"South Park" - "Christian Rock Hard" Quiz

Answer: Vietnamese

He knocked on the door to check on the boys, saying, "I thought a group of Vietnamese people were having their intestines pulled out through their mouths." Cartman wasn't too amused by the dig, but Kyle agreed that their band was suffering because they all came from different styles of music and suggested listening to other albums together to find inspiration. Cartman had a little revelation and suggested they just form a Christian rock band, since it's easy music to make and has a built-in audience. Kyle and Stan protested, so Cartman decided to strike out on his own and bet Kyle $10 he'd get a platinum album before the other boys.

Answer: bass guitar

He knocked on Token's door and told him to get the bass guitar from his basement and meet at his house. Token protested that he didn't have a bass guitar, to which Cartman replied, "Your family's black, Token! There's bound to be a bass guitar in your basement somewhere!" Sure enough, Token showed up with a bass guitar and amplifier that he'd found in the basement.

Answer: Prince

Of course, they'd barely started downloading the songs with the police helicopter flew up to their house and FBI agents crashed into the room to arrest the boys!

Answer: yes

At first when Cartman told him to provide a bass line, Token resisted, explaining that he didn't know how to play bass. Cartman paused and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, saying, "Token, how many times do we have to go through this? You're black. You can play bass." Token replied, "I'm gettin' sick of your stereotypes!" Cartman was unfazed and shot back, "Be as sick as you want, just give me a goddamn bass line!" Sure enough, Token started to play and was surprised by his skill.

Then, realizing that Cartman was right, Token uttered in annoyance "Goddamn it!"

Answer: Adam Levine

The agent showed them that Ulrich was sad because he was having to wait a few months longer before he could afford to have a "gold-plated shark tank bar installed right next to the pool." Britney had been forced to downgrade from a Gulfstream IV private jet to a Gulfstream III, which didn't "even have a remote control for its surround-sound DVD system." And Master P. wasn't going to be able to afford a private island in French Polynesia for his son's birthday gift.

The agent warned the boys that unless mankind stopped downloading music for free, "recording artists [would] be forever doomed to a life of only semi-luxury."

Answer: the beach

Cartman explained to Token and Butters that "the key to a hot-selling Christian album is a flashy inspirational album cover." To achieve that, Cartman directed the other two boys to stand on the periphery of the frame, basically in the background and looking away from camera, and then he ran into the foreground and lifted his face and hands to the heavens in mock-spirituality!

Answer: locked Sanctified in a janitorial closet

Cartman realized that they'd sell a lot more copies of their album if they could perform on the stage. When Sanctified's members asked for directions to the backstage, Cartman hatched a little plan. He told the men he wanted to pray with them before they went onstage, then led them into a janitorial closet, so they could "hear" better, then locked them in!

Answer: yes

After Christ-Fest, Faith Records (looking suspiciously like the Los Angeles Capitol Records building) called Cartman's band in for a meeting. They wanted to ask about some of their lyrics, as they made it seem like Cartman was "in love" with Christ. Cartman got defensive, questioning the executives' commitment to Christ, and the executive tried to reassure Cartman, "we just like to make sure the bands we sign are in it for God, and not for the money." Cartman played indignant quite well, retorting, "I resent that, sir! I have never in my life done anything just for the money! If I'm lying, may the Lord strike me down right now!" Token looked appalled and Butters actually slipped out of his seat, seemingly concerned about catching some of God's wrath as an innocent bystander!

Answer: no one

Having learned their lesson, the boys proclaimed that MOOP wasn't about money; it was about music. When they asked who was with them, though, all the other striking musicians just sat there. Eventually Britney Spears told them, "We're just about the money" and all the other musicians agreed.

Answer: no

His band sold a million copies, but the Christian Recording Industry doesn't present platinum albums. Instead, Cartman received a Myrrh album, thereby losing his bet. Furious that he could never go platinum with a Christian rock band, Cartman actually dropped the f-bomb in reference to Jesus.

The huge crowd of Christian rock supporters Cartman had gathered for the ceremony was horrified. The people ran off, covering their ears. Then Token actually beat Cartman up and left him alone with Butters, who worked up the courage to fart on Cartman's head and swear at him before walking off himself!