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Joe Miller's Joke Book Trivia Quiz

Here are ten jokes from "Joe Miller's Joke Book", circa 1739. The jokes have been slightly up-dated. You need to select the original punch line. These were compiled by a hack writer of the time John Mottley.

A multiple-choice quiz by Rehaberpro. Estimated time: 5 mins.

Author
Rehaberpro

Time
5 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
320,470

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Average

Avg Score
7 / 10

Plays
765

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. Joke:199 Two brothers were to be executed for a enormous crime; the older was hanged first without saying one word. The other began to harangue the crowd who were expecting a confession from him, "Good people", says he, "My brother hangs before me and you see what a lamentable spectacle he makes; I shall be hanged too...

Hint

and then you'll see a pair of spectacles."

and you'll have two of a kind."

and you'll see a pair of dead beats."

and you'll see a pair of stiffs."

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Question 2 of 10

2. Joke:234 A Mathematics teacher had been married without being able to get his wife with child. One said to her "Madam, your husband is an excellent Arithmetician'. "Yes", replies she,...

Hint

"Only he adds too much".

"Only he can't multiply."

"But he could learn from a rabbit"

"Only he seems undivided."

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Question 3 of 10

3. Joke:153 A gentleman said of a young lady, who was known by the lawyers of the town, that if she had as much law in her head, as she had had in her tail...

Hint

she could save every man from the gallows.

she would fill the law library.

she would be the ablest counsel in England.

she could be a professor.

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Question 4 of 10

4. Joke:69 When Cromwell first coined his money, an old cavalier looking upon on the sides of the new pieces, read the inscriptions. On one side was God
With Us, on the other, The Commonwealth of England. "I see", said he,... Hint

"But I am not sure which Cromwell favors."

"God and the Commonwealth are on different sides."

"But which is which, heads or tails?"

"But Cromwell says they are the same."

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Question 5 of 10

5. Joke:42 A gentleman lent money to a person whose promises he had not much faith. He was very much surprised to find he punctually kept his word with him. The same gentleman later was desirous of borrowing the like sum. "No," said the other, "you have deceived me once,

Hint

ask the Devil. He will not disappoint."

if that be your game."

and I am resolved you shan't do it a second time."

my purse be as empty as your promises."

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Question 6 of 10

6. Joke:58 A gentleman coming to an inn in Smithfield, and seeing the hostler expert with horses, asked, "How long had you lived here and where are you from?" "I'm a Yorkshire," said the fellow, "and I've lived here sixteen years". "I wonder," replied the gentleman, "that in so long a time, so clever a fellow as you seem to be, have not come to be master of the inn yourself?" "Ay," said the Hostler,...

Hint

"but I would need to return to Yorkshire."

"but master's a Yorkshire too."

"I'd have to marry master's most uncomely daughter"

"But clever is as clever does."

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Question 7 of 10

7. Joke:32 A clergyman was preaching exceedingly dully to a congregation not used to him. Many of them slunk out of the church one after another, before the sermon was ended. "Truly," said a gentleman present, "this learned doctor ...

Hint

sent them home to pray."

had a moving discourse."

pointed out their sins and they were abashed."

got them home for the milking."

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Question 8 of 10

8. Joke:99 A lady's age happened to be questioned. She affirmed she was but forty, and called upon a gentleman for his opinion. "Sir", said she, do you believe me when I say I am but forty? "I ought not to dispute it, Madam," replied he,...

Hint

"You never lie unless it serves your purpose."

"And your younger sister be only fifty."

"for I have heard you say so these last ten years."

"but your counting be marred."

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Question 9 of 10

9. Joke:217 The Lord Dorset asked a Bishop, why he conferred Orders on so many blockheads. "Oh, my Lord," says he, "'tis better the ground should be plowed by asses...

Hint

than by the politicians."

than by the Lords."

than lie quite untilled."

than by the merchants."

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Question 10 of 10

10. Joke:148 Somebody asked Lord Bacon what he thought of poets. "Why," said he, "I think them the very best writers... Hint

next to illiterates."

next to those who write in prose."

next to the Prime Minister."

next to the good Bishop."

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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

Answer: and then you'll see a pair of spectacles."

Joe Miller was an English actor who was born 1684 and died 1738.

2. Joke:234 A Mathematics teacher had been married without being able to get his wife with child. One said to her "Madam, your husband is an excellent Arithmetician'. "Yes", replies she,...

Answer: "Only he can't multiply."

Joe Miller's favorite roles were the gravedigger in "Hamlet", Trincula in "The Tempest", and Marplot in "The Busybody"

3. Joke:153 A gentleman said of a young lady, who was known by the lawyers of the town, that if she had as much law in her head, as she had had in her tail...

Answer: she would be the ablest counsel in England.

John Mottley (1692-1750) after Miller's death put together a collection of his jokes although only three are directly attributed to Miller.

4. Joke:69 When Cromwell first coined his money, an old cavalier looking upon on the sides of the new pieces, read the inscriptions. On one side was God With Us, on the other, The Commonwealth of England. "I see", said he,...

Answer: "God and the Commonwealth are on different sides."

The original name was "Joe Miller's Jest or Wits Vade-Mecom", later shortened in new editions to "Joe Miller's Joke Book".

Answer: and I am resolved you shan't do it a second time."

The original edition was a thin pamphlet consisting of 247 numbered jokes.

Answer: "but master's a Yorkshire too."

"Joe Miller" has entered into language to describe a hackneyed pun, a bad jest, or corny humor.

Answer: had a moving discourse."

A publisher named Read hired an unsuccessful writer, John Mottley, to write a compilation of jokes. Joe Miller's name was attached as an after thought.

Answer: "for I have heard you say so these last ten years."

Joe Miller, himself, was illiterate.

9. Joke:217 The Lord Dorset asked a Bishop, why he conferred Orders on so many blockheads. "Oh, my Lord," says he, "'tis better the ground should be plowed by asses...

Answer: than lie quite untilled."

A portion of the proceeds were donated to the Miller family as he died penniless.

10. Joke:148 Somebody asked Lord Bacon what he thought of poets. "Why," said he, "I think them the very best writers...

Answer: next to those who write in prose."

As years passed the number of jokes expanded from 267 to as many as 1500, depending on the era and tastes of the time.

Source: Author Rehaberpro

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor LadyCaitriona before going online.
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