Snacks and Drugs and Rock and Roll Quiz

Answer: The Joye of Snackes

'The Joy of Sex' by Alex Comfort is a Roundworld best-seller and Nanny Ogg's cookbook was a hit in Discworld - for much the same reasons! It included such delights as 'Carrot and Oyster Pie - Carrots so you can see in the dark and oysters so you've got something to look at'. Tffany Aching is a Discworld character and Clooty Dumplings are another Discworld delicacy. I apologise to all Tolstoy fans for 'War and Peas'.

Answer: Antipasta

Antipasta is actually created hours after the meal, but it exists backwards in time and, if prepared properly, arrives on the tastebuds at exactly the same moment 'thus creating a true taste explosion'. Guess it must be a literal explosion - not one to eat when you're wearing your new white suit, methinks.

Although Rat is a featured dish in Ankh-Morpork, I made all the wrong answers up.

Answer: A small short-crust pastry containing raisins

The Watch wonder why Brother Fingers (the only member of the Brethren to survive an unfortunate attack of a dragon) runs off screaming when they ask him if he wanted his figgin toasted. The Supreme Grandmaster should have consulted the 'Dictionary of Eye-Watering Words' before he made the oath up, as he would have discovered that 'welchet' is 'a type of waistcoat made by certain clock-makers', 'gaskin' is 'a shy, grey-brown bird of the coot family' and 'moules' is 'a game of skill and dexterity, involving tortoises'. I shall never look at 'Moules mariniere' the same way.

Answer: Black Death Meringue

Black death meringue was part of a gastronomical bribe that All Jolson gave to Sergeant Fred Colon to get his cart unclamped in 'The Fifth Elephant'. 'Millennium hand and shrimp' is one of Foul Old Ron's incomprehensible ramblings and 'Reg Shoe Pastry' and 'Gourds! Gourds' were among the suggestions made by my friends when I was asking for help in naming this quiz. (Don't blame my friends for the title, though - the final one was all my own work).

Answer: Horse milk

'Light Fantastic' is the first book in the Discworld series and, coincidentally, the first one I read. I think it was the 'horse d'oeuvres' that made me fall in love with Terry Pratchett's writings. The Horse People eat 'horse cheese, horse meat, horse soup, horse black pudding and horse d'oeuvres', but they don't drink horse milk, instead they drink 'a thin beer you wouldn't want to speculate about'.

They heat their yurts by burning horse dung too - fragrant!

Answer: Cream

The Guild insist that Ankh-Morpork folk are not like effete foreigners who like cream and cocoa liquor, but prefer their chocolate 'made mostly from milk, sugar, suet, hooves, lips, miscellaneous squeezings, rat droppings, plaster, flies, tallow, bits of hair, lint, spiders and powdered cocoa husks'.

This mirrors the dispute that the EU had with the UK. As the UK joined it was granted an exemption from the EEC (as it then was) regulations that only cocoa butter could be used in chocolate. In the UK some of the cocoa butter was exchanged for other vegetable fats. Ireland, Denmark, Portugal, Finland, Austria and Sweden also allowed the use of other fats. Eight countries considered that only cocoa butter could be allowed. On March 15th, 2000, the European Parliament voted to allow chocolate to be made with other vegetable fats in addition to cocoa butter, as long as there's no more than 5% of the finished product and it's clearly labelled. Ankh-Morpork chocolate was classified as 'cheese' in the great chocolate centres of Discworld - only the colour stopped it being 'tile grout'.

There was a rumour that the EU wanted to rename UK milk chocolate as 'vegelate'.

Answer: Coffee beans coated in chocolate

Susan is amazed that Lu-Tze can manage to only eat one, for 'is it not written "If you have another one you won't have an appetite for your dinner?"' Lu-Tze apparently prefers liquorice. She also likes cherry creams and coffee cremes, but it's the nougat that allows us to learn that 'A chocolate that you did not want to eat does not count as chocolate', which is useful to know!

Answer: Jambalaya

Although Mrs. Gogol pretended to foresee the witches' arrival for Mrs Pleasant in a bowl of gumbo, all you could really see in a bowl of gumbo 'was that the future contained a very good meal'. She'd actually seen it earlier in a bowl of jambalaya. Any shellfish soup is known as a bisque and Brown Windsor is a soup, popular in the Victorian and Edwardian times and once a staple of British Rail meals, in the days before the food became microwaved baps.

Answer: Pizza

'Revelation Joe' claimed to have been given the recipe in a dream by the Discworld's Creator Himself. The original is claimed to be 'miraculously preserved in the Forbidden City of Ee'.

Answer: Harga's House of Ribs

It has an 'All-You-Can-Gobble-For-a-Dollar' menu. Apart from a brief spell of monarchy worship in 'Guards! Guards!', Sham Harga has never changed the fat or cleaned out the coffee jug.