Boycie - The Crooked Car-Dealer Quiz

Answer: He went to school with Del

Del has maintained what they call a "loose" friendship with Boycie over the years. Occasionally drinking with him in the pub, playing cards, doing deals, or all of the above. But Boycie is not the nicest of friends.
For instance, the two men are playing cards with Trigger in The Nag's Head one night, when there's an urgent phone call. Del's brother Rodney has run away from home - thanks to a prank of Del's gone wrong! Del tells the others Rodney's left a note saying he's never coming back. Plus he's taken all their tinned food. Del moans "I don't know what to do?"
"Ain't you got nothing in the freezer, then?" laughs Boycie.

Answer: Marlene

Boycie and Marlene have been trying to have a baby for years. They live in a huge mansion all by themselves. Del tells his family "It's sad really. All that money, and they can't buy the one thing that would truly make them happy."
Then he recalls Anna (the German lady living temporarily at their flat) is expecting a baby soon. Plus she wants to give it up for adoption. Aha! Del could make a small fortune, here!
Boycie and Marlene are keen on the idea; they will tell the world it's their own child. But it doesn't work out for two reasons. One: Anna decides to keep the baby after all. Two: she forgot to tell Del the father was West-Indian. Boycie exclaims "How can I convince the world my grandfather was Louis Armstrong?! You haven't heard the last of this, Del!"

Answer: Great Dane

"Dukey" is an enormously-friendly enormous dog. Whenever Rodney and Del visit the Boyces, the animal often plays with Rodney and wrestles him to the ground. The Trotter brothers offer to dog-sit while Boycie and Marlene go on holiday. But things go wrong.
Firstly, they give him Albert's sleeping pills by mistake. Hence the episode title "Sleeping Dogs Lie". And their great-uncle takes the dog's vitamin pills by mistake! He wonders why Del and Rodney can't stop laughing...

Answer: True

It has been not a good week for Del. He lost to Boycie at every single card game - not to mention coin-tosses. But he invites the gloating auto-merchant around to his flat that night. One last game. All or nothing.

Literally true, as it turns out. Del stakes the last of his life savings, Trigger's car, and their furniture (and his family's patience!) in the final hand. They'll all be broke if Boycie wins!

The latter scoffs "Well you shouldn't play big boys' games, should you?" Then Del calls. Boycie says "I got Kings." "'Ow many?" Boycie shows them, making a snide French remark. "F...FOUR?!?!" "I didn't know you were good at maths, Del." Everyone looks at Del. "I only had two pair," he groans. He shows them. A pair of Aces...and another pair of Aces. "That's...four...aces!?!?" whimpers the humiliated car-dealer. Del retorts "I didn't know you were good at maths either, Boycie."

Everyone congratulates Del. Before leaving the flat, Boycie angrily whispers to Del asking where he got the aces. Del tells the truth. "Same place YOU got them Kings." Boycie's jaw drops. How did Del know? Del explains "That wasn't the hand I dealt you!"

Answer: Cortina

The show's favourite spiv Mickey Pearce (Rodney's best "mate") has started a partnership with his West Indian buddy Jevon. One day they spot Boycie at The Nag's Head, and summon him over. "You remember that old Cortina you said me and Jevon would never sell?"
Well they sold it. And Boycie cannot believe his ears!
"That old Cortina was a death-trap! You two should be ashamed of yourselves!"
Mickey retorts indignantly "YOU sold it to us!"
Boycie gulps.

Answer: A waiter

Del has met a con-man named Arnie who sells him a briefcase full of expensive gold chains. Del didn't have enough money to buy the whole lot, so he asks his friends to chip in. Boycie agrees to contribute 7,000 pounds, expecting to double his money.
But Arnie tricks them all. He goes to a posh restaurant, promising to sell the chains to an American client who's arriving soon. Del and Boycie sit at a nearby table to make sure nothing goes wrong. Suddenly...Arnie has a heart-attack, and collapses on the floor!
Boycie pretends to be a doctor and runs over to help. But when it becomes obvious he's just trying to grab Arnie's case, a waiter intervenes to stop him. It turns out Arnie was just pretending to be ill and soon an ambulance driven by his two sons turns up and takes him away - with all the gold!
Back at the flat, broken-nosed Boycie moans "What's good for a broken nose?"
Dear, sweet Trigger misunderstands. "Knuckle-duster...baseball bat?"

Answer: Aubrey

Prior to the episode "Sickness and Wealth," we never learn the car-dealer's first name. But during a seance, the ghost of an old man asks to speak to someone called "Aubrey". Everyone sitting at the table looks at another, puzzled. There's no one in the room by that name. Boycie eventually speaks "I am here."
He shamefully admits Aubrey is his middle name. Only his late father ever called him that. Trigger (whose real name is Colin) remarks "You never said your name was Aubrey!"
Aubrey grumbles "Nor would you if your name was Aubrey."
Then the ghost of his father tells him to look after his child. Aubrey/Boycie is angry. "'e was always 'aving a go at me for not giving him a grandchild!" and storms off.
But when the others meet downstairs in the pub, Boycie's wife Marlene has arrived. She is astonished when she hears what the ghost of her father-in-law said. "I'm having a baby!" she exclaims "I've just had it confirmed at the hospital!"
Perhaps there is some merit to seances after all?

Answer: Sheffield

In the episode "Dates," Delboy telephones the Boyce household. He almost doesn't get through - Boycie and Marlene are arguing as usual (this time about their Great Dane Dukey trying to eat the fish in Boycie's aquarium). Marlene eventually answers. "Oh hi Del, how's tricks?"
"Never been better!" he answers with a grin. He's just started dating a woman called Raquel, who will eventually move in with him. He's actually phoned because he wants Boycie to help Raquel in her acting career by proposing him as a Mason. But Boycie just laughs. "What's the matter Del? Someone slip some angel-dust in your Piņa colada?"
Del is annoyed. He was being serious! He tells Boycie he will do him a favour in return. Specifically: he won't tell Marlene about her husband's mistress in Sheffield. Boycie turns pale. "You wouldn't!"
Then he laughs, recalling Del is not an informant. It's just a bluff! As it happens he's right, but Del has another trick up his sleeve.
Marlene takes the phone back, and asks Del about his great-uncle Albert's upcoming birthday party. Del smiles devilishly. Albert would love a fishing knife. But it must be made of SHEFFIELD steel.
Puzzled, Marlene asks "Sheffield?"
"GIVE US THAT PHONE!"

Answer: True

Boycie's former class-mate the corrupt and bitter policeman Roy Slater confronts him one day at the pub. "I heard a whisper that you're flogging PIRATE tapes?"
Thinking quickly, Boycie replies "Yeah, 'Treasure Island'. 'Mutiny on the Bounty'."

Answer: Tyler

A few years later, little Tyler is with his parents on a holiday in the USA. They don't realise Del and Rodney are in Miami too - dodging The Mafia. The Trotters are hiding from gangsters in the swamp, and they spot the Boyces on a boat. Little Tyler exclaims "Look! It's Uncle Rodney!"
His dotting mother laughs. "What an imagination!"