"Alice Doesn't Lisp Here Anymore" Quiz

Answer: Robinson

Will is reading the letter Grace's mother sent her and tells her there is a bunch of stuff about an Alice Robinson and then asked if she knew who she was. Grace tells him, "God, I haven't heard that name in years. You know how every school has that one girl that all the kids make fun of? You know, bad at sports, a little overweight, friends with the lunch ladies?" Will says, "I was that girl." Grace then says, "Poor Alice. We did Model U.N. together, and we were Madagascar, and Alice had this speech impediment, so she said, "Madagathcar." The kids just tortured her.

They called her "Mrs. Lazy Face". I mean, not me. I was always very nice to her, but, oh, they were just awful." She then begins to mimic her, "Hi, my name ith Alith Robinthon. And I'm the ambathador from Madagathcar.

But you can call me Mrs. Lathy Fathe." Was pretty funny. "Madagathcar." "Security counthel." Ha!" Will then says, "She's dead."

Answer: MAC

When karen enters Jacks apartment, he tells her, "My one man show, "Jack 2001", has been nominated for... Are you ready for this? A MAC award. A MAC Award, a MAC Award, did he say MAC Award? Yes, a MAC Award!" Karen says, "Oh my God, a MAC Award?" Jack says, "Can you believe it? A MAC award!" Karen says, "Oh, can you believe it? A MAC award!" They both start laughing and then Karen says, "Oh, wow. Honey, what's a MAC Award?" Jack tells her, "Only the most prestigious award in all of lower Manhattan non-transgender equity waiver gay cabaret."

Answer: "Hi. It's Jack. I'm out...since 1985. Kisses!"

Jack's phone rings and when the answering machine picks up, we hear, "Hi. It's Jack. I'm out...since 1985. Kisses!" We then hear a guy's voice, "Hey, Jack, it's Ted from the MAC Awards. Listen, bad news. There's been a horrible mix-up. Unfortunately, "Jack 2001" was not nominated.

It's just that there were so many gay cabaret acts with the word "Jack" in them, we got confused. Anyway, our bad. Don't be crushed. Hey, let's get a juice sometime. Esca-lator!"

Answer: her grandmother

While at the funeral. a woman introduces herself to Will and says, "God, you know, my grandmother would be so touched if she saw how many people came out today. I'm Alice Robinson." Will is attracted to Alice's brother, Gabe, and when he introduces himself to Will, Will says, "I'm Will. I'm so sorry about your grandmother." Gabe then says, "Yeah, it was quite a shock. Well, not really that big of a shock. She was 94 and had a really negative outlook."

Answer: Sylvester Stallone

Grace approaches her old classmate and says, "Hi, Alice? It's me, Grace Adler. You probably don't even remember me. We went to Hawthorne Junior High School together a million years ago. Go Cougars! Grr. Ha ha. Anyway, you probably already knew this, but I was the one who started the whole "Mrs. Lazy Face" thing, and I'm sorry. Wow. I feel better." Alice is very upset and says, "That nickname followed me through high school, through college, even Harvard Med! Just last week, I had to tell my fiancé to knock it off. For 20 years, I have been afraid to talk because of my lisp. I've never even seen a single movie with Susan Sarandon or Sissy Spacek.

But through it all, I knew that someday I'd be able to look you in the eye and say very clearly, you suck!" She then leaves and Grace says to the people staring at her, "Well, on the bright side, she probably never had to see anything with Sylvester Stallone."

Answer: Bed Head Red

The minster has Grace at the podium to give a small speech and she says, "Well, where to begin. Alice Robinson was... So, here's to you, Mrs. Robinson. Jesus loves you more than you will know. Whoa, whoa, whoa. And now, Alice has... Crossed that bridge over troubled water... And is hopefully feeling groovy... No longer homeward bound..." Will coughs and tells her to stop.

She then says, "Sorry. Okay, Alice was very forgiving. She was not the kind of person who would hold a grudge over some childish nickname. I mean, we all had those, right? I mean, I had plenty, like "Gross" Adler. And what was that other one?" Will says, "Flatsy Patsy." Grace says, "Right. thank you." Will says, "Bigfoot. Mop Top. Scarlet Pimple." Grace then says, "Stop it. My point being that I know what it feels like to be made fun of, and I know it's not a good feeling. So, if Alice was here today, all I'd really want to say to her is I'm sorry if I ever hurt her, and wherever she is, I hope she'll forgive me."

Answer: a trip

After Jack finds out he wasn't nominated for a MAC award, he gets depressed. Karen tells him, "Now, I know not winning that award was a big disappointment, but believe me, in my eyes, you're a winner. Yeah. There's no better mo out there." Jack says, "I don't care what you think. I don't care what anybody thinks. Without a MAC award, I'm nothing!" Karen then says, "Okay. I thought you might be feeling this way. So, I racked my rack, and then it came to me. I'll get him a cute boy to ease his pain." Jack sits up and act interested, Karen says, "But then I thought "No." Jack lies back down. Karen says, "Jackie's not that shallow." And then I thought, "Hey, diamonds are a girl's best friend. I'll get him jewelry!" Jack sits up again, Karen says, "But then I thought "No." Jack lies back down. Karen says, "Jackie's a lot more complicated than that." And then it hit me. "Nothing takes the sting out of failure like a big, fat check. I'll give him money." Again, Jack sits up and Karen says, "But then I thought "No." Jack lies back down. Karen then says, "My Jackie can't be bought.

He's an artist. He has brought joy to fives and tens of people with his cabaret act. That's what's really important to him." Jack sits up and says, "I guess you're right." Karen then says, "Ha! I fooled you! Check it out, Jackie." Karen opens the door and a guy enters wearing a tiara and carrying some money. Karen says, "The dude, the diamonds, and the dough. Yeah!"

Answer: No

Gabe thanks Will for coming and Will says, "Oh, no problem. Uh, listen. I hope this isn't forward or inappropriate, but, you know, I thought we sort of made a connection before, you know, and we had that great hug. Can I call you sometime?" Gabe asks, "Are you hitting on me at my grandmother's funeral?" Will says, "Well, I just..." Gabe interrupts him and says, "Have you no shame? I'm embarrassed for you." Will says, "Let's keep our voices down." As someone walks by, Gabe says, "He's hitting on me."

Answer: Sandy

Alice tells Grace, "Anyway, I really appreciate what you said today. It took a lot of guts to come here and say that." Grace says, "Well, thank you for understanding." Alice says, "Listen, I teach a speech therapy class in the city a couple days a week, and, you know, maybe we could get together and have a drink sometime.

Hey, you know, in fact, some of my students are here today. Would you like to meet them?" Grace says she would and Alice leaves to get them. Grace then pours herself a cup of coffee and burns her tongue. Alice returns and says, "Grace Adler, this is Cindy, this is Jason, and this is Sarah." Because of her burnt tongue, Grace says, "Hi, Thindy. Hi, Jathon. Hi, Tharah." Alice gets upset and calls her a name.

Answer: Alex Kapp Horner

Alex can be seen in some other popular TV series' as well. On "Party of Five", she played Maureen in the episode, "Short Cuts". On "Seinfeld", she played Maura in the episode, "The Strongbox". On "Friends", she played the role of Stephanie in the episode, "TO Where Ross Hugs Rachel" and on "ER", she played the role of Brenda in the episode, "April Showers".