"South Park" - "Two Days Before ..." Quiz

Answer: beaver dam

Cartman handed Stan the keys and urged him to take them for a spin around the marina. Unfortunately, Stan lost control of the boat and the boys crashed into a "very large beaver dam." As the boat burst into flames, the boys swam to safety ashore and Cartman confessed that the boat wasn't his uncle's, but some random person's! Cartman determined to use a game of Tea Party at his house as an alibi and headed away from the scene with Stan not far behind.

Answer: self-immolation

Stan watched in horror as the news covered Beaverton's devastation. The entire town was flooded and the news media was doing its best to give the event sensational coverage:
Correspondent: "Tom, I'm currently ten miles outside of Beaverton, unable to get inside the town proper. We do not have any reports of fatalities yet, but we believe that the death toll may be in the hundreds of millions. Beaverton has only a population of about eight thousand, Tom, so this would be quite devastating."
Anchor: "Any word on how the survivors in the town are doing, Mitch?"
Correspondent: "We're not sure what exactly is going on inside the town of Beaverton, uh, Tom, but we're reporting that there's looting, raping, and yes, even acts of cannibalism."
Anchor: "My God, you've... you've actually seen people looting, raping and eating each other?"
Correspondent: "No, no, we haven't actually seen it Tom, we're just reporting it."

Answer: "Figuring out whose fault this is."

Stan, clearly consumed with guilt, looked to his parents for reassurance that someone was going to help the people of Beaverton. His parents were interested in other things, though, and told him, "[Helping those people] is not important right now, son. What's important is figuring out whose fault this is."

Answer: "Peas and carrots."

With each new bit of news, the geologists broke into excited repetitions of the phrase "peas and carrots." This is a phrase often mouthed by extras on movie sets who need to appear to be speaking without actually creating any sound that might interfere with the important action. Once the scientist team delivered the really bad news that global warming was "going to strike [today]," the geologists really began to panic, screaming and throwing papers and furniture around the room!

Answer: broken leg and leaking boob

Sheila Marsh was checking on the people who'd made it into the Community Center and asked Mrs. Garrison if she was alright. Mrs. Garrison replied woefully, "I'm in pretty bad shape. My leg is broken and my left boob is leaking." Apparently, fleeing global warming is a pretty dangerous endeavor!

Answer: boy bands

Finally, Kyle asked if Cartman was the cause, to which Stan replied, "Sort of." Kyle was shocked and Stan spilled the whole truth to his friend, who urged him to tell everyone and put an end to the global warming panic.

Answer: Beaverton Oil

The people of Beaverton were overjoyed when they saw someone was finally coming to help them, even though it was only three little boys in a boat. Unfortunately, they didn't offer much help, crashing into an oil refinery, flooding burning oil into the town. One Beaverton observed his worsened situation and commented sarcastically, "Oh, thanks. Thanks. That's a lot better." Meanwhile, the boys were trapped inside the oil refinery and Kyle urged Stan to tell his parents the truth so that someone could come help them! Stan conceded, and called his father from a pay phone, a la "The Day After Tomorrow". Continuing the spoof, Randy vowed to bear what he was sure would be sub-freezing temperatures to venture to Beaverton and save his son!

Answer: gold

Kyle was furious that Cartman would exploit the situation to demand his so-called "Jew gold." Reluctantly, Kyle pulled a bag from around his neck and handed it to Cartman. Then Cartman insisted, "I know that all Jews carry fake bags of gold around their necks to keep the real bags of gold around their necks safe! Hand over the real Jew gold, Kyle!" Sure enough, Kyle opened his shirt again to pull another bag from his neck, but this one he threw into the flames beneath them and ran past Cartman to escape!

Answer: crab people

The government was clearly desperate to lay blame somewhere, and the latest scapegoat was "crab people!"

Answer: no

The townspeople thought he was making a more philosophical confession: "Don't you see what this child is saying? We can't spend all our energy placing blame when something bad happens. He's saying... we all broke the dam." Then, one by one, the townspeople stepped forward and each claimed, "I broke the dam" while Stan reiterated his own guilt to no avail!