'M*A*S*H' Music Trivia Quiz

Answer: My Blue Heaven

Of course, the old favorite...at least on the television show 'M*A*S*H'. This song appears a number of times throughout the series (I'll pay anyone who can give me an accurate figure as to how many!), almost the second theme song for the show, if you will. Hawkeye hums 'My Blue Heaven' when he cuts his 'liver' in the episode 'Bananas, Crackers and Nuts' and of course there is Margaret's performance in 'Dear Dad, Again' (yikes!)

Answer: Johnny Mandel

John Alfred Mandel, born November 23, 1925, in New York City, is a well-known jazz trombonist and songwriter who worked with such luminaries as Jimmy Dorsey, Count Basie and Artie Shaw, writing songs for these jazz greats. Aside from the M*A*S*H theme, other songs written by Mandel include 'The Shadow of Your Smile' and 'A Time for Love'.

He also did some movie scores, for example on the film 'Being There'. Interestingly, the lyrics to this fine song were written by Mike Altman, the movie director Robert Altman's son.

He was only 14 years old when he wrote these quite profound words!

Answer: True

As surprising as that might sound, the lyrics were never played over the opening credits. Perhaps the theme of the song was too controversial? Anyhow, the lyrics were performed on the movie version of the theme, here's the opening verse and refrain:

'Through early morning fog I see, visions of the things to be, the pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see... [Refrain]: That suicide is painless, It brings on many changes, and I can take or leave it if I please.'

Answer: Captain Spalding

Captain Spalding, with guitar in hand, entertained us for several episodes in the third season, quite a novel idea for a sitcom I must say! Along with his songs about nurses and General MacArthur, he also composed 'North Korean Blues', which goes:

'Oh Tokyo, They got some saki, and sashimi, and some clean sheets, Oh, kimono, oh, kimono, Tokyo's the town that I love the best, East may be East, and West may be West, Forget about between, it'll drive you insane, And teach you things you never knew before.'

Wish they had kept him around!

Answer: Iron Guts Kelly

Can you imagine Wainwright serenading Brigadier General 'Iron Guts Kelly? Well...actually no one is serenading him any more thanks to Margaret! Aside from his three appearances on 'M*A*S*H' as Captain Calvin Spalding, Wainwright is quite an accomplished musician, even garnering two Grammy nominations for his albums 'I'm Alright' and 'More Love Songs'.

Answer: Mississippi Mud

A song written in 1927 by Cavanaugh and Barris, it lost none of its flavor and fun with Morgan's performance. First requesting 'a number' from one of the officers at the hearing, Morgan proceeds to dance and sing the lyrics to 'Mississippi Mud'. This nutty performance helped secure Morgan's job as Colonel Potter, beginning in the fourth season!

Answer: The Caissons Go Rolling Along

The first several lines of this very familiar song go:

'Over hill, over dale, As we hit the dusty trail, And the Caissons go rolling along.'

Have you ever wondered what a 'caisson' is? In this case it's a two-wheeled cart, pulled by a horse, that carries ammunition...quite obsolete in modern warfare!

Answer: Long, Long Trail

Most 'M*A*S*H' fans are relieved to find that, after the departure of Colonel Blake and Trapper, two likable new individuals are there to fill in their shoes, namely Potter and B.J. We are reassured by the comaraderie these three exhibit while they sing the words, 'There's a long, long night of waiting, Until my dreams all come true, Til the day when I'll be going down that long, long trail with you.'

Answer: Father Mulcahy

First comes Father Mulcahy, whose verse goes, 'A chaplain in the Army has a collar on his neck, if you don't listen to him you'll all wind up in heck.' Every verse is followed by the chorus, 'Oh I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home!'

Answer: Chopper pilots

The four nurses who perform this verse are stranded because of their ride, so they join the rest of the camp in watching Potter's favorite movie 'My Darling Clementine'. The nurses' verse goes, 'The surgeons in the Army, they're bright, they are profound, but we'll take chopper pilots they'll get you off the ground.'

Answer: Frank

My two favorite verses are Klinger's, which goes, 'Oh some guys like the Army I think that it's a mess, if it's so damn terrific how come I wear a dress?' and Frank's lame but hilarious attempt, which comes well after the song has died down. Frank's lyrics are as follows:

'Oh Hawkeye and oh B.J., they think they're pretty smart, I'd like to take a scalpel and stab them in the heart.'

He also sings the chorus, by himself...but his singing dies down when he notices that the rest of the camp is not participating in his generous offering.

Answer: Keep the Home Fires Burning

The song 'Tennessee Waltz' is sung by the entire camp, while Margaret performs 'C'est Magnifique' during one of the many breaks that occur while they watch 'My Darling Clementine'. The doctors and nurses also sing the song 'Clementine' while they perform surgery in the OR.

The song 'Keep the Home Fires Burning' is performed in the year six episode called 'War of Nerves' while the camp stands around a bonfire they have built.

Answer: Christian Soldiers

Father Mulcahy's first tune is a bit more cheery than the second, it goes:

'Oh my dear, I can't wait to see ya, But I'm here in South Korea. The picture you sent was quite an eyeful, I taped it to my trusty rifle.'

Not feeling satisfied with this attempt, he forges on with another song which he hopes will better capture the feeling of war. Here's the second song:

'There's no one singing war songs now like people used to do, No 'Over There,' no 'Praise the Lord,' no 'Glory Hallelu.' Perhaps at last we've asked ourselves what we should have asked before, with the pain and death this madness brings, what were we ever singing for?'

Hawkeye's response to the second version....'Amen.'

Answer: Ravel

Winchester is able to convince the young man that, though his career as a concert pianist may be over, he still will find a use for his life. The piano piece was specifically written for a soldier who lost a hand during World War I by the French composer Maurice Ravel, who composed the famous 'Bolero', among other works.

Answer: Mozart

The 'String Quintet' performed by the five musicians, some using Chinese instruments, is bittersweet for Charles. He later discovers that the five men have been killed in an auto accident. I hope you have enjoyed this quiz...I encourage you to try some of my other 'M*A*S*H' quizzes if this one appealed to you. Thank you for playing!