"Something Borrowed, Someone's Due" Quiz

Answer: Robert DeNiro

Grace brings her date, Bill, home to her and Will's new apartment. Bill tells her, "I love your new place." Grace says, "So do we. There's so much space, and it's such a great neighborhood. You know, I go to the same drug store as Robert DeNiro, who seems to be having protected sex."

Answer: a bar

Jack brought Karen to the bar where her mother works but tells her, "Karen, this is just my way of saying I'm sorry for springing your mother on you." Karen says, "Oh, that's sweet, honey. But why a filthy bar in Yonkers?" Jack says, "Because, if you take out filthy and Yonkers, what are you left with?" Karen says, "A bar. See, now, that's why you're the president of "Nothing, Incorporated."

Answer: Lois

Jack brings Karen's mother, the waitress, over to their table, but Karen doesn't look up. Jack says, "What'll you have, Karen?" Karen says, "Oh, I'll have a wine with a beer back and a vodka with a beer front." Lois then says, "You know what they say, "Beer before wine makes you feel fine. Wine before beer makes you feel queer." Just then Karen turns around, notices her mother and says, "You! I thought that nursery rhyme sounded familiar!"

Answer: her voice

Lois says to Karen, "You know, you can't go on hating me forever. I'm your mother. You got everything from me. Your looks, your guts, your ambition. The only thing you didn't get from me is that voice. That voice you got from your father." Karen says, "Yeah. No one could ever tell us apart on the phone. But this isn't about Daddy. Leave him out of it! This is about how you ruined everything for me as a kid."

Answer: business partner

Lois says, "Oh, come on, Keeks. We had good times. Remember the summer we went to Lake George?" Karen says, "Yeah, I remember I had to stay wrapped up in a blanket from head to toe cause you told everybody at the country club I was allergic to the sun, and if we didn't raise $10,000 for my operation, I'd have to live under the stairs for the rest of my life." Lois says, "And we fished." Karen says, "You used me, Mom. I was never anything more than a prop to you.

The poor little blind girl with the big rack. Or the poor little welfare child with the big rack. Or the poor little gardener's daughter. With the big rake.

It hurt me, Mom. I wanted a mother, not a business partner." Lois then says, "Oh, Kiki. I am so sorry. Maybe I wasn't winning any mother of the year awards then, but, you know, we're different people now, but we're still family. I still love you." Karen says, "I see. So you reappear after all this time, say you're sorry, and I'm supposed to forgive you, just like that?" Lois then holds out her arms to Karen, and Karen runs into them and says, "Oh, Mommy, I missed you."

Answer: Once was a cheerleader, who never stopped clapping.

Lois tells Karen, "Okay, now, I have been working this guy for months. And everything was going according to plan until he took a turn for the worse. So, I gotta close this deal quick, and I can't do it alone, which is why I brought in my poor, down-on-her-luck daughter who's also a little slow." Karen asks, "How slow?" Lois tells her, "Well, you were a cheerleader, but you never stopped clapping." Karen says, "Oh, it makes me sick to think I'm gonna help you bilk a man out of his hard-earned money. That reminds me, I gotta call Stan."

Answer: The Upper Westside Slasher

Grace and Will are lying to Rob and Ellen and pretending to have gotten attacked outside of their old apartment building to make Rob and Ellen move. Will says, "Well, there we were, crossing what the New York Times called the third most dangerous street in the country, and..." Grace interrupts him and says, "And there he was...The Upper Westside Slasher!" Will says, "They said they caught him, but I guess that swarthy, one-eyed killing machine is back."

Answer: 22 years old

Jack tells Karen, "I didn't mean to put you through this. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm your friend, and I'm always here, no matter what." Just then a doctor walks by, followed my medical students. He says, "Now we're gonna see a 22-year-old sailor in spectacular physical condition having a tattoo removed from his buttock." Karen simply says to Jack, "Go." Jack then joins the group.

Answer: Sean Penn

Karen tells her mother, "Okay, I'm ready. I figure slow-wise, I'm somewhere between Sean Penn in "I am Sam" and Sean Penn at home with his family." Lois says, "You know what? I can't do this. I can't take advantage of you. You're my daughter, and I love you." Karen says, "I see. So the old guy croaked before you could get into his will?" Lois says, "Oh, Karen, I'm shocked! I'm trying to apologize to you." Karen then says, "Restraining order from the daughter." Lois then says, "I don't know how she got up here that fast. Start walking."

Answer: False

Rob comes out and says, "Hey, guys, I'm a daddy." He gets congratulated and then says, "Oh, it's a beautiful baby boy. You should see the length of his boyhood." Grace says, "Can't wait." Rob says, "No. I mean, I almost cut the wrong thing."