"South Park" - "Probably" Trivia Quiz

Answer: slide

Cartman revealed the plans in the schoolyard, describing the church as having "crystal walls, a ceiling 80 feet high, and a slide that connects this part heya to this part heya." Cartman then asked the crowd who would help him, and all the kids volunteered their aid, as the parents watched in dismay.

Answer: powdered donut pancake surprise

Stan was impressed by the offering, but Cartman saw right through his mom. Though, he quickly ate one of the powdered donuts, he told his mom, "This is a distraction from our work on the church! Do not think that you can tempt us with toys and new games and tidings of powdered donut pancake surprise! For it is the afterlife we have concerned ourselves with! Not the pleasures of this earth, but salvation in the world aftah!"

Answer: a 90s man

Satan was upset by Chris' reaction, wanting him to be less understanding and instead get angry either at Satan or Saddam. Chris explained, "Satan, I'm a 90s man. I cry when I need to. I share my feelings and I keep my mind open about everything." Satan was still dissatisfied, and while he tried to explain his stance to Chris, Saddam snuck in through the window and killed Chris with a dagger to the skull!

Answer: Mormonism

Some of the newcomers to Hell were confused about why they were there, saying that they'd been "a devout Protestant" or "a practicing Jehovah's Witness." Finally, someone asked who actually did get into Heaven, and the Hell Director explained, "I'm afraid it was the Mormons. Yes, the Mormons were the correct answer."

Answer: the park

Chris showed up at Saddam's hotel and asked him to go for a walk in the park with him, which Saddam agreed to after getting his dagger off the dresser. The men weren't really able to find any common ground, though:
Chris: "Saddam, I get the feeling that you don't like me very much."
Saddam: "Gee, whatever gave you that idea? When I stabbed you in the head?"
Chris: "Look, Satan is a very important person to me. And I know he's an important person to you, too. So don't you think it's best for us to just try and get along? I realize that some things about me bother you. So I'd like to hear what those things are so that I can work on them."
Saddam: "You know why I don't like you, Chris? Because you're the kind of guy, who if someone didn't like him, would take him for a walk in the park and ask him why!"

Answer: walk

First Cartman smacked Timmy in the face, then he urged him to get up and walk, insisting that "The Lord" wanted him to. With some urging, Timmy actually got up out of his wheelchair and took a few steps on wobbly legs before falling face forward and crashing through the floor!

Answer: God

First Satan tried to get advice from a pretty little blonde girl in Hell, but she wasn't able to offer much wisdom. She did tell him that when she needed advice, she spoke to God. Satan protested at first, saying, "I can't do that. I haven't spoken to God in, like, 5000 years." The little girl suggested, "Maybe it's time." Satan got up the courage and went to Heaven, where he was greeted by a throng of excessively-grateful Mormons who told him how to get in contact with God.

Answer: Buddhism

God, who appeared as an amalgamation of a number of animals, was dismayed to see what Satan had become. He did offer some good advice, though: "You got kicked out of here for being a headstrong rebel. And now you're a whiny little [baby]. [...] You've become dependent on relationships, so you haven't even considered the option of not being with either of them. And if you're not sexually attracted to someone, you're not ever going to be.

But Saddam isn't right either; he's the other extreme. You need to spend time alone so that you can find the balance, the middle ground. That's what I always do, because I'm a Buddhist."

Answer: Mexico

Cartman was furious that he'd been "cheated" out of his $10 million again, but the anger turned to fear when he thought Jesus was going to send him to Hell. In reality, Jesus sent Cartman somewhere "worse": Mexico!

Answer: sent him to Heaven

Though Satan told both Saddam and Chris that he wanted to be alone, Saddam refused to leave, pointing out that even in Satan killed him, he'd just be back the next day. Satan corrected Saddam, saying, "Not this time! I asked a favor of an old friend of mine to let you in!" Saddam was then whisked away in flames to Heaven, where he met the Mormons:
Saddam: "What the? Hey, what [...] is this place?!"
Mormon 1: "Hello, and welcome."
Mormon 2: "We're glad you made it, brother."
Saddam: "Ey, who [...] are you?"
Mormon 3: "We're just about to do a play, about how much stealing hurts you deep inside. Come join us."
Mormons: "Yes. Come on. Let's go."
Mormon 3: "You're here forever."
Saddam: "Nooo! Noooooo!"