"South Park" - "Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty..." Quiz

Answer: 3

The kids wonder what's wrong with Cartman, since "it's like the third day in a row" that Cartman hasn't shown up for school. Stan says that maybe they should go and check on their friend, so they don't get on the school bus and head to Cartman's house.

Answer: Tea

Cartman is having a tea party with dolls and stuffed animals, which is especially rare considering Cartman's personality and attitude. Kyle suggests to make fun of him, but Stan suggests to get help.

Answer: Craig

Mr. Mackey isn't surprised by the fact that something's wrong with Cartman, so Mr. Mackey thinks he is suffering from emotional distress. Mr. Mackey tells the boys to videotape Cartman, so he can psychologically analyze him. When Stan asks if that's legal, the counselor replies with "hell yes".

The student waiting outside the office is Craig Tucker, a boy who is constantly seen there.

Answer: At the Annual Drunken Barn Dance

Liane met Cartman's dad at the 12th Annual Drunken Barn Dance, where younger versions of many characters can be seen, such as Officer Barbrady, who at the time wore a t-shirt that read "police trainee". Liane then says she saw a Native American man called Chief Running Water, but she doesn't remember what happened the rest of the night, what she does remember is that she was pregnant the next morning.

Answer: Not Without My Anus

In the advertisement, Terrance says he has to go to Iraq and find his kidnapped daughter, and Phillip says that he'll go with him, and then they fart and laugh. That fictional HBC special actually aired as the first episode of the second season of "South Park".

Answer: Bob Saget

The show features Bob Saget making apparently unfunny jokes, such as "why didn't the skeleton cross the road? 'Cause he didn't have the guts." Bob Saget is an actor an T.V. host, known for his role in "Full House" as Danny Tanner. He was also the host of "America's Funniest Home Videos", hence the "South Park" parody.

Cartman then shows up at Stan's house, dressed like a Native American, and asks for Stan's bike to go to the reservation and meet his father. He also calls himself Eric Running Water. The kids see Bob Saget offering $10,000 dollars for the best stupid home video, and they immediately think of the video of Cartman having his tea party.

Answer: Bear with wide canyon

The Chief laughs when he hears that it's Liane they're talking about, since he describes her as someone who likes to have sex often, and refers to her as "bear with wide canyon" and "doe who cannot keep legs together". He says it's possible that she doesn't remember what happened that night because of how drunk she was, but he says that when they were about to kiss, Liane saw Chef, who was new in town, and went to him, asking "would you care to out your tongue in my mouth?"

Answer: A train

This time, Kenny died after being run over by a train. The children were testing a go-kart, trying to make it work, as it didn't move. However, as Kenny tried to fix it, the go-kart suddenly started moving very fast, dragging Kenny all over the snow. After it stops, Kenny waves and says he's ok, but almost immediately afterwards a train runs over him.

In the meantime, Cartman goes to Chef's house. Chef tells the boy that tongue kisses can't get a woman pregnant, and then sings a song about making love and having children.

Answer: Halfy

Uncle Jimbo says Mr. Garrison couldn't be Eric's father because he is gay. While denying this, Mr. Garrison admits he had sex with Ms. Cartman, but then asks the people in the bar who hasn't, and there is a stunning silence. Halfy, who is an amputee, says he hasn't, but Mr. Garrison tells him "you don't count Halfy, you don't have any legs".

Answer: Grandpa Marsh

The tea party video loses to Kenny being hit by a train, and it turns out that Grandpa Marvin, Stan's grandpa, was the author of that video. The runners-up get a $3000 prize though, which is enough for Cartman's DNA testing. Cartman, who is red in anger because his friends filmed him having his tea party, decides to go to Mr. Mephesto to find out who his father is.

Mephesto narrows down the options to Officer Barbrady, Chef, Uncle Jimbo, Mr. Garrison, Ned, Chief Running Water, Gerald Broflovski, Kevin (Mephesto's friend), the 1989 Denver Broncos team, and Mephesto himself. As Mephesto opens the envelope with the results, he says Cartman's father is in fact in the room, but the question is left unanswered, and viewers are encouraged to tune to "South Park" in four weeks.