'Miami Twice' - Pt 2 Quiz 1

Answer: Del puts his seat down too hard

Rodney says that once they arrive at Miami they should organise some transport and accommodation. Del says not to worry, he's already got Alex the travel agent to do so (two birds with one stone, actually: it's a tatty old camper-van). Rodney nods and promises to pay Alex via his credit card when they get back.

But Del already has. Rodney exclaims "What, on ~my~ credit card?!" Del says "Well you were going to, weren't you?" Rodney sighs but decides to let it go. Then Del tries to recline his seat back...and it goes back too far! The angry woman behind him is not impressed...

Answer: Australia

No matter where they go, no matter who they meet, it's always the same. "You come all the way from Australia just for a week?" or "We don't get many Australians here." The day before they are due to fly back to London, an old lady gives them a lift. Del loses his temper when she calls after them "You boys have a nice trip back to Australia." Rodney has to restrain his older sibling.

Answer: David Jason

As Rodney and Del drive off in their rented camper van (quickly remembering to drive on the right-hand side of the road!), the laughing van-rental owner reads the paper. The headline says Mafia boss Vinny "The Chain" Occhetti has been released on bail, and his trial begins next week.

Then we are taken to the Occhetti Family mansion itself. Surrounding the palace are mafia hitmen wearing sunglasses and black suits (one looks similar to Roy Slater, but it's just a co-incidence), with Godfather-like music playing.

A limo pulls up and we get to see the infamous Don Occhetti...who is the spitting image of Miami's newest tourist Del Trotter! Little do Occhetti and Del know. (David Jason does a marvelous job in this role. He sounds exactly like Marlon Brando's Don Corleone, though Don Occhetti is a tad ruder.)

Answer: Life imprisonment

Don Occhetti is furious. He has a police surveillance team parked outside his mansion, plus a film crew shooting a documentary about him. He complains to his son Rico, in the voice of the original Godfather "What happened to my civil rights?!" Rico patiently explains they tend to diminish when one gets arrested.

The Don also grumbles "They're filming me? What do they think I am? A common criminal or something?!" He holds a meeting upstairs with Rico and Salvatore, the Family's nerdy lawyer. Why can't they get The Don off the hook? Salvatore nervously explains "We're having some problems proving your innocence." The Don barks "Why?!" Salvatore explains "Because you're guilty." The Don has been charged with drug-running, kidnapping and murder, and the FBI has witnesses. Don Occhetti grumbles irritably "Yeah, well, maybe I made a few mistakes in the past, huh. Nobody's perfect!"

Answer: Barry Gibb

Del and Rodney are enjoying themselves on a harbour cruise. They're standing close to good-looking female passengers (who luckily don't hear Del's innuendos!). The boat's loudspeaker relates how cocaine is an "all year-round battle between the Coastguard and the drug runners". (A week later, Del finds that out to his chagrin.) Then on a lighter note they sail past the home of Barry Gibb, lead singer of the Bee Gees.

A man's outside spraying some roses, but Rodney says it's probably the gardener. Del shakes his head "It's a real live Bee Gee!" and he shouts "Baza!" across the water, and feebly tries to sing Bee Gee songs. "I need all this," grumbles the man, walking back inside. And yes, it IS the great man himself! But Del admits "I reckon you was right Rodders. Probably just the gardener." (The other answers are either singers whose songs feature, or celebrities already seen.)

Answer: Both these reasons

It is now dark, and Rodney is irritated the elder brother is delaying booking into a campsite. Del assures him "There's plenty of time to get to the old campsite." Rodney retorts "There's also plenty of time for you to get drunk after we've booked in!" Del stares at his brother in astonishment. What a nerve! Rodney has really hit a sensitive spot, talk about jumping to conclusions! Del will have Rodney know the only reason he is going in there is to ring Raquel and let her know they arrived. Unimpressed, Rodney demands "What's wrong with the public call-box over there?" Del replies "Well you can't get a drink in there, can you?" They go in, Rodney sadly shaking his head.

A minute later the owner is asking them to leave since they're not members - but as soon as he sees Del's face, he apologies profoundly and kisses the elder Trotter's hand! (Rodney grabs Del's fist just in time...) The owner offers the brothers drinks on the house. Talk about Miami hospitality!

Answer: False

The Don himself is virtually under house arrest (one of his goons in the club grumbles The Don can't go to the john without the cops tailing him). But Rico Occhetti and the rest of his thugs are there, having a crisis meeting. The Don's trial is next week and things look black. Rico is insisting Salvatore find his father an alibi. Salvatore snaps back "I don't have to find your father an alibi! I have to find him ~nine~ alibis." Rico exclaims "How can the justice dept do this to him? Don't they know who he is?!" (Actually they do - that's the problem.) But then the nervous night-club owner approaches and apologises. What is he sorry for? He is sorry he didn't book them a private room, since Occhetti senior is here.

The thugs think this is a joke, but the nervous man points to where Del and Rodney sit.

The gangsters' eyes widen in astonishment. They even ring the mansion via cellphone to confirm The Don is really there. Rico and the other mafiosi have a good laugh. Rico is especially happy; he has just thought of a way to help his father after all!

Answer: To dress Del up like his father

Del and Rodney are literally drinking up Miami's hospitality when suddenly a bunch of friendly Italian-Americans approach. They invite the brothers over to their table for a drink or two...or three (and Del completely forgets about phoning Raquel!). Little do the Trotters know two of their new "friends" are outside breaking into their camper-van.

When the brothers finally stagger out, everything has been stolen! Del exclaims "We were only in there half an hour!" he checks his watch "Well, four hours!" But then, who should appear from nowhere, but their new mate Rico and his entourage. Like a knight in shining armour Rico asks what the matter is.

They explain their predicament and Rico "invites" them to come stay at his place. Wow! The brothers cheer up immediately.

They're even happier when they see his home is a mansion. (They have no idea Rico lives with his father, who is watching and listening upstairs on his security monitor.)

Answer: A camel

After Rico sees his "visitors" into the guest suite his father summons him to his office. Salvatore comes too, and The Don demands "What are you doing, picking up guys in bars, huh?!" He is even less happy when he learns they're "limeys" (he thought they were Australians from their accents). Rico explains one is a dead ringer for The Don. What?! Nonsense! The Don saw the man on the monitor. "He's much taller than me, a thinner guy, altogether!" Salvatore shakes his head "No, the other one." The Don saw Del's face too, and is not flattered. "This is your lucky day," he tells Sal "'Cause I'm in a good mood. I'm only gonna break one of your legs! And cause you're a member of The Family, I'm-a gonna do it slowly!" The two men finally convince the head of The Family Del is a virtual twin, but The Don is still not impressed.

He grumbles to Sal "Last year I went to the zoo, and I saw a camel. It looked just like your mother, but I didn't invite it home and put it in the guest suite!" But, when Rico explains his plan, The Don cheers up considerably. If Del is wearing The Don's clothes in public, and someone murders him, in the eyes of America there will be no more Don Occhetti. So no more trial, and no more problem.

The Don warmly embraces his son (probably for the first time in Rico's life) and kisses both cheeks, retracting all the horrible things he ever said about him.

Answer: Car-bomb

Rodney and Del just cannot believe their luck! Not only are they staying at a millionaire's mansion, their hosts lend them expensive clothing, and take them to an expensive open-air restaurant. (The only downside is they can't phone England - according to Rico a storm brought down all the phone-lines.) Next morning Del spots a camera crew filming them. "Tourists, perhaps," says Occhetti junior knowing perfectly well they're not.

At the restaurant neither Trotter wonders why the staff are practically bowing before Del; they just assume it's Miami hospitality. Suddenly the gangsters all excuse themselves from the table ("Probably all them drinks last night!" chuckles Del) and a dumpling slips off Del's spoon. And when he bends over for it...a bullet hits the back of his chair! When Rico runs back expecting to find a corpse, Del exclaims "You don't need it Rico!" Rico angrily snarls in complete agreement. Hours later, at the beach the mafiosi dare Del to test out a jet-ski. Del agrees, boasting he's got a swimming certificate. Out on the ocean he's enjoying himself till he realises the steering is stuck! Rodney is surprised his brother's going so far since he can't swim. Nervous Salvatore cries "But I thought he said he had a certificate for swimming!" Rodney says "Yeah he has, but it ain't his." Del zooms out towards the horizon, disappearing into the distance...