"South Park" - "Make Love, Not Warcraft" Quiz

Answer: Artard

Stan responded haughtily, "I am socializing, artard! I'm logged on to a MMO-RPG with people from all over the world and getting XP with my party using team-speak!" After Stan threw all that jargon at his father, Randy could only slump his shoulders dejectedly and reply, "I'm not an artard."

Answer: someone with "absolutely no life"

Because the player had "played 'World of Warcraft' nearly every hour of every day for the past year and a half," the executive concluded that the offender was someone who had "absolutely no life." This, of course, led to a more troubling conundrum, voiced by another executive: "How can you kill that which has no life?"

Answer: Hitler

Cartman was trying to convince all the boys to band together to beat the annoying player, but Clyde dissented, saying that it was a waste of time and he had better things to do. Cartman was not one to give up, though, and tried to give Clyde a more historical perspective:
Cartman: "Clyde, Clyde! If you had a chance right now to go back in time and stop Hitler, wouldn't you do it? I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him because I think he was awesome, but you would, right?"
Clyde: "I'm just gonna stop playing."
Cartman: "When Hitler rose to power there were a lot of people who just stopped playing. You know who those people were? The French. Are you French, Clyde?"
Clyde: "No."
Cartman: "Voulez-vous couchez avec moi, Clyde?"
Clyde: "Alright, alright. I'll do it."

Answer: Hello Kitty Island Adventure

After Cartman had laid out his plan, Butters volunteered a bit of personal information:
Butters: "I don't play 'World of Warcraft'."
Cartman: "Butters, you said you're on your computer all the time."
Butters: "Yeah, but I'm playing 'Hello Kitty Island Adventure'."
Cartman: "Butters. Go buy 'World of Warcraft', install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you."
Butters: "Oh, oh. Alright, alright then."

Answer: Playboy

The boys all charged the nerd player, but he summoned scorpions and was decimating the resistance. When Cartman went over to Clyde's character and told him to use his crossbow, Cartman realized that they'd "lost Clyde." Evidently, Cartman's rousing speech about Hitler and the French wasn't enough to keep Clyde away from the naked ladies!

Answer: kill boars

Cartman said that they could get to a higher level if they logged in and stayed in the forest killing boars, meanwhile evading the nerd player's detection. Kyle pointed out that killing boars was "only worth 2 experience points a piece" and asked if Cartman realized how many they'd have to kill to get up 30 levels. Cartman, having already done the calculation, read off his note, "65,340,285." He then told the boys that it would take them "7 weeks, 5 days, 13 hours, and 20 minutes," allowing 3 hours each night for sleep. Cartman then drove his sales pitch home: "You can just hang outside in the sun all day tossing a ball around or you can sit at your computer and do something that matters."

Answer: Rockstar Energy Drink

All four boys morphed into bloated, pimply, slobs during the "training" period. However, they did manage to get up 50 levels in 3 weeks.

Answer: Accounting

When the 'Warcraft' Executives noticed the incredible progress the boys had made, they started to think that the prophesy was coming true. The three executives collectively told the story to their co-exec: "Long ago, when the World of Warcraft was created, one of the programmers put a sword, called the Sword of a Thousand Truths, into the game inventory. Apparently it could cause 120 damage per second, with an instant manaburn and an enchantment that boost its stamina plus 80.

But the Sword was determined too powerful for any one to possess, so it was removed from the game and stored on a 1-gig flash drive.

But it was foretold that one day, players who could wield the sword, might reveal themselves." And off they went to find the flash drive!

Answer: Hot Pockets

He had an intercom system set up so he could order more Hot Pockets from his mother.

Answer: Cartman

Perhaps he was more qualified because he'd spent his down time reading the 'World of Warcraft' manual, but, as usual, Cartman was taking charge and telling the other boys when and what to do.

Answer: "Oh my god."

That was followed by the shattering of Randy's coffee mug as he dropped it on the floor to run upstairs and find his son.

Answer: no

When they couldn't find Stan, they realized that they'd have to get to a computer and log into the game in order to give the boys the sword. However, the executives didn't have accounts, lamenting, 'No, I don't have a 'Warcraft' character! I have a life!"

Answer: no

When he realized he was going to "have diarrhea again," he called his mother down. She held a bowl behind him and caught his excrement, complementing him on being such a big boy!

Answer: Best Buy

After hi-jacking a car on the street outside his house, he drove to the Best Buy and kicked a little kid off of the demo station so that he could sign in and complete his mission.

Answer: Cartman

After Stan used the Sword to drain the nerd player's mana, the boys were able to actually injure him with their weapons. Kenny shot him with an arrow and Kyle brought him to his knees with a fireball. Then Cartman approached him and, saying, "Looks like you're about to get pwned," used his sledgehammer on the player's head to kill him! ("Pwned" is an internet term meaning, essentially, to be dominated by an opponent.) After killing the nerd player, though, the boys were a little lost as to how to proceed.
Stan: "I can't believe it's all over. What do we do now?"
Cartman: "What do you mean? Now we can finally play the game."
Kyle: "Oh, yeah."