"South Park" - "D-Yikes" Trivia Quiz

Answer: Hemingway's "The Old Man and the Sea"

When the boys complained that they couldn't read an entire book in one weekend, Ms. Garrison suggested, in her particularly graphic way, that if they thought and acted less like men, they could "get more done."

Answer: moving truck rental

The Moovit! store was clearly modeled after U-Haul, and when Cartman asked if the Mexicans needed work, they confirmed that they did.

Answer: Curves

Ms. Garrison was on the treadmill at this women's only gym complaining about men when another woman invited her to the "girl bar," aptly named Les Bos.

Answer: No

When asked if they'd written the essays, the Mexicans said they had, so the boys asked where they were. The first Mexican replied, "Well, my ese lives in Miami. I wrote to him like you said, but I don't think he got the letter yet." The second one told the boys that he wrote his ese in Albuquerque and the third said, "I wrote three eses. My ese back home, my ese in Denver, and my ese in Glenwood even wrote me back: 'Thanks for writing me, ese.'" Cartman's face when he realized the Mexicans had misunderstood the English word "essay" for the Spanish slang "ese" was classic and he asked them why they'd pay to have them write their friends.

The first Mexican confirmed, "We thought it was kind of strange."

Answer: Jimmy

The boys were looking to see if they were the only ones who hadn't finished their homework and asked Jimmy if he'd done his. Jimmy told them he felt "pretty good" about his book report and that he'd gotten "a really nice letter from [his] ese who works down at the U-Haul." The boys of course realized that the letter had been the result of their own machinations!

Answer: No

They were terrified because of the threats Ms. Garrison had made when she assigned the reading, but since her weekend had gone so well, she didn't seem to care about the assignment anymore. She then proceeded to tell the class that she was gay and had met some really nice lesbians. Butters pitched in with some sage advice: "You have to be careful with scissors."

Answer: veiled faces

The Mayor was unmoved by Ms. Garrison's argument and replied simply, "Ms. Garrison, get out of here."

Answer: 300

The Persian couldn't understand why the lesbians were being so difficult, saying "this is crazy." Ms. Garrison replied with great feeling, "No, this isn't crazy; this is Les Bos!" Then she kicked the man between the legs. The lines were a reference to "300" when the Persian emissary claimed it was madness to threaten a messenger, and King Leonidas replied "Madness? This is Sparta!" and pushed him to his death. Trey Parker and Matt Stone also used framing, stylized but random slow motion, and voice-over narration to pay homage to "300". Even referring to the businessmen as "Persians" was to support the "300" spoof, as Persia became known as Iran in 1935. Ms. Garrison even refers to one of the Persians as an Iranian in the midst of battle!

Answer: Hummer

According to the voice-over narration, Xerxes "sat atop a gold hummer, with customized Gucci accessories which only a Persian would think was cool."

Answer: the Mexicans

Ms. Garrison showed the other lesbians that, with a little hair gel, "a silk shirt, some gold chains, and tons of cologne," the Mexicans could pass perfectly as Persians.

Answer: made coffee

The coffee helped the lesbians to "find new life" just before the Mexican spies returned with a damning secret about Xerxes.

Answer: to make Ms. Garrison manager of Club Persh

Xerxes told Ms. Garrison that she would "make good money" as the club manager. This scene paralleled the one in "300" where Xerxes tried to end the conflict by allowing Leonidas to rule Sparta after it was incorporated in the Persian empire. Just like Leonidas, Ms. Garrison turned down the offer.

Answer: he was actually a woman

The Mexican spies had seen Xerxes working out at Curves. No other evidence was needed!

Answer: no

After Ms. Garrison showed Xerxes the joys of lesbian love and acceptance, Xerxes decided to keep Les Bos just as it was: a haven for lesbians.

Answer: fractions

Ms. Garrison needed to be at the lesbian bar, so the school "hired a substitute" to teach the class. The "substitute" was the group of Mexicans, and they were teaching how to add fractions. The lead Mexican told the class, "and so, to find the sum of the two fractions, you must always first check for the lowest common denominator" and the other Mexicans showed their support: "si, yeah, si..." Stan commented that their new teachers were "pretty good" and Kyle agreed, saying, "yeah, I think I'm actually learning something!"