Take My Wife...Please! Trivia Quiz

Answer: Mary Todd

Mary Todd Lincoln - 1818 to 1882 - my poor wife, was very mercurial, jealous, outspoken and unpredictable. She has been described variously as 'plain', 'plump', 'homely', a 'hellcat' and worse. She often exhibited poor judgment and was much bereaved by the death of our son, Willie, at an early age, and at the loss of other children.

She remained in mourning for me, Abraham, until January, 1866, and ten years later was committed to an asylum by another son, Todd.

Answer: Messalina and Agrippina

When I became emperor, my third 'marriage' was to Messalina, a not-so-distant relative! She was a nymphomaniac, and made a public spectacle of herself. When I realized what was going on I rid myself of her and her plotting minions. I begged the Praetorian Guard to kill me if I ever married again.
I was then pushed to marry Agrippina - my niece - another witch, who had me adopt her nasty son, Nero. I'm pretty sure she poisoned me with mushrooms. She got hers when Nero became emperor and dispensed with her! I only ruled from 41 to 54 A.D.
Any 'accidental' death or 'sudden and importunate' illness in my day was grounds for suspicion. I took many secrets to my grave.

Answer: Zelda Fitzgerald

Poor Zelda, she just lost it, and that caused a lot of financial problems for us, as I had to keep writing for periodicals to keep up our cash flow. My full name was Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald - 1896 to 1946. "The Great Gatsby", and "Tender is The Night" are but two of my works.

Answer: Katherine Parr

I finagled politics and people to get what I wanted. The union with Katherine of Aragon {wife number one} was simply a political ploy, and I maneuvered the church to grant me a divorce from her when I was beguiled by Anne Boleyn {2}; these two gave me daughters, Mary and Elizabeth respectively, but I wanted a son! Jane Seymour {3}, the real love of my life died less than two weeks after delivering a boy; who knows what might have happened if she had lived! Anne of Cleves' {4} portrait was deceptively pleasing, but once I saw 'the mare of Flanders' in person I just couldn't stay wed to her; instead I called her my 'beloved sister' - in absentia, of course. Katherine Howard {5} was promiscuous and met the same fate as Anne Boleyn - execution. Katherine Parr {6} was actually very helpful as she managed the accounts well and was quite experienced in affairs of state.

But I died before I could fully appreciate her.

Answer: Lot

Hellfire and brimstone, she just carried on about leaving all her stuff behind! We had to run to get away from Sodom, but not my wife, oh no! There she stands, a memorial to stubbornness. We were told by angels that they were sent to destroy the wicked city, unless we could find 50 righteous people in it; I bargained that down to 10, but, even those were not to be found. I believe the lesson here was to put aside earthly things when you obey a higher order. Don't look back!
The story is found in Genesis.

Answer: Potiphar

I later found out that Joseph had scorned her advances and that's what caused all the hullabaloo. Beware the wrath of a woman scorned! One of my servants said that my wife's name might have been Zuleika, but it matters nothing to me now. Joseph was sold to me by his jealous brothers and proved to be a worthy man.
The story is found in Genesis.

Answer: Bathsheba

I confess I had Uriah the Hittite killed so I could have Bathsheba to myself. When we married she did go on to become the mother of our son, Solomon, a man noted for his wisdom. I was King David, and had very many wives and well known descendants.

Answer: Jezebel

Poor Ahab! That Jezebel forced me to worship demons with her! My wife was killed by her next husband, Jehu, but she deserved it, being a follower of Baal and all. He actually defenestrated her, that is threw her out a window. She really went to the dogs, literally, in fulfillment of an old prophecy, of course.
They tore her to pieces.

Answer: Jocasta

I, Oedipus, ran away from home to avoid killing my dear father, except he wasn't my biological dad - the man who blocked my path was! I slew him on my way to a foreign kingdom. Well, turns out I met his widow there, and fell in love with her, so we were wed. Disaster! She was my mom, of course.

In a fit of remorse I blinded myself and became a beggar. Later, my daughter, Antigone, came along and helped me. I could have been an ordinary man, but nooooo, that wouldn't make a good story!

Answer: Helen

Menelaus here. Agamemnon was my brother, a fearless leader like myself, and both of us memorialized in the "Iliad", the story of the Trojan War. He sacrificed his daughter, Iphegenia, to placate the goddess Diana, and ensure us good weather. He was murdered by either his wife, Clytemnestra or her lover, Aegisthus, when he finally got home from the war. O, tempore, O mores! Oy, such troubled times!
I didn't have such a great time of it myself, losing my wife to Paris; okay he was younger, slimmer and more appealing according to some, but Helen was still MY wife! I was also the father of Electra and Orestes, but that's another complex story.
Electra was fond of wearing the latest fashions, such as the daring 'Freudian Slip'.