Can I See Some ID? Trivia Quiz

Answer: Chairman Mao

The Chinese tell you that the wearing of such a badge will indicate loyalty on the part of your subjects, and help to create a cult. On further questioning, the Pilchard King discovers that Chairman Mao eventually forbade new badges to be made because they were depleting aluminium supplies.

The Pilchard King is also concerned when he discovers that some individuals, in order to illustrate their superior loyalty, were even prepared to pin the badges directly on to their skin.

Answer: Mali

Trying to figure out why they are going around with a big cross type structure on their heads, the Pilchard King discovers that the face mask represents a bird, whilst the structure above it represents the myth of creation. The lowest pair of arms illustrates a link with the terrestrial world, whilst the upper arms are to do with the supernatural world.

He then watches them perform a ritual dance where one man bends down and points his mask towards the ground to represent a link between the earth and the sky.

The Pilchard King can't help but wonder how this will work in the ocean!

Answer: Scheveningen

After trying unsuccessfully to pronounce "s-khay-vuh-ning-uhn", the Pilchard King soon realised what a masterstroke this was by the Dutch resistance. Utilising the uniqueness of their language, this must have been a great way of rooting out German spies.

However, the King became distracted when the Dutch veteran started telling him about the actual place. When he heard, "A beautiful beach with a bright blue sea," the Pilchard King could only think about booking a holiday to go thrashing about in those refreshing waters.

Answer: Jade

The New Caledonians tell how jade is considered a very highly prized material in their native lands. As well as using it as the crowning glory for the nbouet, they also like to create necklaces by using jade beads. They even relate stories of how highly prized artifacts made out of the green ornamental stone have even been traded for people's daughters.

This brings a tear to the Pilchard King's eye, as he thinks of his beautiful little princesses.

Answer: Tuareg

The Tuareg say that they are often known as the "blue men of the desert", as a result of their clothes being dyed with the indigo pigment in order to make them blue. Their robes and turbans were usually made just so, and over time this transferred to their skin.

They claim that they are now branching out into using a wider variety colours, but insist that they prefer to wear dark blue on ceremonial occasions. The Pilchard King does not seem particularly keen on having his nice shiny exterior blemished in such a way.

Answer: Nicaragua

In her distress, she explains how "grisi siknis" is a culture-bound syndrome that can only be cured by traditional Miskito healing methods. Some believe that it is caused by evil spirits or black sorcery. The girl is prone to fits of violence, and the Pilchard King soon has her restrained as he begins to fear for his life.

He doesn't seem very keen on the idea of creating a unique cultural identity by making some of his subjects fall prey to the devil!

Answer: Tattoo

The Japanese man explains that by creating a unique tattoo design that is only shown in a state of undress, the Pilchard King will give his subjects a special identity. He goes on to explain that the traditional form of tattooing known as "irezumi" is to be done by hand, but will be painful and will not come cheap. It may take years to do if the Pilchard King chooses the "full-body" option.

Whilst concerned about the potential of a diplomatic relationship with the organisation often known as the "Japanese Mafia", the Pilchard King was not keen when he discovered that some Japanese onsen (bathing facilities) did not allow those sporting body tattoos to enter their soothing waters. Not a great selling point to the Pilchard King!

Answer: Haka

After they have finished shouting and stamping their feet, the Maori take pains to let the Pilchard King know that the Haka is not just a war dance. It takes many different forms, some of which can be used to express grief and joy. The importance of dancing in unison is paramount, as a badly performed Haka is a bad omen.

Although he enjoyed all of the dancing, the Pilchard King is concerned that his dodgy dancing skills will bring doom and gloom to Pilchard Land, if he adopts this in his culture.

Answer: Wives

The Pilchard King asks more about the "Estonian-style". Apparently the wife puts her legs around the shoulders of the man whilst hanging on with her arms wrapped around his waist. The Finns explain that the World Champion is crowned if they are the fastest to negotiate a short obstacle course whilst carrying their own wife or indeed someone else's! The winner is then given his wife's weight in beer.

The Pilchard King wonders whether he might become a target for women's rights groups if he identifies Pilchard Land with such a sport, and he knows how touchy his wife is about divulging her weight.

Answer: Octopus

The Hawaii delegation explain that they used to worship the "Tiki of the Ocean", although he came to be associated with the devil. They have brought along some nice stone carvings and totems that are used to represent the multi-limbed god. They say that the god Kâne should be worshipped in conjunction with Kanaloa, as they have complementary powers.

But the Pilchard King will hear no more. So excited by the discovery of a watery god, he is already making plans to construct an octopus cult. He feels confident that this is the cultural identity that his kingdom needs to revolutionise the lifestyle of his subjects. Oh, and bring in the tourist revenue of course!