"Sons and Lovers" Trivia Quiz

Answer: Paul Lynde

They're all in the cafe and Jack is writing a letter. Karen asks, "How's the letter to your daddy coming, poodle?" Jack says, "Just got to give it a little kiss and a little spritz." He kisses the letter and sprays perfume on it. He then says, "A little kiss and a little spritz." He then kisses his wrist and sprays perfume on himself. Will then says, "Yes, nothing says "be my sugar daddy and make it hurt" like the gentle scent of Jean Nate." Karen says, "Not that daddy, Wilma.

His real daddy. You know, we've narrowed down the identity of Jack's father.

It's either one of the eleven Black brothers of New Canaan, Connecticut, or Paul Lynde, the center square."

Answer: Grace

A man walks into the cafe and Will says, "Oh, my god. There he is. Don't look around like a crazy person." Grace franctically looks around and says, "Who? Where? Who? Where? There?" Will then says, "Was it the simplicity of the instructions that confused you? Over at the counter. What do I call him? Is he my boyfriend? My significant other?" Grace says, "How about the man you're afraid to talk to?" Will says, "That works, too."

Answer: True

Will is upset after he finds out Grace is still dating Nathan. He tells Grace, "So the whole time you've been dating this guy, sneaking around behind my back? God! I feel like Captain Von Trapp and you're Liesl making out with that Nazi in the gazebo." Grace says, "We're not dating. My God, you overstate everything." Will then asks, "How many times have you seen him?" Grace says, "I don't know.

A couple of times. Two...twelve..." Will says, "Oh, so that's why when you disappear every night for five hours, you bring me back a little present. You're just trying to create a diversion so I wouldn't ask you any questions." Grace says, "Hey, what are you complaining about? You got some lovely things. How many compliments have you gotten on that leotard?" Will says, "It's not a leotard! It's a fitted-T."

Answer: an eight

Grace and Nathan are in bed and Grace sighs and says, "Oh, that was really nice. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. You know, I'm gonna write you a little letter of recommendation because that should be on your résumé." Nathan says, "Let me ask you. How would you rate me?" Grace asks, "What do you mean?" Nathan says, "On a scale from one to ten. And remember, the rule is on the first time it's polite to round up." Grace says, "I'm not gonna rate you." Nathan tells her, "I don't like it, either, but that's the world we live in." Grace then says, "Oh, alright. Eight." Nathan says, "Oh. You were a seven." Grace says, "What?" Nathan then says, "That's good. I've never been with anyone above a four."

Answer: foot

Nathan is cooking omelettes while Will and Grace sit at the table. Nathan says, "Alright, hope you guys like my phony bologna free-range omelets." Will says, "Ah, yes. It's only bean curd, but it's got the look of pig." Nathan says, "I thought you gay guys liked the bologna." Will tells him, "I think you're confusing the bologna with the same rights and privileges afforded to married couples." Grace then says, "Mmm, mine's yummy." Will tells her, "You'd eat your own foot if it had parmesan cheese on it." Nathan then says to Will, "Come on, try it. How do you know you don't like it if you don't try it?" Will says, "Because fake bologna doesn't magically become better when you mix it with Egg Beaters, two sticks of butter, and metal shavings from my new pan."

Answer: spleen heart

Will and Nathan are sitting on the couch. Will says, "So, Nathan, tell me, what kind of work do you do?" Nathan tells him, "Oh, I don't work. I've got my spleen money." Will says, "Right, right. I don't know what that means." Nathan says, "Well, about a year ago, I took a spill on my motorbike, the wheel came off, I went flying, and lost a spleen.

The bike company coughed up a butt-load of money, and I've been livin' off of that ever since. Pretty cool, huh?" Will says, "Yeah, with the market being down the way it is, you may want to lacerate a kidney and reinvest." Nathan says, "Well, I've got my IRA. What do you do?" Will tells him he's a lawyer and Nathan says, "Oh, wow. I'm a man without a spleen. You're a man without a heart. Maybe we should take a trip to Oz."

Answer: rich and thin

Just before Jack's father is due to arrive, Jack asks, "Oh, what do you think dad's gonna be like? Oh, I Don't care if he's rich or poor, fat or thin, just as long as he's rich and thin." Karen then says, "Oh, honey, take it from me. Rich and fat works, too." There's a knock on the door and Jack says, "Uma Thurman-Hawke, he's here! Okay, I'm gonna answer the door. No, that'll seem needy, but I am needy, but needy's not hot, but I'm hot, so it doesn't matter." Will says, "Jack, take it easy. You're having a "Yentl" breakdown." Jack says, "Okay, okay. I'm gonna play it cool and let him come to me."

Answer: Joanne

When Will opens the door, there's a woman there and she says, "Hi. I'm Jo Black. I'm looking for Jack McFarland." Jack runs to her, hugs her, and says, "Daddy!" She then says, "No, no. There's something I need to explain." Jack says, "I know, daddy. You're a woman, but on some level, who isn't?" She tells him, "No, Jack. no, no. That's why I wanted to meet you in person. My name is Joanne Black. I'm Joe Black's wife." Jack says, "Oh, nice to meet you. Where's my papa?" She says, "I am so sorry. I really don't quite know how to say this, but your father died five years ago." Jack then says, "Oh. Okay. Will you excuse me for a minute?" Jack then runs into Will's bedroom and Karen says to Grace, "Honey, it must be a relief to finally have someone else kill your party."

Answer: Nathan

Nathan enters the bedroom and says he thought Jack would like some Jack (Daniels). Jack perks up but then sees he meant whiskey. Will says to Nathan, "Thanks, Nathan, but when we're in pain, we usually prefer just to talk it out rather than, say, gettin' all liquored up and goin' down to the dump and shootin' rats." Nathan says, "I was thinking more of a memorial of sorts. You know, when someone close to you dies, it's important to remember them, you know, drink a toast, say good-bye?" Will says, "No, like I said, I don't think that's the way Jack..." Jack the sits up and says he wants to do it. Three shots of whiskey was poured and Will says, "I never had the opportunity to meet Joe Black. Saw the movie, though. A bit long, didn't care for it, even though it had Brad Pitt in it. Didn't care for "Snatch", either. The movie. Anyway, here's to you, Joe. We hardly knew ye. Actually, we didn't know ye at all." They all then toast and Jack says, "First of all, I'd like to say thank you to Joe Black. Thank you for giving me my piercing blue eyes, my impossibly high cheekbones, my rock-hard butt and my feminine side, which I did not get from my mother. In conclusion..." He then sings, "Papa, how I love you papa, how I need you papa, how I miss you kissing me good night." Again, they toast, and Nathan says he would like to say something and Will says, "Go ahead. After all, you knew him as well as we did.

NATHAN: We're born, we grow, we live, we die. If we're lucky, we have family and friends who know us and love us. I never knew my dad. But it doesn't matter, because wherever we go and whatever we do, we can know that the spirit of the mother and the spirit of the father are alive in each of us. That everything good already exists within ourselves. So, here's to Joe, the father in all of us." Later, Grace opens the door to find all three of them passed out on the bed and says, "Oh my God. I've turned another one!"

ALL: To Joe.

JACK: Thank you, Nathan.

Answer: 6:00

Nathan is making omelettes again and Will says, "How have I lived without phony bologna omelets?" Nathan says, "Wait until you try my southern fried I-can't-believe-it's-not-chicken." Will says, "Can we have dinner at 6:00?" Nathan asks, "How about dinner at 8:00?" Will tells him, "I get too hungry for dinner at 8:00." Will and Nathan sing, "That's why the lady is tramp!" Grace then says, "Oh my God. You did sleep together." Nathan then says, "Grace, if you're gonna think I'm gay every time I pass out with men, you're in for a lifetime of heartache."

Answer: Grace Adler

When Karen comes into the apartment, Grace is jumping on a mini-trampoline. Grace says to her, "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that it's a dopey gift because it doesn't have "Tiffany" or "Cartier" or "may cause drowsiness" on it, but I will tell you something. I like Nathan, and I don't care what you think. So, what do you think?" Karen says, "Oh, honey, where do I begin? He's crude, he's crass. Last night at the party, he dropped an ice cube down my blouse just so he could fish it back out again. Oh, honey, I love him. I think you found the one." Grace says, "Well, the one for now." Karen says, "Come on.

The only thing to do now is get a blood test, pick out a big, white cake, and get a copy of "Sloppy Bride" magazine." Grace then says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not so fast. We've only been going out for two weeks. It took me longer to pick out my screen name, and it's "Grace Adler."

Answer: Chocolat

There weren't three seats together so Grace said she was going to ask another coupke to move. She heads towards them and says, "Excuse me, I hate to bother you..." The man says, "We're not moving." Grace says, "You suck. I hope you're sitting on gum." The woman next to him says, "I'm sorry. He's just angry because I'm making him see "Chocolat" again. And besides, that seat's broken." Grace then says to Will and Nathan, "Oh, great. We can't sit together. Let's just go see another movie." Nathan says, "No, I don't want to miss "Chocolat". It's magical."

Answer: 13 years ago

A young boy confronts Karen and asks her, "Excuse me. Are you Karen Walker?" Karen asks, "Why? Did her step-son sit on you?" He says, "No." Karen then asked, "Did her driver accidentally run you over?" Again, he says, "No." Karen then asks, "Are you an employee at one of her husband's textile factories in Jakarta?" Elliot says, No." Karen then says, "I'm Karen Walker. How can I help you?" Elliot says, "ell, I went to your house because that's the last address I had. I'm looking for Jack McFarland." Jack then asks, "Why? Does he owe you money?" Elliot says, "No." Jack then asks, "Did he steal some of your jokes for his cabaret act?" Again, Elliot says, "No." Jack then asks, "You missing a scooter you probably weren't using anyway?" Elliot says, "No." Jack then says, "Hi, I'm Jack McFarland." Elliot says, "You are? Wow. I mean, hi. I'm Elliot." Jack says, "Well, what can we do for you, little man?" Elliot then says, "Well, 1thirteen years ago, did you donate your, "stuff" to a "stuff" bank called the New York Family Clinic?" Jack says, "Let's see. I think I did have an account at that bank." Elliot then says, "Well, my mom was a nurse there, and she wanted a baby real bad, so she took your...donation. I'm your son."

Answer: swing a bat

Jack tells Elliot, "Listen, Elliot, I can't do this with you, okay? I mean, a kid just does not fit into my "E! True Hollywood Story." Elliot says, "But I don't want anything from you. I just thought every once in a while we could, I don't know, hang out or something, maybe throw a ball..." Jack gasps and Elliot says, "Or watch hockey..." Again, Jack gasps and Elliot says, "Or see a Jackie Chan movie?" Jack then says, "Dear God! What has not having a father done to you?"

Answer: Chris

While at the airport, Will convinces Grace that instead of going to Morocco with him, she should go back and try to work things out with Nathan. After she leaves, Will bumps into a guy and the guy says, "Oh, excuse me..." Will then says, "Excuse me. My fault." We then see it's the guy Will has been afraid to talk to and the guy says, "Hey, I know you. I've seen you at the coffee shop on Columbus. You know, I keep meaning to introduce myself. I'm Chris." Will then says, "Will. Hi. Where are you off to?" Chris says, "France. Going on this bike tour through the Loire valley. How about you?" Will immediately says, "France. Bike tour."