"My Dad Wrote a Porno" - Series 1 Quiz

Answer: Steeles Pots and Pans

The very first chapter sees Belinda through her erotic and unprofessional job interview with her future boss, Tony, for an £85,000/year job with a new car and travel perks included. Tony and his human resources manager, Bill, survey Belinda in more than one way before Tony's secretary, Giselle, comes along with the contract and an...erm...bonus encounter before the deal is done. Suffice to say, the pots and pans industry-- the sexiest of the industries-- is about to get even sexier...with business and leadership!

And so begins 'Belinda Blinked; 1 A modern story of sex, erotica and passion. How the sexiest sales girl in business earns her huge bonus by being the best at removing her high heels.' as written by Rocky Flintstone, with all of that punctuation intact. His son, Jamie Morton, reads the book with his friends Alice Levine and James Cooper. They both love and hate it.

Answer: Leather panels

Three weeks after Belinda's interview, she's invited into Tony's secret room, just off his office-- The Leather Room, which is filled with leather panels from floor to ceiling and is furnished with a single sophisticated drinks cabinet. Giselle and Tony both join Belinda in this chapter before the new hire excuses herself and runs into another colleague, Bella, who expresses the importance of wearing a thong with a straight line.

Jamie, James, and Alice all worry about this situation and whether or not Flintstone believes this is a real concern for thong-wearers. As they theorize, Bella is likely to become a more prominent character in later chapters. She does for all the wrong reasons as the cast fleshes out.

Answer: Southern England

A regional sales meeting brings Belinda face-to-face with her four underlings-- Des Martin of London, Dave Wilcox of the Western region, Patrick O'Hanlon of the Scottish and Island regions, and Ken Dewsbury of Central and Northern England. The meeting, and Belinda's business acumen, are examined in great detail before she brings them all to the Pentra Hotel at Heathrow (with Giselle and Bella, her 'glee team') for some awkward wet 'n' wild fun at the airport bar, an obviously public venue. The fun ends as quickly as it begins as the chapter closes.

The reading trio finds this to be one of the worst chapters of the book, dubbing it as such and urging fans to skip it at every opportunity despite the fact that, at one point, body parts are compared to 'hanging pomegranates' which, clearly, is not flattering whatsoever.

Answer: Three

For one of her first major assignments, Belinda is asked to attend a charity event with many backers, leading her to an evening at the Horse and Jockey wearing nothing more than her tennis clothes (sans bra and panties). Inevitably, Tony leads her to a maze wherein she's handcuffed to a trellis with red plastic handcuffs. And so begins her foray into the business workings of Steels Pots and Pans; she's met by three men, all only wearing black, leather thongs, and all of whom are potential investors in the company: Alphonse Stirbacker from Belgium (who's a voyeur), Jim Stirling from America (who's a bit gross), and Peter Rouse from Holland (who marks her with sexual symbols, binding her to him sexually for the next year.

He vows to meet her at the hotel at 11:30 that night for further business dealings.

Answer: The Duchess

After Belinda is freed from the maze she's instructed to head to the charity Tombola event for the Asses and Donkeys Trust without even getting a new change of clothes. Fortunately, her fellow Glee Team members, Giselle and Bella, are also there in a state of unkempt order. What they discover when the bidding begins though, is that they are the prizes for the event, and the bidders will be able to use them as personal servants for twelve hours. Bella is bought for £350 by Jim Stirling, Tony buys Giselle for £300, and Bella is sold off to a woman in a white linen suit and a Panama hat for £300.

She later finds out that this woman is none other than 'The Duchess'.

Answer: Horse box

Belinda, purchased from the Tombola by the Duchess, ends up getting washed down with a hose and placed into a horse box before being driven to a motel. After waiting for thirty minutes inside, she's led to a wet room and cleaned off by the Duchess, now wearing horse-riding gear instead of her white, linen suit.

The Duchess instructs Belinda to be her servant before the two of them enjoy gin and tonics and further foibles in a nearby motel room and, eventually, the Duchess is worn down into an almost narcoleptic coma. Belinda, seizing the opportunity, takes the time to handcuff the Duchess to the bed, steal her clothes (including sexy jodhpurs), remove the horse box from the back of the Duchess' car, and drive back to the Horse and jockey to meet Peter Rouse.

Answer: Youngish

Belinda follows the road signs back to the Horse and Jockey and makes it back just before dinner service ends at 8:20pm; the receptionist-- a youngish man behind the counter-- ends up complimenting her on her attire and Belinda believes it's just his way of flirting with her.

She's probably not wrong. After drinking a bottle of Chilean Chardonnay, she heads down to the lobby to grab another bottle and meet Peter Rouse who, thankfully, shows up on time at 11:30. The two discuss business deals while lewdly sitting in the lobby and, as a testament to Belinda's persuasive tactics, Rouse admits to having ordered three thousand units of Steeles' Oxy-Brillo range that afternoon.

They plan for a meeting in Amsterdam in a week before engaging in further activities, but Belinda notices a security camera in the corner of the room, potentially recording everything that's been going on in the lobby.

It doesn't bother her though; it's probably just the youngish man. Later on in the night, Belinda will have a scene with the youngish man when he delivers her room service.

Answer: He's married.

Belinda and Peter Rouse end up meeting in the lobby of the Horse and Jockey and they have a bit of a lewd reunion in front of the obnoxious security camera in the corner of the ceiling. It's also not really confirmed whether or not the youngish man is in the room with them, so that's weird. Either way, they retire to Belinda's room where Peter Rouse-- only after they spend about an hour together-- states that he needs to get back to his wife. Belinda doesn't seem to think much about this, instead discussing her trip to visit him in Amsterdam. He leaves shortly thereafter.

Oh yeah-- and the youngish man (later discovered to be named Sam) ends up visiting to deliver some Chilean chardonnay and turkey sandwiches at Belinda's request. It leads to an awkward, but reaffirming encounter for Belinda who, even in the heat of the moment, reflects on her mantras and business savviness. That is what it's all about, after all.

Answer: True

Belinda gets a few hours of sleep at the Horse and Jockey before her schedule kicks into high gear again, and before she needs to head to work for 9, she realizes that she needs to revisit the Duchess' motel room and free her from her handcuffs (and return her clothes). Belinda returns and wakes the Duchess up and when she does, the Duchess comes clean about everything. She was reluctant to purchase Belinda, but she plans to make everything right by offering to be Belinda's servant in return.

It's a weird moment where no one really comes clean about anything, but Belinda comes to the conclusion that the Tombola auction was rigged. Obviously. Because she, Giselle, and Bella were the only prizes up for grabs.

Answer: The Isle of Wight

Though the Duchess offers to be Belinda's slave, Belinda refuses the deal, instead asking that they be on an equal level in terms of respect. To cap off her "weird and strange weekend", Belinda ends up finishing up her time with the Duchess in one final, steamy scene in the motel room and asks for a ride back to her car.

They exchange emails and plan to reunite three weeks from then on the Isle of Wight (where the Duchess can introduce her to some acquaintances). She makes it back to the office at a respectable 9:30 and considers the schedule ahead of her. And that's about it.