harold to support his claim to the English throne by having him swear his allegiance to him.

It was later revealed that the box over which Harold had made this vow was full of holy relics, which made the vow even more binding. William had tricked Harold in this regard, failing to mention that small fact during the ceremony.

Answer: Harald

Harald of Norway invaded the north of England on 12 September 1066 and was met and defeated by Harold of England at the Battle of Stamford Bridge on 25th September. Meanwhile, William of Normandy (thank goodness his name wasn't Harold as well) landed in the south of England on 28th September.

The cunning of the man! King Harold was forced to quickly march his army all the way back down to that area and the two armies met at the Battle of Hastings on the 14th October, 1066 - and you know the result of that.

The tiny, much fought over island of England now had the Norman William the Conqueror as its ruler.

Answer: Christmas Day 1066

It took almost three months for Williams to subdue the rebellious English in the south of England, but by dint of a combination of bravery, ruthlessness and a fine army of men, he finally succeeded. Cutting a swathe through the countryside, he eventually reached Berkhamsted, where Edgar promptly relinguished the crown as quickly as possible, and the exhausted noblemen who had fought to bestow it upon him, finally surrendered completely.

Answer: Set fire to the neighbouring houses

As the fire outside spread quickly from house to house, smoke began to fill the Abbey, and the crowd inside began to panic. Jostling and shouting, they rushed to get outside - where some began to fight the fire, but others began to loot everything in sight. Of those who remained in the Abbey for the conclusion of the coronation, it was noted that William I of England, conqueror of that fair land, was seen to be visibly shaking. Perhaps it was out of fear, perhaps the opulence of the occasion has got to him and he was suffering stage fright, perhaps he was so angry he couldn't sit still - but I'm inclined to think, given the craziness of the entire situation, that he well may have been shaking with supressed laughter.

Answer: Salt

It took William almost six years to subdue the north but, after very many battles, this was finally accomplished in 1072. William's utter destruction of the land became known as The Harrying of the North. By the time he'd finished, even the Pope, who had always supported William, was protesting that the Normans were mistreating the English people. William reconciled with the religious authorities in Rome and in England, but from then on he was inclined to persecute the English church whenever, and however, and as far as he could, without invoking the wrath of Rome upon his head.

Answer: Robert's younger brothers tipped a chamber pot on his head

Robert was so enraged by the laughter and jokes that followed from the two boys, that he took to them both in what was fast turning into a battle royal, when William laughingly intervened. Robert's dignity was further wounded when William failed to punish the two boys.

The following day Robert attempted to seize the castle of Rouen in Normandy, failed at that, but then fled over much of the countryside, causing so much trouble wherever he went that William was put into the position of having to form an alliance with the King of France to stop his rebellious son.

The problem was made worse when it was discovered that William's wife (Robert's mother) was secretly sending him money to live upon - and then made worse still when Robert unhorsed his father in one of their many encounters. Finally, in 1080, with the efforts of the Queen, a truce was formed which lasted until her death in 1083. Talk about a storm in a chamberpot for this large, loving and laughing family! William died in 1087 and left Normandy to Robert, and England to his third son, William who became known as William II. To his fourth son Henry, who would go on to become Henry I of England, he left a substantial sum of money, earmarked to buy huge amounts of land.

His second son, Richard, predeceased his father. William also had at least five daughters, with some historical sources putting this number at six.

Answer: A pregnant woman

William's strength was such that he could pull back a bow and fire it while riding full gallop on a horse. If you've never drawn a bow, let me assure you that it's very difficult to do so standing on two feet, let alone astride a galloping steed. He was also at least two inches taller than the average male of the time, reaching 5' 10" in height.

His wife, Matilda, on the other hand, has been described as the shortest Queen in British history. On William's death, his body had swollen to such an extent after having been kept so long awaiting a royal funeral that it couldn't fit the sarcophagus properly.

The bishops present for this occasion tried to force it in by pressing down on the corpse's distended stomach, whereupon it promptly burst open, filling the church with a terrible odour. Perhaps then this mighty ruler should also be called King Pepe Le Pew?