"Past and Presents" Trivia Quiz

Answer: Will Woman

While Grace and Will are having lunch in Will's office, someone hits the window. When they look to see who it was, Will says, "Kevin Wolchek. Can you believe that? He's working here now." Grace asks, "The Kevin Wolchek?" Will says, "The Kevin Wolchek." Jack pretends to know what's going on and says, "The Kevin Wolchek? Who's Kevin Wolchek?" Grace tells him, "The creep who bullied Will all through elementary school, his archenemy, his nemesis." Will then says, "Yes, I'll never forget the time he and his evil sidekick Prunehead tried to send me to the eighth dimension.

He's just a bully." Grace says, "Just a bully? He was awful! He used to dump Will in the cafeteria if he didn't do his homework. Will, I can't believe how casual you're being about this. I mean, this is the guy who changed the name on your locker from "Will Truman" to "Will Woman." Jack says, "Wow, that's brill.

The best I ever came up with was "Will Trumpetman". I gotta go back to the drawing board. I'll give you a little sample of what I'm working on. How about "Dill Truman"? It's supposed to be "Will."

Answer: 6:00

Nathan comes into Grace's office and Grace asks, "So what are you doing here?" Nathan says, "Well, you know, I was just sitting at home, thinking the highlight of my day is a kiss from my girlfriend, and I'm not waiting until 6:00 for that." Grace says, "You are such a liar. It's just because you couldn't find the birthday present at the apartment." Nathan says, "I tore the place apart. I even looked through your underwear drawer."

Answer: 10

When Kevin comes into Will's office, Will asked him why he was there. Kevin tells him, "I need you to draft a contract for my meeting with D.T. Petersen." Will says, "Peterson the meat guy? He's not my client." Kevin says, "Yeah, I know, but I'm taking this chick out to dinner tonight, so make it about ten pages and use plenty of big words." Will says, "Wait. Wait a minute! Whoa. Are you kidding me with this?! I'm not gonna do your homework for you." Kevin says, "I think you will." Will says, "No, I won't." Kevin tells him, "Yeah, you will. Just do it." Will then says, "Or what? You're gonna beat me up at 3:15 at the flagpole? Come on. That might have worked on me when I was in fourth grade, but I'm an adult now. You know, I wear suits and stuff. I'm not scared of you." Kevin says, "Boo!" Will then jumps and gives a small shriek.

Answer: a motorcycle

Grace tells Karen to go on and give him her gift and Karen says, "Okay, now, Nathaniel, I just got you a little something because I didn't really have a lot of time. So you're gonna have to forgive me." A man then pushes a red motorcyvle out and Nathan says, "Oh my God!" Grace then says, "Oh my God.

A motorcycle. You got him a motorcycle?" Karen tells Nathan, "Happy birthday." Nathan then asks, "You got me a Ducati Monster S4?" Karen asks, "Is it okay?" Nathan is so excited he doen't know what to say and begins to do a silly dance. Grace asks him what he is doing and he says, "My happy dance! Otherwise known as my Ducati Monster S4 dance. Karen, this is the greatest gift I've ever gotten in my life. Thank you so much!"

Answer: Jack

Jack comes into Will's apartment and Will is lying on the couch. Jack asks him why he is there and Will tells him his stomach hurts. Jack then says, "I think you may have a touch of S.C.S." Will asks, "What's that?" Jack tells him, "That would be "scaredy-cat syndrome". It's a strain of the "fraidy-cat virus" that was going around last summer."

Answer: geek

Jack tells Will he is disappointed in him and Will says, "Well, you think I like feeling like this again? You know, by the time I got to the fourth grade, the guy had made me such a nervous wreck that I ate lunch every day with the janitor. Always left there feeling better, though. Probably because I was swigging kahlua out of Mr. Pang's thermos." Jack then tells him, "Then why don't you do something about it? Fight back! Put on your pink boxing gloves and start crying." Will says, "I'm not a fighter, okay? I bruise like a summer fruit." Jack says, "Well, if you're not gonna do it for yourself, then do it for me. And, Will, do it for every loser, geek, weakling, homo, ethnic, fatty, smarty, sitting alone under the jungle-gym petrified that they're gonna get beat up for being different." Will then tells him, "You're right. Why am I putting up with this? I mean, I'm not a boy. I'm a man." Jack says, "Attaboy! So here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna get up. You're gonna go into that office, and you're gonna beat the crap outta that guy. You hear me? Come on! Get mad!" Will says, "I am! I'm mad!" Jack asks, "Good, so what are you gonna do?" Will tells him, "I'm gonna beat it out of him."

Answer: Right Guard

Karen brings a bodyguard to work with her because Grace threatened to beat her up. When Grace tries to get a cup of coffee, the bodyguard steps in front of her and Grace says, "Karen, tell bodyguard he can go. I no longer plan to kick your butt." Karen says, "Okay. Down, number five! Listen, why don't you head home and stand guard over the prime rib.

This morning I saw Rosario giving it the glad eye." Grace then says, "Little tip for bodyguard, someone needs to reunite him with his estranged brother, Right Guard."

Answer: Grace Alden

When Karen asked Grace what she was doing, Grace says, "I am wrapping a present for Nathan, trying to undo what you did to me." Karen says, "Refresh my drink. What did I do again?" Grace tells her, "You bought Nathan a motorcycle! I'm the girlfriend. I'm the one who's supposed to give the best gift, and now, thanks to four credit cards, 100,000 frequent-flyer Miles and an application to sell Will's sperm on the Internet, I do." Karen says, "Well, honey, if it's that big a problem, I could just take the motorcycle back." Grace says, "No need. 'Because now I have a present that's better than yours." Karen says, "Oh, that's great. Who wrote it?" Grace says, "It's not a book.

It's a watch, a very expensive diving watch, so that if Nathan ever finds himself 200,000 feet under water and needs to know what time it is, he ain't gonna be looking at a motorcycle." Karen says, "Well, honey, I hope you don't feel like you have to compete with me." Grace says, "I don't. I'm not competing.

But if I were, I'd be winning." Karen then says, "Why, Grace Alden, I can't believe what I'm hearing." Grace tells her, "Adler. My last name is Adler." Karen says, "Oh, that's pretty."

Answer: False

Kevin walks into Will's office and says, "Where you been, Woman? I need that contract right now." Will says, "Well, good news. I got five contracts." He then counts his fingers into a fist and says, "One, two, three, four, five. Maybe you didn't hear me.

It's go time." Will then holds up his fists. Kevin asks, "Do you actually have your dukes up?" Will tells him, "Oh, yeah. Let me tell you something, these dukes are your hazard." Kevin says, "Alright, let's do it." He then steps towards Will and Will says, "Wait! Okay. I can't do this. I don't want to fight you, okay? You're right. I am a woman. I'm not even as tough as a woman. You know, I once tried using an Epilady, and I had to see a specialist.

There's your contract. I did it. So just leave me alone, okay?" Kevin says, "You know, you did the right thing, Will."

Answer: The Big Weiner

Kevin tells his client, "Okay, Mr. Petersen, here's the of the merger agreement. I think you'll find that everything's in order." Mr. Petersen then begins to read from the contract, "Pursuant to standard legal codes, the party of the first part, D.T. Petersen, President and Chief Executive Officer of Petersen Meats, Incorporated, will hereafter be referred to as "The Big Wiener." Kevin says, "Excuse me?" Mr. Petersen asks, "What is this about?" He continues to read, "Upon completion of the merger, the base of operation for the new corporation will now be located one foot inside my big, pimply rear-end." We see Will walking by Kevin's wondow, dancing. Mr. Petersen continues to read, "Kevin Wolchek has not done his own homework since he was eight years old. One can only assume he received his law degree after consensual soft kissing with his torts professor." Kevin then says, "Uh, okay, uh, can you just pardon me for, uh, one moment?" He then runs from the office after Will and Will runs down the hall.