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Quiz about George Carlins Brain Droppings

George Carlin's "Brain Droppings" Quiz

In 1997, George Carlin (1937-2008) wrote "Brain Droppings," a New York Times bestseller and comedy classic, a compendium of his humor and satire. Take this quiz for the laughs. You'll get some! CAUTION: Contains some mildly raunchy language.

A multiple-choice quiz by snediger. Estimated time: 5 mins.

Author
snediger

Time
5 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
328,421

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Average

Avg Score
6 / 10

Plays
1270

Awards
Top 20% Quiz

Last 3 plays: Guest 24 (3/10), frinkzappa (2/10), MrSheen (0/10).

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. Carlin's fuming because he's standing in a slow-moving line at the supermarket. In front of him is "a guy who's buying a simple jar of spaghetti sauce [who] tries to pay with _______________." Can you complete this quip? Hint

Federal reserve notes

a stash of antique buttons

a letter of credit from the Bank of Liechtenstein

rocks from cave man days

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Question 2 of 10

2. Carlin was always puzzled by the restaurant sign that said "fish sandwich," because it was so general. He says: "I wouldn't order something called a 'meat sandwich,' would you? At least not without a few follow-up questions: Does anyone know where this meat came from? ________________________________?" Complete Carlin's questioning. Hint

On second thought, do you have a vegetarian platter?

Can everybody check their crotches, please?

Are any of the waitresses missing?

Do I have to phone home to see if Fluffy is still there?

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Question 3 of 10

3. Carlin on dating: He says, "always order your date's drink; that's very romantic."
What does he say you should say to the waiter? "____________________________." Hint

The lady will have a martini, a glass of wine, two zombies, and a beer. And do you have any Quaaludes?

Six martinis, right away. And a barf bag, just in case

Two pitchers of beer. Each. And two bibs

A boilermaker. For the lady. For me, I'll have your best Shirley Temple

NEXT>

Question 4 of 10

4. "Brain Droppings" tells us Carlin was a native New Yorker and lived there for three decades. Then, he "had enough of life in a dynamic, sophisticated city," so he moved. To where did he move? Hint

Canada, the great white north

Chicago, Illinois

Los Angeles, California

Atlanta, Georgia

NEXT>

Question 5 of 10

5. Carlin said he gave up on religion, and took to worshipping the sun. He says: [The sun] "is there for me every day...it brings me heat, light, food, a lovely day...no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up...And, interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to "God" are ______________________________." Can you complete this sentence? Hint

answered more quickly if I iron my jeans

for the same dumb things anyway

answered at about the same fifty-percent rate

as effective as the ones I used to offer to Baal

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Question 6 of 10

6. Under "Things You Never See," Carlin lists "someone defecating in church, two homosexuals who own a bait shop, condoms with pictures of the saints and a bum_______________________________." Complete Carlin's observation. Hint

with matching luggage

who plays the kazoo for cash

with spats and no shoes

practicing yoga

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Question 7 of 10

7. On America: Carlin says, "where ideas are concerned, America can be counted on to do one of two things: take a good idea and run it completely into the ground, or__________________________." Can you complete Carlin's statement? Hint

go to bed early because their favorite dream starts at nine

take a bad idea and run it completely into the ground

never have an idea. It's too much work

play full-contact patticake while coloring

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Question 8 of 10

8. Carlin tells us about his mom and dad in "Brain Droppings," and I suspect he's kidding about this. I hope. He says his mom "reminds him of Charles Kuralt" and that "[e]very Sunday after church, my mother and I would buy the Sunday papers and walk home together. Then_______________________________." What did his mom do? Hint

She'd play tiddley-winks with manhole covers

She'd get drunk and try to make pancakes

She'd get extremely agitated over insects that only she could see

I'd have to drag her home. She got "the vapors." A lot.

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Question 9 of 10

9. Carlin says he misses the innocence of childhood. What is it he misses the MOST about childhood? Hint

Riding piggyback

Wishing he could live longer than Jesus

Sculpting with dog feces

Listening to the circus on the radio

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Question 10 of 10

10. One time in school, Carlin said he got busted for lying. When the teacher asked him why he was late that day, Carlin told him it was because he "had to iron his own shirt." When asked why, what did Carlin offer as an excuse? Hint

"His parents had been strangled by a telephone lineman"

"He had been attacked by a swarm of pigeons."

"His house caught fire and he had to rescue everybody."

"He got outraged at the suffering in the world and spilled his cereal."

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Most Recent Scores

Nov 17 2024 : Guest 24: 3/10
Oct 22 2024 : frinkzappa: 2/10
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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

Answer: a letter of credit from the Bank of Liechtenstein

An essential part of Carlin's humor is his impatience with the slow and the dumb. Here's another gem: "And what about these cretins at the airport gift shop who think somehow they're in the Mall of America?...I gotta get to my plane. Why does the genetic defective ahead of me choose this moment to purchase a complete set of dishes and a new fall wardrobe? ...And now [the guy] wants to know [if he can pay with] Turkish traveler's checks."

Answer: Are any of the waitresses missing?

Food and eating are a big part of Carlin's schtick. Some of Carlin's commentary on food and pretension: "I don't like trendy food. When I hear 'sauteed boneless panda groin,' I know I'm in the wrong place. Puree of woodchuck, marinated bat nipples...toasted snail penises...wombat souvlaki...or fried eagle.

A guy said to me recently, 'C'mon, we'll go to Baxter's, they have really great fried eagle.' I'm thinkin' to myself, 'Do I really want to know this guy?'"

3. Carlin on dating: He says, "always order your date's drink; that's very romantic." What does he say you should say to the waiter? "____________________________."

Answer: The lady will have a martini, a glass of wine, two zombies, and a beer. And do you have any Quaaludes?

If we followed Carlin's advice, we could be real hell on the serving staff. One of his ideas on what to tell the waiter when he brings you your food: "I've changed my mind, waiter. Instead of the roast suckling pig, I'll have a half order of Kellogg's Product 19." Also, "Keep the waiter going on the pepper mill for a long time. Disturbingly long...then, when your food and silverware are completely covered with...pepper, say 'OK, stop! That's perfect.' Then, a few minutes later, call the waiter over and tell him, 'This food has way too much pepper on it.'"

4. "Brain Droppings" tells us Carlin was a native New Yorker and lived there for three decades. Then, he "had enough of life in a dynamic, sophisticated city," so he moved. To where did he move?

Answer: Los Angeles, California

Carlin said "the Midwest seems like a nice place to catch up on your sleep." The South has "too much respect for authority; they're soldier-sniffers and cop-lovers." He didn't have too much to say about Canada, but had a few pithy comments about the Left Coast. California is "a goofy place..."

Answer: answered at about the same fifty-percent rate

Carlin never had that much respect for religion. He remarked "the only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music." He never would have tried to "iron his jeans," to please his God as "guys with creases in their jeans" he could always do without.

As well as... "any man who wears a suit and tie to a ballgame, people who give their genitals a name, guys who can juggle, but only a little bit, and athletes and coaches who give more than a hundred-percent."

Answer: with matching luggage

He also says you never see "a butterfly with a swastika design, a mom-and-pop steel mill, and a junkie with leisure time."

Answer: take a bad idea and run it completely into the ground

Carlin was no fan of American intelligence, culture or capitalism. He also quipped: "the reason they call it the American dream is you have to be asleep to believe it." Also: "Only Americans could find as a prime means of self-expression the wave and the high five."

Answer: She'd get drunk and try to make pancakes

He said his father used to throw him so far up in the air, he could see "Sri Lanka [which] "at the time, of course,...was still called Ceylon." Then his father would walk away.

9. Carlin says he misses the innocence of childhood. What is it he misses the MOST about childhood?

Answer: Riding piggyback

Carlin expounds on that idea: "I still like to ride piggyback occasionally...and I don't mean across the room. I'm talking about long trips. I went to Florida last winter. Piggyback. Fortunately, I have very indulgent friends. And I pay top dollar."

Answer: "His parents had been strangled by a telephone lineman"

Carlin and the concept of school never really meshed. He didn't fit in, certainly not with the teachers and not really with the kids. One day, while being silly in class, the teacher challenged him: "Mr. Carlin, you can either take responsibility and learn this material or you can continue to act silly." Carlin tells us, "Well, that was all I needed to hear." The tough kids, talking about George, would say, "He can't dish it out and he can't take it, either."

Source: Author snediger

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