"South Park" - "The Super Best Friends" Quiz

Answer: Butters

The "Blainetologist" Steven was telling the boys that David Blaine was more than just a magician and told them he could show them "how to make your true self appear." When he asked if they considered themselves happy, Butters quickly replied, "I don't think I'm very happy. I always fall asleep to the sounds of my own screams. [...] And then I always get woken up in the morning by the sounds of my own screams. Do you think I'm unhappy?" Then, under Steven's persuasion, Kyle started thinking that he wasn't happy either.

Answer: no

Stan tried to get Kyle to sneak out with him in the middle of the night, but Kyle didn't want to go. Kyle told Stan, "This is what I believe in now, Stan. And if you can't respect that... then I guess we're not best friends anymore." Sad but determined to escape, Stan turned and left the building as Kyle returned to his room.

Answer: car

Stan was walking down the street with his bike when he saw two Blainetologists watching him in their car. He turned and headed in the opposite direction, but the car pulled up behind him and swerved across the street toward him! Stan dropped his bike in the street as the car hit it and bumped him to the ground.

As the Blainetologists drove away, they warned him, "You'd better watch yourself next time, abandoner!"

Answer: turning water into wine

Stan went to Jesus, hoping if he performed a miracle alongside David Blaine, people would see that Blaine wasn't all that special. Jesus told Stan that his most famous miracle was turning water into wine, and then performed the miracle for Stan by asking him to turn around while he switched out a pitcher of water with a different pitcher of wine. Stan was crestfallen, saying, "That trick sucks, Jesus." Jesus allowed, "Oh. Well, I guess it worked a little better on people 2000 years ago." Stan was desperate to save Kyle from Blaine's hold, and Jesus assured him that he had "a few more miracles up [his] sleeve."

Answer: he ate his own head

He at his head and then fell down to the floor. Two Blainetology assistants rushed onto the stage and hoisted Blaine to his feet, putting a clear box where his head should be and a curtain in front of the space. When they pulled the curtain away, Blaine's head was back in place! The crowd roared its approval and Blaine launched into a speech about his organization and its impending "tax-exempt status as a bona fide religion." Just then, Jesus approached the stage and appealed to the audience himself.

Answer: commit mass suicide

Kyle seemed a bit concerned at the prospect of mass suicide, but Blainetologist Steven assured everyone, "by killing ourselves in Washington, we are guaranteed everlasting happiness in the afterlife!" Cartman was excited, reveling in the idea that they were "finally gonna die!"

Answer: L. Ron Hubbard

When they got to the Hall of the Super Best Friends, Jesus introduced Stan to the coalition:
Jesus: "Stanley, I want you to meet some of the Super Best Friends. Buddha, with the powers of invisibility. Mohammed, the Muslim prophet with the powers of flame. Krishna, the Hindu deity. Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet. Lao Tse, the founder of Taoism. And Sea-Man, with the ability to breathe underwater and link mentally with fish.
Stan: "So you mean to tell me that even though people fight and argue over different religions, you guys are all actually friends?"
Mohammed: "More than friends, young boy, we are super best friends, with the desire to fight for justice.
Joseph Smith: "We all believe in the power of good over evil. Except for Buddha, of course, who doesn't believe in evil."

Answer: reflecting pool

They were gathered in front of the Lincoln Memorial and Steven announced how they would commit mass suicide: "Alright, brothers and sisters, gather round. It's time to drown ourselves in the Reflecting Pool! However, the-ah Reflecting Pool is a little more shallow than we originally thought, so to drown ourselves, you will need to lie on your stomach, face down, until you die, as such." A few at a time, the other Blainetologists followed suit and jumped into the pool!

Answer: "They killed Kenny!"

Stan feared that Kyle was already dead and saw a boy's body in the Reflecting Pool. He ran to turn it over and realized it was Kenny, so he exclaimed, "They killed Kenny!" From a distance, Stan heard Kyle's response, and, as in the game Marco Polo, Kyle kept repeating the phrase until he found Stan.

Unfortunately, Kyle was stuck in a glass bubble rigged to fill with water, thereby forcing Kyle to participate in the mass suicide!

Answer: giant stone John Wilkes Booth

When David Blaine brought the Lincoln statue to life and it started wreaking havoc on Washington, Jesus got on the radio and called back to headquarters to ask Moses what to do. Moses seemed a little dumbfounded, but eventually suggested "a giant stone John Wilkes Booth." The Super Best Friends got right to work, with Krishna taking beaver form and collecting wood, Jesus using "his master carpentry skills" to build a mold, and Sea-Man diving into the sea to gather water with which to mix concrete. Once the concrete was poured, Lao Tse brought the statue to life and the giant stone John Wilkes Booth shot Lincoln in the back of the head.

When Lincoln's body fell to the ground, he dropped the glass bubble holding Kyle, breaking it and freeing the boy before he drowned. Seeing he was losing, David Blaine jumped in a little rocket and fled the scene, leaving Stan to make a speech to all the Blainetologists about the value of all religions and the fact that you shouldn't have to pay money to "move up and learn [a religion's] tenets."