"South Park" - "Cartmanland" Trivia Quiz

Answer: releasing doves

They were going to release doves to "symbolize the Lord taking Mabel into His arms and giving her everlasting peace." The assistant opened the gate on the dove box, but when nothing flew out, she tipped the box and dumped the dead doves on the ground, saying "Peace."

Answer: Yes

When Stan asked for a $20 loan so he could buy a new jacket, Cartman told him to get a job, explaining that "no freeloaders are gonna take my hard earned cash." Kyle pointed out that Cartman hadn't earned it; his grandmother had just left it to him. Cartman had a different opinion: "Didn't earn it? What about all those years I spent making grandma like me? All the wet spit filled kisses I put up with.

The constant smell of aspirin and pee. Don't tell me I didn't earn it you [jerk]!"

Answer: television commercial

Cartman ran an ad on TV for the park's "Grand Opening." It featured all the fun rides and attractions, but told viewers that unless they were Eric Cartman, they weren't allowed in. Cartman kept adding to that prohibition, "Especially Stan and Kyle." After seeing the commercial, Stan jumped off the couch and told Kyle to join him in sneaking into the park.

The boys were climbing over the fence when Cartman found them, but Kyle got caught at the top and popped his hemorrhoid, so they had to go home to get his cream.

Answer: Security Guard

He originally tried to offer two rides a day as payment, but the security guard insisted on a cash salary. When Cartman insisted he didn't have any money, the security guard suggested that Cartman open the park each day to two people and charge them $29.95, which he could then use to pay for the security.

Answer: Haunted Mansion

On the first day that he let visitors into the park, Cartman went to enjoy the Haunted Mansion ride, only to find Butters and Clyde in line. Naturally, Cartman was furious, but Butters informed him that the ride seemed to be broken. Cartman radioed the security guard, but when he arrived he told Cartman that he didn't know how to fix the ride and Cartman would have to hire a maintenance person. Cartman resigned himself to letting two more people in each day to cover his increasing overhead.

Answer: Job

Kyle's parents joined forced as storytellers to recount their version of the story of Job: "You see, Job lived in the east of Jordan a long, long time ago. Job was a great man. He was blessed with ten lovely children, a wonderful wife, and many friends.

He was godly, and a good man, and fed the poor. He was the most upright and honorable of men, and every day he praised God. But one day, Satan went up to heaven and talked to God. [...] And God says to Satan, 'Have you seen Job? He is a great man, and he praises me every day.' But Satan said, 'Oh yeah? He only praises you because you gave him so much. If you didn't give him those things, he would curse your name.' To which God said, 'Oh yeah? I'll show you, Satan! I'll take those things away from Job and he will still praise my name.' And so God had a bunch of barbarians come in and slaughter Job's oxen and donkeys, and murder all his workers.

Then God sent his fireballs from the sky and killed his sheep and the rest of his employees. And then, as Job's sons and daughters were eating, God sent a mighty wind to collapse the house and crush and kill them all. Job was terribly sad, but he fell to his knees and said, 'The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away,' and praised God's name. So then Job got painful sores all over his body.

He was in terrible, miserable pain all day, every day. But he still kept his faith. God said to Satan, 'See? I told you. Job still praises me.'" Kyle was horrified and declared, "that's the most horrible story I've ever heard!"

Answer: night club

They were all adopting the "You can't come in" method to saturate the market and spike interest in their product. The empty restaurant was refusing to seat people, the movie theater was denying admission to movie-goers, and Gracy's department store was kicking out all of the shoppers. It was enough to make Kyle flatline!

Answer: Yes

He was eager to buy the park back after Cartman had turned it around and transformed it into a thriving business.

Answer: Kenny's family

The IRS agent explained that there was a $500,000 discrepancy in Cartman's records and the agents seized his money. Then they explained, "There's also the lawsuit of the little boy who died in your park. The family's entitled to the rest of this." The agents started wheeling off the rest of Cartman's money as Cartman protested, "What?! Kenny?! He dies all the time!" Then the agents informed Cartman that he still owed an additional $13,000 and they'd see him in court.

Answer: Yes

After Cartman got all his bad financial news, Stan got the doctors to wheel Kyle out to the park. They watched on as Cartman threw rocks at the park, complaining, "You just built me up to chop me down, didn't you? What about my dream? What about my money? [...] I'm so pissed off!" Miraculously, Kyle's seemingly fatal hemorrhoid went into remission and Kyle seemed to be coming back from death's door.

As the security guard sprayed Cartman with mace, Stan explained to Kyle, "Cartman is totally miserable. Even more miserable than he was before because he's had his dream and lost it." Kyle then sat up on his gurney, smiled at the sky and marveled, "You are up there!"