"South Park" - "Night of the Living Homeless" Quiz

Answer: basketball

They arrived at the basketball court and Cartman announced that he was going to play on a team with Kenny against Stan and Kyle but they realized the homeless people sleeping on the court would prove a problem. When the boys asked one man to leave, he just asked them for change. Cartman complained that the man smelled "like Kenny's house" and told him to "get outta here!"

Answer: Kyle

Kyle seemed to feel bad for the homeless, telling his friends that "they don't have any food or shelter. We have to do something." Cartman agreed, saying that Kyle was right and he agreed with Kyle on what they should do. Cartman, of course, thought that they should build a little ramp so he could jump over the homeless on his skateboard while all the kids gathered around, and thought Kyle insisted, "This isn't exactly what I had in mind," all the kids credited him with the idea.

Answer: designer sleeping bags and makeovers

The Chief of the Fire Department suggested buying the homeless designer sleeping bags and makeovers so that they'd be pleasant to look at. Everyone really liked that idea. Then Randy Marsh, representing Parks and Public Grounds, suggested turning the homeless "into tires. So that we'd still have homeless but we could use them... on our cars." People really liked that idea, too, marveling that it would be "like recycling." The City Planner finally spoke up that she found the discussion offensive, emphasizing that "the homeless are not monsters; they are people like you and me." This clearly worried Randy, who deduced, "You mean they've adapted... copied our DNA." The Homeless Advisor then warned the other adults that if anyone in South Park gave the homeless anything, it would surely bring more to the city.

Answer: $20

Kyle gave the homeless man the money he'd been saving for a new XBOX game, but the homeless man just asked for more money! Kyle was confused, saying, "No, that's... I thought that was a lot." The man just turned away and headed up the street without even thanking Kyle!

Answer: needed bus fare

Gerald left the roof of the community center to try to catch a bus to another town. Alas, when he was bombarded by homeless asking for change, he succumbed and gave them all the change from his pockets. Only then did he realize he had no change for the bus and joined the chorus of voices begging for change. From the roof, Randy observed somberly, "He's become one of them."

Answer: war veteran

Though Steve mentioned having a pregnant woman with him, the irresistible homeless person was a war veteran. When Randy realized how dire the situation was, he opened the door and let Steve and his party through, slamming the door in the face of a homeless man who'd followed them up.

Answer: nourishment

He was educating the boys on the differences between real people and homeless people. First he showed them the internal organs of a homeless person whom he'd dissected, explaining that they were identical to those of real people. He then led them to a homeless person chained to the wall and told the boys that the only real difference between real people and homeless people was that the homeless could "survive solely on change." He claimed they could "take our change and turn it into nourishment, sustenance." He put some change in his cup, and showed the boys that the homeless person almost immediately forgot that he'd just been given change!

Answer: gun

He helped the boys escape his "laborotory" and then took "the easy way out," shooting himself in the head. However, the shot really only wounded himself and he had to shoot himself over than half a dozen more times before he actually died!

Answer: Pop Tarts

Linda Stotch tried to reassure Randy, "No, no, wait! There's still a box over here." Randy wasn't interested, though, declaring, "Those are cherry! Yech!"

Answer: his wife

Unfortunately, his wife told him that, because of all the homeless in South Park driving property values down, the bank had foreclosed on his house, making him, too, homeless. Randy immediately aimed his rifle at Glenn's head, ready to shoot if he became a fully-fledged homeless person. Soon enough, Glenn realized the gravity of his situation, worrying aloud, "This is crazy! How can they just take away my house? Where am I supposed to put all my things? I don't have a place for all my stuff. Where am I supposed to put all my stuff?! I'll need to pay for storage. Can I borrow some money to put my stuff in storage? Come on guys, if you all just help me out a bit... if you all put in a little... change? Change?" At the sound of those fateful words, Randy shot Glenn in the head, sighing at the loss of a former comrade.

Answer: "We are nine."

They walked into the town, which looked like a war zone with all the buildings reduced to smoldering rubble, and were confronted by three men in camouflage fatigues who asked if the boys were homeless or homeowners. When Kyle responded that they were nine, the man said, "Yeah, well, that makes you homeless, so get outta here before you die!" Luckily, the men had heard of Cartman's feats jumping the homeless and allowed the boys to stay and learn how to solve the homeless problem.

Answer: his wife

He was telling the boys about how homelessness became a problem in Evergreen: "The homeless first started arriving in Evergreen about three months ago. At first there were only a few of them, asking for change, sleeping in the parks. But then more showed up, and we realized there was something different about them.

They fed off of our change to the point that they could actually start renting apartments. We knew it wouldn't be long before the homeless actually started buying homes, and then we'd have no idea who was homeless and who wasn't! The people living in the house right next door to you could be homeless and you wouldn't even know! Nobody could trust anybody. Fights broke out. War! That's when I started suspecting that my own wife, who I had been living with for 20 years, was actually homeless, so I had to burn her... in her bed... while she slept.

After she died I vowed I wouldn't let the homeless destroy our town, so we came up with a plan to get rid of them once and for all." Unfortunately, Dennis' wife didn't actually die; she came back to get her revenge and kill Dennis!

Answer: sent them to South Park

Kyle found the pamphlet that Evergreen had printed, advertising South Park as a "haven" for the homeless. He was furious to learn that Evergreen hadn't "solved" their problem at all, but rather had simply moved it to South Park!

Answer: a bus

After watching Dennis, his wife, and his comrades kill each other, Stan observed, "Dude, our parents are just as stupid as these people. Our town is going to end up just like this!" Kyle assured him it wouldn't, saying he had an idea. Stan tried to stop him, saying "No, no, no. We're not having Cartman jump over any more homeless people, Kyle." Fed up, Kyle insisted, "That isn't my idea! I saw a bus in a garage a couple blocks back; we need to modify it." Then, in a scene parodying the 2004 "Dawn of the Dead", the boys were seen hard at work making modification to a bus so that they could ride in it without being attacked by the homeless.

Answer: "California Love"

The boys parked the bus right below the Community Center and turned on the loudspeaker system, singing along to the tune of "California Love": "California... is nice to the homeless. Califor-nya-nya: super cool to the homeless. In the city! City of Santa Monica. Lots of rich people, giving change to the homeless.

In the city! City of Brentwood, they take really good care, of all their homeless. In the city! Marina Del Ray. They're so nice to the homeless. Built the port-a-potties! California! Super cool to the homeless! Califor-nya-nya [...] In the city! City of Venice. Right by Matt's house, you can chill if you're homeless." As with the pied piper, the boys led the homeless out of South Park and all the way to California!