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"The Fast Show" - Catchphrases Quiz

Many shows have catchphrases; the brilliant BBC sketch series "The Fast Show" had dozens of them! How many of these do you remember? (This show was broadcast as "Brilliant!" in the US)

A multiple-choice quiz by Mutchisman. Estimated time: 4 mins.

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Author
Mutchisman

Time
4 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
259,957

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Average

Avg Score
7 / 10

Plays
679

Awards
Top 5% quiz!

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. The "Channel 9" TV presenters always greeted their viewers with a cheery "Bono estente" but how did they usually sign off? Hint

Kofi Annan

Boutros Boutros-Ghali

U Thant

Ban Ki Moon

NEXT>

Question 2 of 10

2. The weather presenter on the "Channel 9" station had a pretty easy job as the climate hardly ever varied. Which word did Poula Fisch invariably use to describe the weather? Hint

Brrrrr

Coolio

Scorchio

Stormio

NEXT>

Question 3 of 10

3. When the 'absent-minded professor' type returned home, his wife would always ask him if he'd remembered to get various provisions. How did he always preface his response? Hint

"Well, the shop was closed so..."

"Even better than that..."

"Oh damn, I've forgotten the milk..."

"Wait 'til you see what I've got..."

4. My favourite "Fast Show" character is Rowley Birkin QC, who gives us hilarious, if completely nonsensical, monologues from his fireside. How does Rowley almost always finish his ramblings? Hint

"And that is how I ended up as a lawyer"

"You see, I had forgotten to take my tablets"

"I'm afraid I was very, very drunk."

"Things were very different in my day"

NEXT>

Question 5 of 10

5. Football pundit Ron Manager is fond of remembering which aspect of his childhood? Hint

Jumpers for goalposts

Newspapers for shinpads

Socks for footballs

Branches for corner flags

NEXT>

Question 6 of 10

6. If you are being told that this is "nice", then where are you? Hint

In the office

In the pub

In the Jazz Club

In the tailors' shop

NEXT>

Question 7 of 10

7. Jeff Harding would occasionally pop up in the show to play an upbeat American reporter. He never got much further than saying "Hi, I'm ___
___." Who was he? Hint

Fred Colt

Ed Winchester

Mike Magnum

Bill Springfield

NEXT>

Question 8 of 10

8. No matter what the occasion, Arabella Weir was only concerned with one thing; what was it? Hint

This won't make us late will it?

Does my bum look big in this?

Has my lipstick smudged?

Do you know how many calories there are in that?

NEXT>

Question 9 of 10

9. If you made the mistake of telling Archie, the pub bore, what you did for a living, how would he describe your job? Hint

A piece of cake

The toughest way to earn a crust

A cushy number

The hardest game in the world

NEXT>

Question 10 of 10

10. Which of these movie stars made the mistake of going into "suit you sir" Ken and Kenneth's tailors' shop? Hint

Jude Law

Will Smith

Tom Cruise

Johnny Depp

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Most Recent Scores

Oct 30 2024 : Guest 90: 10/10
Oct 27 2024 : Guest 82: 5/10

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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. The "Channel 9" TV presenters always greeted their viewers with a cheery "Bono estente" but how did they usually sign off?

Answer: Boutros Boutros-Ghali

Just what was that language that the "Channel 9" presenters used? A mixture of several European languages and manufactured words mixed with names of people and places; footballer "Chris Waddle!" was often thrown in at random. Boutros Boutros-Ghali was a former United Nations Secretary General, his name was used purely for its phonetic qualities.

2. The weather presenter on the "Channel 9" station had a pretty easy job as the climate hardly ever varied. Which word did Poula Fisch invariably use to describe the weather?

Answer: Scorchio

Poula Fisch (played by Caroline Aherne) almost always put huge stickers of the sun showing 45 (degrees C) on her weather map, "Scorchio" was her adjective of the day pretty much every day; however in one forecast a tiny cloud put in an appearance, poor Poula really couldn't cope with that!
"Scorchio" (based on tabloid newspapers' cliche, "What a Scorcher!") has now passed into common usage.

3. When the 'absent-minded professor' type returned home, his wife would always ask him if he'd remembered to get various provisions. How did he always preface his response?

Answer: "Even better than that..."

The lady of the house would send her nerdy husband (Mark Williams) to the shops to get some fairly mundane items; bread, milk that sort of thing. Unfortunately her husband had an eye for a 'bargain' and would always return delighted to have found some obscure objects which had little or no use whatever.

4. My favourite "Fast Show" character is Rowley Birkin QC, who gives us hilarious, if completely nonsensical, monologues from his fireside. How does Rowley almost always finish his ramblings?

Answer: "I'm afraid I was very, very drunk."

Most of the time Rowley Birkin (Paul Whitehouse) spouts complete gibberish but his facial expressions and dramatic non sequitur interjections are quite brilliant. The sketch where he impersonates a submarine's radar device is suberb.

5. Football pundit Ron Manager is fond of remembering which aspect of his childhood?

Answer: Jumpers for goalposts

"What do you think Ron?"
"Small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts, isn't it?"
It is possible to detect several football commentator's styles in Paul Whitehouse's brilliantly observed Ron Manager. Paul has often hinted that at least some of Ron's idiocyncracies are based on Alec Stock, ex-professional football player and manager.

6. If you are being told that this is "nice", then where are you?

Answer: In the Jazz Club

John Thomson plays Louis Balfour the 'oh so cool' presenter of "Jazz Club", where everything is "nice". Balfour is a gentle take on music presenters such as Bob Harris.
You might be unlucky enough to run into Archie in the pub who will bore you to death.
Keep well clear of Colin Hunt at work, a distinctly unfunny office joker.
Ken and Kenneth loiter with suggestive intent in the tailors' shop.

7. Jeff Harding would occasionally pop up in the show to play an upbeat American reporter. He never got much further than saying "Hi, I'm ___ ___." Who was he?

Answer: Ed Winchester

This was a running gag in the show; poor Ed Winchester never ever got to file his report, technical errors or some other problem always thwarted him.

8. No matter what the occasion, Arabella Weir was only concerned with one thing; what was it?

Answer: Does my bum look big in this?

From routine occasions to being stopped for speeding and even when being mugged, 'Insecure Woman' was only concerned with how her rear end looked.
Arabella Weir later used the catchphrase "Does My Bum Look Big in This?" as the title of her best-selling book.

9. If you made the mistake of telling Archie, the pub bore, what you did for a living, how would he describe your job?

Answer: The hardest game in the world

Archie was desperate to talk to people and always told them that he had done their job, whatever it was, "thirty years man and boy" so he knew how hard it was. From lorry driver to professional boxer and even being a priest, Archie had apparently done it all!

10. Which of these movie stars made the mistake of going into "suit you sir" Ken and Kenneth's tailors' shop?

Answer: Johnny Depp

Apparently Johnny Depp is a huge fan of the show and asked Paul Whitehouse if he could take part.
The story goes that Depp tried to use the "Fast Show" catchphrase "I'll get me coat" in the filming of "Pirates of the Caribbean" but unfortunately the scene was cut. He does, however, say at one point in the movie "...and then they made me their chief" to which all "Fast Show" fans would surely reply, "which was nice!"

Source: Author Mutchisman

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor gtho4 before going online.
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