Elvis Goes to the Movies - But Which Elvis? Quiz

Answer:

The Presley Movies

"Love Me Tender" is a weird movie inside a weird movie collection. Elvis' acting debut has him as a Confederate sympathizer whose brother supposedly died in the Civil War. Elvis marries his brother's ex-girlfriend, but when his brother returns after four years, they rob a bank together and then Elvis is shot to death. In between, he sings.

Continuing the murderous theme, Elvis is locked up in prison for manslaughter in "Jailhouse Rock" and starts a singing career.

Not escaping the death-filled early years of Elvis, "King Creole" sees a young Elvis commit a spot of GBH in school that gets him suspended. Making the wise decision to drop out, he quickly joins a gang and commits a string of muggings and thefts. Forced into singing for the mob through blackmail, Elvis eventually rebels and the mob sends a hitman after him, whom Elvis promptly kills (!). The head of the mafia then drives out to confront Elvis, kills Elvis' girlfriend who used to be his mistress, and the mob boss is then murdered. Elvis promptly returns to the bar where he had been an effective slave, and sings! The movie ends with his dad looking approvingly on as his murderer of a son croons, "Let's think of the future, forget the past." Probably Elvis' best movie.

Finally, we get to the bubblegum that we all know Elvis for. In "G.I. Blues" Elvis is a singing tank commander who takes a bet to bed a woman. Of course, he wins and of course they fall for each other. So formulaic it could have been churned out in a sausage press. Elvis sings.

The next movies "Blue Hawaii", "Kid Galahad", "It Happened at the World's Fair", "Kissin' Cousins", "Viva Las Vegas", and "Girls! Girls! Girls!" are much of a muchness. Elvis is a Hawaiian surf guide, a boxer, a crop duster, a race car driver, a WEIRD pair of redneck twins, and a Hawaiian fishing guide. He seduces a woman, makes good on a dead-end career/money problems, and sings (of course he sings).

Finally returning to Elvis' murderous roots, we have "Harum Scarum". Elvis is an assassin sent to kill a Middle-Eastern king. Elvis falls in love with the king's daughter and decides to not go through with the assassination, but is forced to. As he does, the whole plot comes apart, Elvis and his band are arrested. He convinces the king he didn't really want to kill him but instead wants to marry his daughter. The king agrees and in an ending that makes "Coming to America" look staid by comparison, Elvis honeymoons with a sultan's daughter in where else? Las Vegas...of course.

Jumping sharks like they were one-foot high hurdles, we get "Frankie and Johnny", where Elvis is on a Mississippi riverboat romancing Nellie Bly, and "Double Trouble" a nearly plotless vehicle that has Elvis as a singer on tour in Europe. Surprisingly, Elvis sings.

One last return to murder in "Charro!" where Elvis is a former cowboy gang member who is set up by his old gang who have stolen a gold cannon for ransom. They create a fake wanted poster to frame him for the theft and brand his neck to fake a gun wound. This movie was originally written with Clint Eastwood in mind, but when he passed on it, it got watered down and given to Elvis. A lukewarm script for a lukewarm actor, but...this is the only movie where Elvis doesn't sing!

Elvis finishes his movie career, if not strong, at least with a shred of dignity. "Change of Habit" has Elvis as a physician in a Puerto Rican ghetto who is helping the locals. He is joined by a trio of nuns who have hidden their identities to blend in with the locals to help them easier. Elvis falls for one of them, played by Mary Tyler Moore, who spurns him because she is a nun.


Other Elvises

"Straight to Hell" is a fun, virtually plotless, punk movie fronted by Joe Strummer with a cameo from Elvis Costello as Hives the Butler. This was a lazily thrown together vehicle for aging punks to get together, get very high, and have a camera pointed at them. It is supposedly a send up of Spaghetti Westerns, but in truth, it is just an excuse for people my age to point and the screen and say way too loudly, "I know that guy!"


"Death to Smoochy" is honestly one of my favourite movies of all time. I will say nothing about it other than if you like murder, Pia Zadora, and Barney the Dinosaur this movie is your perfect confluence. Elvis Stojko, the figure skater, makes an appearance.

"Breathless" follows a cop in the DR Congo trying to take down a drug cartel that his daughter's boyfriend has gotten accidentally mixed up with. Elvis Nolasco turns in a brilliant performance as Manolo, the cop. See this movie. Elvis doesn't sing.

A fully serviceable and fun movie, "The Grandmaster" tells the story of the man who trained Bruce Lee with all the now-expected flying about and slow rain shots of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". Elvis Tsui makes an appearance as the officer Mr. Hung.

The final movie on this list, "Puppy Love", is a formulaic romantic comedy that is not even worth overlooking, except for the fact that one of its cast members is the lead actress' dog, Elvis Hale.