"South Park" - "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" Quiz

Answer: go to a concert

Cartman had tickets to see the Raging Pussies, but when Kyle asked his parents if he could go, they told him "no." Cartman then schooled him on the proper way to get permission: "Dummy, you don't ask if you can go! I'm telling my parents that I'm staying at Stan's house, Stan's telling his parents that he's staying at Kenny's house, and Kenny's not telling his parents anything 'cause they're alcoholics and they don't care!"

Answer: teaching Ike French

When Kyle went back to his parents and begged for permission, they told him that he could go, but first he had to "clean out the garage, shovel the driveway and bring democracy to Cuba." Kyle completed the chores, even bringing democracy to Cuba with a touching letter, thereby allowing construction to resume on "Knott's Berry Cuba!"

Answer: Cartman

Apparently Cartman had done it in regard to his mom's old boyfriend and the police took him away. Cartman then told Kyle that when the police asked, to say it was "bad touch" and to cry.

Answer: underpants

It started with a spoof of "Risky Business" when Kyle slid into frame in his tighty-whities and sunglasses while "Old Time Rock 'n Roll" played, just like Tom Cruise in the original. Kyle kept his uniform on, though, when the boys went to the Raging Pussies concert and when they hosted a house party!

Answer: Butters and Craig

Butters greeted the travelers, who were relieved to hear there was someone else at the garage. That relief faded, though, when Butters told them Craig was busy "playing spaceman" and it became clear that he was also a kid.

Answer: phone

Mark needed to find a phone because he was going to be late for his job interview. Craig agreed to lead them to the white line separating Smiley Town from Treasure Cove, but refused to cross the line to help them find the phone. Fed up, Mark huffed, "I don't have time for Spaceman Spiff's little games." Craig corrected him that his name was "Spaceman Craig" and walked off in spaceman style, complete with self-generated sound effects!

Answer: lemon juice

He bent down to inspect the remote-control car and it squirted him in the eyes with lemon juice. Linda asked if he was blind and he replied, "No. It just really, really, really hurts."

Answer: spit balls

After Mark recovered from the lemon juice, he and Linda were confronted by a group of kids who professed a desire to "play" with them. When Mark asked where their parents were, the kids replied, "We already played with our parents. Now we wanna play witchoo." At that point, Mark started to agree with his wife, saying "Ok, now I'm scared too. That freaked me out." The group of kids swarmed Mark and Linda and climbed on their limbs, so Mark and Linda ran back across the white line.

When the kids realized the line had been crossed, they relinquished their hold on the visitors and scurried back to the Treasure Cove side. Luckily, the 4th graders of Smiley Town were there to lob spit balls at the kids and run them off.

When Mark asked what they were, Craig told him that they were "kindergarteners: Treasure Cove is full of them."

Answer: Cartman

After the kids rescued Linda and Mark from the kindergarteners, Craig told them that he'd been given orders to take them to the Mayor. Linda and Mark were excited until they discovered the Mayor was Cartman, who told them that there were no parents or working phones.

When asked how they communicated, Cartman held up a glass jar and spoke into it, asking Butters how long the visitors' car would take. Then he screwed a lid onto it and handed it to an assistant. That seemed to be the breaking point for Mark, who huffed, "Alright, we've had just about enough here. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. I don't care what little games you kids want to play, we just want out of here, alright?" Just then, the messenger returned and when Cartman unscrewed the lid, Butters' voice replied to Cartman's inquiry: "It's gonna be about three days."

Answer: window handle

Butters had completely dismantled the car and claimed its problem was a "broken window roller-upper." Linda looked horrified and then turned to find Cartman and a mob of kids, who took her hostage to use as leverage against her husband.

Answer: playing bingo

As part of their "rehabilitation," the parents were asked to brainstorm activities that they could enjoy as alternatives to molesting their children. Also on the blackboard were: watch television, rock climbing, cook dinner/meals, and coin hunting.

Answer: Butters

When Mark and Linda tried to stop the sacrifice, the kids threatened to get rid of them by saying they'd molested them, too. Mark then realized that all the adults were gone because they'd been sent to prison and gave a heartfelt speech to the kids about who the real providers were (their parents).

Answer: 10 days

After Mark told the kids that they should call the police and get their parents freed from prison, Stan observed, "He's right, dude. Things were a lot better with our parents around." Kyle agreed, "Yeah, I guess their rules did have a point. Things have gotten a lot worse in the 10 days since they've been gone." Mark was taken aback, exclaiming, "10 days!? It's only been 10 days since they left?" Clearly he'd been taken in by all the talk of "the before time."

Answer: no

After talking the kids into seeing the error of their ways, Mark ruminated, "Hey, maybe we would make good parents after all." Linda didn't seem to agree, saying "after this I'm getting my tubes tied."

Answer: Manager of Denny's

Mark had stressed to the kids that he needed to get his car fixed, find a phone, and so forth, because he had the most important job interview of his life to get to. When he and Linda returned to town, he revealed that he had made the interview and gotten the job, as the new Manager of Denny's in Breckinridge!