"South Park" - "Helen Keller! The Musical" Quiz

Answer: Cartman

Kyle was playing the doctor who diagnosed Helen Keller as unable to see, hear, or speak. Stan and Wendy played the Keller parents, and Timmy played Helen Keller. Butters seemed to be the designated spy, and returned to the rehearsal with news of the kindergarteners' efforts, calling their play "a Thanksgiving extravaganza!" Not to be outdone, Cartman determined that there was still "plenty of time to revamp" their play, despite the fact that they were forced to keep the Helen Keller subject matter. Cartman pointed out that just because they were telling Helen Keller's story didn't mean they couldn't have "Thanksgiving stuff and musical numbers, too."

Answer: $50

Kyle and Timmy were sent to get a turkey to use as Helen Keller's pet for the play. Timmy looked over the turkey options and settled on the only unhealthy-looking one in the batch. The rancher was a little reticent, saying, "That one's a little messed up.

Not exactly the pick of the litter." Then he added, "Best you not take that one. I was just about to take it out in the yard and put a bullet in its head." Timmy was upset by the prospect and Kyle had to concede and buy the handicapped turkey.

When the rancher named his price of $50, Kyle was taken aback, reminding the rancher that he was "just gonna take it out in the backyard and put a bullet in its head!" The rancher reasoned, "I know! Now I gotta find somethin' else to shoot." Kyle begrudgingly handed over the money and the boys had their turkey!

Answer: Les Miserables

Annoyingly, Jeffrey sang his way through almost every conversation. Cartman was convinced Jeffrey could help them beat the kindergarteners, though, and when Jeffrey said he knew of a trick-performing turkey, Cartman's confidence was only increased.

Answer: jumping through a hoop

Gobbles actually seemed like he was trying to learn. He approached the hoop, put his head through first, then, with Timmy's help, got his body through as well. Timmy seemed encouraged by the progress and lit the hoop on fire to step things up. Gobbles, seemingly in possession of a little common sense, just stared at Timmy and pooped on the floor.

Answer: dropping a light on him

Alinicia, the feat-performing turkey, wouldn't perform unless Gobbles was out of the play. Cartman couldn't get rid of Gobbles without pissing Timmy off, though, and Timmy was the only one who could play Helen Keller. At Alinicia's handler's suggestion, Cartman determined to kill Gobbles to solve the problem.

He rigged a light and paused rehearsal to "adjust the blocking," moving Gobbles to where he thought the light would fall. Unfortunately, Cartman had "rigged the wrong light" and the one that fell smashed and killed Kenny instead!

Answer: banana split

Cartman saw a banana split, a portrait of Helen Keller, and a lot of disturbing images, including the Hindenburg bursting into flame, human skulls, rats eating one another, bodies being prepped for surgery and autopsy, and Nazi marches. When Cartman took off the blindfold and Jeffrey asked him if he saw anything, Cartman replied, "No, just the same old [stuff] I always see when I close my eyes."

Answer: a turkey farmer

Gobbles was then grouped in with a bunch of healthy turkeys and taken to a turkey factory that advertised "humane" killing. The turkeys were all ushered into a room that played a video showing Earth's natural beauty (just like the one used to facilitate "humane" deaths in the classic film "Soylent Green").

When the turkeys were relaxed by the film, a giant saw came through and cut all their heads off. Of course, Gobbles was spared since his head was lying on the floor below the reach of the saw!

Answer: water effects

Cartman later had a conversation with the men about how the fountains they'd installed were "shorting out" some of the lights. The men refused to look into the problem, reminding Cartman that electrical issues were handled by a different union. When Timmy overheard the exchange, he realized that Lamond had lied to him and he'd released Gobbles for nothing. Timmy threw off his Helen Keller wig and left in search of his loyal animal friend.

Answer: she was shot

After Timmy saved Gobbles by jumping in front of Jimbo's bullet, he brought Jimbo and his buddies back to the theater and they shot Alinicia. Timmy got his revenge, and made way for Gobbles to show of his true talents, walking through the flaming hoop and wowing the crowd!

Answer: no

The kindergarteners performed their skit, which lasted about 20 seconds, and consisted of a lame song that wasn't even sung in unison. They also had a little fake explosion and a horse prop on wheels. When it was over, the fourth graders were pissed that they'd worked so hard "to compete with that" based on Butters' reports that the kindergarteners' "play was awesome." Butters didn't seem to see the mistake, though, and was just as enthralled as ever by the kindergarteners' work!