"South Park" - "The Passion of the Jew" Quiz

Answer: Star Trek

All the boys were wearing makeshift costumes and Kyle declared himself a Vulcan, though Cartman insisted on referring to him as a "Vulcan Jew."

Answer: no

When he put his money on the counter and asked for the ticket, the attendant informed him that the movie was R-rated. Kyle started to explain why he needed to see it, but the attendant cut him off, saying, "Because this is such an important film that actually depicts the selfless act of Jesus Christ, I'll let you in to see it."

Answer: Braveheart

He even seemed to be praying to the poster, kneeling before it and thanking Mel for "all the blessings" he apparently brought Cartman. Cartman even dedicated his life "to making sure [Mel's] film is seen by everyone!"

Answer: Cartman

Cartman answered the phone, "Mel Gibson's 'The Passion' Fan Club," assuming the caller wanted to join the club after having seen the movie. When Stan said he hated the movie and wanted his money back, he and Cartman got into a war of words, until Stan realized Cartman was on the other end of the line. When Stan correctly identified him, Cartman hung up and crept away from the phone.

Answer: BASEketball

Heading to the bus for Malibu, Stan told Kenny, "Look, this isn't about the 18 dollars ticket money anymore. This is about being able to hold bad filmmakers responsible! This is just like when we got our money back for 'BASEketball'!"

Answer: torture him

After being refused their money at the door, the boys followed Mel inside, where he claimed , "You can torture me all you want, I still won't tell you [where I keep my money]!" The boys were confused as Mel stripped his clothes off and strapped himself to a torture rack, all the while pretending to not want to be tortured. He even pointed out the "whips" he kept on the wall!

Answer: banjo

After the boys refused to torture Mel, he jumped off the table and told them, "I have to use that money to build my church! I brought the fire and brimstone back to Christianity with 'The Passion' and now I'm gonna start my own church! And do you know why? So I can play banjo!" He then whipped out a hat and banjo and started playing away! The boys concluded that Mel was crazy, which only set him off. Mel pulled out a gun and started firing while doing cartwheels!

Answer: Aramaic

The crowd assumed Cartman was speaking Aramaic, "like in the movie," but he was actually speaking in German, teaching them to chant, "It is time for revenge! We must exterminate the Jews!" Thinking they were participating in a straightforward rally in support of the movie, the crowd followed Cartman through the streets of South Park shouting these incendiary words!

Answer: apologize for the death of Jesus

Kyle stood in front of the service and made his prepared statement: "In 1973, the United States officially issued an apology to the African American community for slavery. In 1956, Germany officially apologized for World War II and the Holocaust. And now, I believe, in 2004, the Jewish community needs to apologize for the death of Jesus." Everyone was shocked, of course, and blamed the movie for instilling Kyle with anti-Semitic sentiment.

Answer: Jesus' teachings

After Mel Gibson told Stan he couldn't object to his film because then he was objecting to Christianity, Stan shot back, "No, dude, if you wanna be Christian, that's cool, but you should follow what Jesus taught instead of how he got killed. Focusing on how he got killed is what people did in the Dark Ages and it ends up with really bad results." Stan's words resonated with the crowd and Cartman's followers realized the error of their ways, returning back from whence they came.