"South Park" - "I'm a Little Bit Country" Quiz

Answer: doing math problems

Of course the boys chose to go outside, planning to fool around for the day. Unfortunately, Mr. Mackey handed them some rally signs and a news reporter started asking them questions about the war and the Founding Fathers. The boys tried their best to cover, but it was pretty obvious they knew nothing about the war or American history, so Mr. Garrison decided they'd have to do reports on the Founding Fathers.

Answer: beating each other up

They first realized that the post office and grocery store were only accessible to one group, and soon realized that the entire plan was pretty impractical and agreed that they'd be better off just brawling like they had been before drawing the line!

Answer: a rock

The other boys found him at his house preparing to walk under a rock that would drop on his head. Cartman theorized that if he was thinking about 1776 when the rock hit him, he'd have a flashback. Of course, it didn't work and he just woke up on the floor of his hallway, groggy and confused!

Answer: TiVo

He filled his TiVo with historical programming, then dropped it into a tub of water with himself. Cartman was electrocuted, but he also woke up in 1776, so the plan was a success!

Answer: gave it to both groups

The Mayor decreed, "The town square is public space. That means if neither group will nicely and maturely move the day of its rally, I'll just have to give the town square to both groups." The Mayor clearly didn't think through the potential ramifications of putting opposing rallies in the same space!

Answer: yes

When he learned that only the "official messenger boy" could speak with Thomas Jefferson, Cartman took a piece of wood and beat the messenger boy to death. Then he knocked on Jefferson's door and was handed one of the most important documents in American history: "The Declaration of Independence Day!"

Answer: free ice cream Thursdays

John Adams read the entire document to the Congress, including Cartman's addendum: "P.S. - Every Thursday should be Free Ice Cream Day." None of the Congressmen seemed to pay it much attention, though, because they were too caught up in the document's implications concerning war with England.

Answer: no

When they got ushered to the microphone, the boys confessed that they didn't do their report. The opposing rallies each took it as a sign that they were right and ended up starting a huge brawl!

Answer: Benjamin Franklin

Franklin arrived at Congress and suggested a solution to the dilemma: "I believe that if we are to form a new country, we cannot be a country that appears war-hungry and violent to the rest of the world. However, we also cannot be a country that appears weak and unwilling to fight to the rest of the world. So... what if we form a country that appears to want both?" Jefferson immediately caught on, musing, "Yes, of course. We go to war, and protest going to war at the same time."

Answer: yes

After returning from his flashback, Cartman ascended to the rally stage and gave his presentation:
Cartman: "I learned somethin' today. This country was founded by some of the smartest thinkers the world has ever seen. And they knew one thing: that a truly great country can go to war, and at the same time, act like it doesn't want to. You people who are for the war, you need the protesters, because they make the country look like it's made of sane, caring individuals. And you people who are anti-war, you need these flag-wavers, because, if our whole country was made up of nothing but soft [wimpy] protesters, we'd get taken down in a second. That's why the founding fathers decided we should have both. It's called 'having your cake and eating it too.'"
Randy: "He's right. The strength of this country is the ability to do one thing and say another."
Skeeter: "Yeah, but... if it weren't for all you guys protesting, why... everyone around the world would hate the American people instead of just the President."
Gerald: "And if it weren't for you people flexing your arms, America could easily get taken over by terrorists, or... or China."