Deputygary and the Terrifying Tour Guide Quiz

Answer: Pokemon Red

This is the obligatory Pokemon video game question. The first Pokemon games were "Pokemon Red", "Pokemon Blue" and "Pokemon Yellow" for the Game Boy. These were followed by "Pokemon Gold", "Pokemon Silver" and "Pokemon Crystal" for Game Boy Color. Each successive gaming platform saw new Pokemon editions: Ruby, Sapphire, Diamond, Emerald, Pearl, Platinum, Stadium and so forth until you get to the Nintendo Wii with "Pokemon Battle Revolution", "My Pokemon Ranch" and "Melee! Pokemon Scramble". By the way, Pokemon is short for pocket monsters which is why I gave you the pocket-sized monster clue in the question. I'm helpful that way.

Answer: Lego Star Wars

The "Lego Star Wars" game was a very clever marketing ploy. It opened up the sales of Lego Star Wars play sets. The "Lego Star Wars" game has been joined by "Lego Batman" and "Lego Indiana Jones". I continually badger them with letters asking for a "Lego Chuck Norris" game. So far my pleas have fallen on deaf ears.

Answer: The Secret of Monkey Island

Here are some of the sword-fighting taunts and the comebacks: "My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!" "So you got that job as a janitor after all."
"I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle." "I hope you've learned to stop picking your nose."
"You are a pain in the backside, sir." "Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?"
I'd like to use those lines myself but I rarely find myself in a sword fight.

Answer: Duke Nukem 3D

"Duke Nukem", the first Duke game, was a side scroller. The player had to complete the levels going from left to right. In "Duke Nukem 3D" the player moves in an interactive environment. The player can bypass enemies by going through vents and hidey holes.
Caution: this game is rated M for mature players. It contains a lot of violence and denigrates women; or so I read on a game review site. There is a parental password that can be invoked should younger players wish to play. Somehow Mrs. Deputygary discovered this feature before I even had a chance to try the game out.

Answer: Army Men II

Most of the battles in "Army Men II" take place outdoors. Some, however, occur indoors. The opening battle takes place on a kitchen countertop. Soldiers can hide behind cans and salt and pepper shakers. Along with fighting tan soldiers the green soldiers also have to battle roaches. My favorite move was to lure the enemy over the range top, then turn on the burners once they got there and watch them melt. You also have access to a huge magnifying glass for melting enemy troops outdoors and aerosol cans and matches to melt enemy troops indoors.

When you get tired of melting the enemy you can just shoot them with your weapons.

Answer: Rainbow Six

"Tango" refers to target, or terrorist. "Tango down" meant that a terrorist was prosecuted with extreme prejudice (i.e. killed.)
In the game you are given a mission to accomplish. You choose your team; outfit them with weapons, appropriate clothing and gear; allocate them to teams; and draw up a plan for each team. For example, if you have to rescue hostages from a house you might set one team to take out the outside sentries, have another team pick the lock on the back door to gain entrance and have a third team storm the front door.
As with most games cheat codes exist to, for example, make your team invincible in case you just want to shoot people without having to use your brain and stuff. I'm just saying.

Answer: SpongeBob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom

In "Battle for Bikini Bottom", Plankton has built an army of robots to take over the town. You take the role of SpongeBob, Patrick or Sandy to try to defeat the robots. Patrick is the starfish and Sandy is the squirrel. Each character has unique abilities.

The game also includes minigames. The only problem I have with the game is this: what is a squirrel doing underwater? And how does one plankton build a robot army? A plankton doesn't even have arms or legs, does it? I mean, a plankton is barely a sentient being. And where does a sponge come up with pants, dress shirt and tie? OK. I guess I have three problems with this game: an underwater squirrel, a megalomaniacal plankton, and a well-dressed sponge.

Answer: Donkey Kong Country

You start out with just Donkey Kong. Along the way you can find a barrel with Diddy in it. Free him from the barrel and he joins you. You can then hand off between the two: Donkey is stronger while Diddy is faster and can jump better. A nice thing is that if you have both and you lose one the other takes over. You do not have to start the level over.
If you are familiar with the original "Donkey Kong" game, Donkey used barrels to try to keep the little Italian-looking dude from rescuing the princess. Barrels fill many roles in "Donkey Kong Country". There is even a level where you get shot out of barrels using perfect timing to complete the level.
One of the bonus levels involves defeating a giant beaver to get a cache of bananas. That's right, I said beaver. I'm not sure what a beaver is doing in a game about monkeys, crocodiles and bananas but then I'm not sure why the main monkey is called Donkey.

Answer: Doom II

I believe BFG 9000 stands for "big fat gun" 9000. It shoots a green blob of something that kills anything in sight. It is the deadliest gun in the game. In fact, ugo.com named it the 2nd best video game weapon of all time. Which goes to show that some people have too much time on their hands if they can make a list of the 50 best video game weapons, but I guess I shouldn't throw stones considering some of the nonproductive things I do with my time.
By the way, the 4 block-long straight line in "Tetris" was chosen as the very best video game weapon of all time.

Answer: Tiger Woods PGA Tour

"Tiger Woods PGA Tour" allows you to make a totally customized golfer for yourself. You get to choose whether you want to be male or female. There is such a variety of faces, skin tones, hair, eyes, noses and mouths that you can make your golfer look almost exactly like you. Mine was tall, muscular and classically handsome. You can make them right- or left-handed. You can buy clothes, clubs, shafts, grips and golf balls. There is a companion program called "Course Architect" that allows you to make your own golf courses and you can also import courses that other people have built and uploaded to the internet.