Fractured Airlines I Have Known And (Not) Loved Quiz

Answer: Air France

Once upon a time, in a corner of the Internet far, far away, there was a domain name which was very rude to Air France. The domain name consisted of the words "Air France" followed by a certain verb. In a controversial ruling, the World Intellectual Property Organization transferred the domain name to Air France. What was so controversial about the ruling? The panelists couldn't agree what the rather rude verb really meant. Come on!

Answer: British Airways

That venerable British Airways, whose forerunner company, Aircraft Transport and Travel Limited, began the first daily international air service between London and Paris, is also notable for holding the 2007 Most Lost Luggage In Europe Award. BA lost 23 bags per 1,000 passengers (two worse than the runner-up, TAP Air Portugal).

As you stand waiting at the baggage carousel for suitcases that will never come, remember-- you have been warned.

Answer: Aeroflot

"Airplane" and "smoking"-- what image does that conjure up? For Aeroflot, both "smoking airplane" and "smoking on an airplane" could fit the bill. In 2001, Aeroflot successfully challenged the United States' smoking ban on all flights traveling to and from the US. That stinks, but, in 2002, Aeroflot made all its flights non-smoking.

As for smoking airplanes, in 2008, an Aeroflot passenger plane caught fire on a runway at Narita Airport. Happy travels.

Answer: KLM

KLM FAQs:

Q: So, what does the acronym KLM stand for, after all?
A: It means "Royal Aviation Company," but most English-speakers call it "Royal Dutch Airlines."
Q: Thanks, but, what do the letters actually stand for?
A: You don't want to know.
Q: Yes I do.
A: No, you don't.
Q: Come on! It can't be that bad!
A: "Koninklijke Luchtvaart Maatschappij"
Q: Oh.
A: Right.
Q: Any clue how to pronounce that?
A: No, but you might try the German translation, "Königliche Luftfahrtgesellschaft."

Answer: Qantas

Qantas (an acronym for "Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services") has had no fatal accidents since 1970, something to mull over as you watch CNN footage of the three emergency landings made by Qantas planes in just eight days (starting July 25, 2008) while you're waiting to board your next flight.

Answer: Emirates

Emirates has become one of the first airlines to operate those gargantuan, double-decker A380's. Wouldn't such a behemoth be a gas-guzzler, a Hummer among planes? No! Or so the Emirates spokespeople claim. It's cleaner than a hybrid car! "Emirates A380 is more fuel efficient per passenger kilometer than a small family car.

The A380 aircraft operated by Emirates offers fuel economy of 3.1 liters per 100 passenger kilometers, better than that of Toyota's Prius hybrid passenger vehicle, which uses 4.4 liters per 100 vehicle kilometers.

In gallons, the A380 uses 1.3 gallons per 100 passenger kilometers, as compared to 1.8 gallons per 100 passenger kilometers for the Toyota Prius."

Answer: Lufthansa

It was late July 2008, just days before I would be flying from Berlin back to the US, when I noticed news report after news report about Lufthansa workers going on strike. "Ah," I said to myself, "I am not flying Lufthansa. I'm safe!" Little did I know how wrong I was, as my flight was delayed 2 hours and all hell broke loose from there. Maybe I should have gone with Lufthansa-- it was voted Best Airline in Europe in the 2008 World Airline Awards.

Answer: Aer Lingus

Persistent internet trolling only rakes in the Top Predictable Airline News Stories for poor Aer Lingus, namely (1) losing money on rising fuel costs (2) teaming up with other airlines (3) new routes, strikes averted, the usual shtick, as well as that most persistent of all internet phenomenon, Outraged Gripes About Customer Disservice. Ah, well.

Answer: Alitalia

Pity poor Alitalia. Near bankruptcy for years, it's flying by the seat of its ripped pants. Literally. In a blog, one anonymous Alitalia steward described broken toilets, missing meals, a broken refrigerator, insufficient cutlery, partitions held together with tape, and, last but not least, waiting "nearly two months to have a pair of trousers mended, which had been torn by a not-completely screwed down screw on a jump seat."

Answer: American Airlines

20 years ago, American Airlines made history with its first cost-cutting move: one less olive per salad. In a different cost-cutting measure, David Phillips, a civil engineer at UC Davis, took advantage of Healthy Choice's special promotion offer of 1000 frequent flyer miles for every 10 Healthy Choice bar codes he could mail in by the end of the month by purchasing $3,150 worth of 25 cent chocolate pudding packages and redeeming them for 1,253,000 miles. Phillips posted 1,037,000 of those miles to his American Airlines account. That's less than $100 a ticket for 31 round-trips to Europe, or $75 a ticket if you consider the $815 tax write-off Phillips got for donating the pudding to charity. What a deal!