"What Does Mama Say?" Trivia Trivia Quiz

Answer: "Only dirty people play cards."

We find this out in the skit: "Stuart Gets Lost" when we are first introduced to Doreen and Stuart. Doreen has to pick Stuart up at the police station and Stuart's in the backroom with police officers playing cards when she calls him.

Answer: "Shoplifters are dirty people with dirty hands."

We also find this out in the skit: "Stuart Gets Lost" when Doreen finds out Stuart was picked up by the police for stealing a blue speedo.

Answer: "Vain little boys often grow up to be homosexual."

We hear this when Stuart attended his Aunt Colleen's wedding. Colleen comments Stuart on how handsome he is, and he replies, "Yes, I'm very handsome."

Answer: "Fast food gives you a fast death."

Stuart explained this in the first of the two-part skit: "Stuart Gets Kidnapped". Stuart wanted fast food for lunch, but Doreen disagreed, so Stuart locked himself in her car and when she went to get a wooden spoon to spank him with, he ran away.

Answer: White trash

This was mentioned in the second part of "Stuart Gets Kidnapped" when Stuart told his mother over the phone that he was smoking a cigarette.
Doreen: "What does Mama say about smoking?"
Stuart: "Smoking is for Europeans and white trash."
Doreen: "That's right! Now you put out that ciggy!"

Answer: "Little boys who lie should expect tragedy to visit them on a regular basis."

Stuart explained this one when he got a visit from the tooth fairy, who was played by Susan Sarandon. Stuart told Doreen he was up past his bedtime because of the tooth fairy, but Doreen didn't believe him because she couldn't see the tooth fairy.

Answer: "Little boys who aren't polite give the Pro-Choice Movement a reason to exist."

This was said in the "Birthday" sketch when Stuart demanded his present. His present was an adult sized bike, which his aunts and uncles all chipped in to buy, since his father left Doreen financially high and dry.
Doreen: "So what do you have to say?"
Stuart: "I hate daddy?"

Answer: Devastating

Stuart: "Is that why you tell everyone you're 35 even though you're really 47? She also has to wear a special type of pantyhose with a control top to hold in her belly from her Cesarian scar, and she also has a dead toenail that you can't clip off without a mechanical device."
Doreen: "Stuart!"
Stuart: "The truth is devastating."

Stuart announced all of Doreen's secrets in front of her visiting friends. In a way, it was payback for Doreen telling them a secret about Stuart having an accident after she promised not to tell.

Answer: "Taquitos go in one end and they explode out the other."

This was explained after Stuart told her he found a taquito in the dugout when he took up teeball. Even after Doreen's warning about it, Stuart shoved the entire taquito into his mouth, as he does with most other foods.

Answer: "Be nice to Grandpa or no pool."

Doreen: "Stuart, say 'hi' to Grandpa."
Stuart: "But Grandpa can't walk."
Doreen: "That's right, so go over to him. Bring him a beer."
Stuart: "I don't have time, I'm going swimming."
Doreen: "Stuart, what does Mama say about Grandpa?"
Stuart: "That he's an alcoholic?"
Doreen: "No, I told you at the store. I said 'be nice to Grandpa or no pool!"

Answer: "Men are liars."

Stuart answered this one in the skit where he took a piano lesson. Even though he wasn't allowed to eat Ho-Hos, he got his hands on one, and when Doreen demanded to know where he'd gotten it from, Stuart's answer was, "It was a gift from Uncle Frrfrfrrrr".

Answer: Mother

Stuart: "Little boys who are racist learn to be racist from their mother."
Doreen: "That's right...Stuart I have never said anything racist in front of you."
Stuart: "You said that Canadians are wussies, and that black people don't look scary if they keep their hair neat."
Doreen: "Allright that's enough." 'Stuart: "The French are smelly and they can't fight."
Doreen: "Allright Stuart, that's enough."
Stuart: "Oh and you said that the Chinese were ugly."

This was all said while they were in a Chinese restaurant.

Answer: Both of these

"A greedy boy will never be cradled in the arms of Jesus," was said in the skit where Stuart fell down a well because he found pennies. "Greedy boys get killed in their sleep," was said in the skit, "Stuart's Bright Shiny Lucky Day" when he demanded a balloon of every color.

Answer: "When little boys whine, it's like saying to the kidnappers, 'Take me first.'"

This is said in the skit: "Stuart Visits His Father". Stuart was supposed to visit his father for the weekend at his beach house. Doreen demanded to see Stuart's bathing suit (which he was wearing), despite his claim of being too shy. When she made him come out so she could see he suit, he whined as he went over to her.

Answer: "Little boys who talk dirty grow up to be Democrats."

This was also said in the skit, "Stuart Visits His Father". Doreen said that Stuart needed a male influence since he became too big for her to discipline.

Doreen: "Remember what happened the last time I tried to spank you?" Stuart: "You broke a wooden spoon on my smelly slot." Doreen: "Stuart, don't talk dirty! What does Mama say about little boys who talk dirty?"
Stuart: "Little boys who talk dirty grow up to be Democrats."